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Old 08-07-2017, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,919,286 times
Reputation: 3074

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ReturnOfTheMack2017 View Post
Unless youre a loser, a thug or a bad boy, you will have a hard time dating at this age.
Do not listen to this drivel, OP.

I even had a steady (and very lovely and attractive) girlfriend when I was 21, and I was overweight and had Asperger's Syndroms. I was not a loser, thug, nor a bad boy. I didn't even drink and party, and still don't at 34.
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Old 08-08-2017, 12:21 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,099 posts, read 107,250,308 times
Reputation: 115908
Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves View Post
Do not listen to this drivel, OP.

I even had a steady (and very lovely and attractive) girlfriend when I was 21, and I was overweight and had Asperger's Syndroms. I was not a loser, thug, nor a bad boy. I didn't even drink and party, and still don't at 34.
Exactly. ReturnOfTheMack sounds like a guy who never got approached by college women looking for a quiet, steady, smart but geeky shy guy for potential LTR material and beyond.
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Old 08-08-2017, 12:23 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,099 posts, read 107,250,308 times
Reputation: 115908
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
You're not giving the OP good advice here. When he's in his 30's, women will want to be with him, no doubt. But it'll be for the wrong reasons. Instead of wanting him because they naturally desire him for sex, they'll want him because they see him a reliable provider to settle down with. And therein lies the rub. Because there is no natural desire, it won't be a strong relationship, since it's not anchored by that natural desire on the woman's part. Which means constant arguments and disagreements over trivial matters, like dishes in the sink. Which means neither he nor his partner will be happy.
How is wanting a good guy to settle down with "the wrong reason"? And why can't a steady, dependable type also be the object of what you call "natural" desire? You REALLY don't know women, dude.
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Old 08-08-2017, 01:11 PM
 
20,679 posts, read 8,437,667 times
Reputation: 14273
How about attending a few different churches, even Catholic? Pretend you are looking to join one but are unsure. You'd meet conservative girls but not necessarily celibate ones.

Otherwise find Republicans, Conservatives and even Libertarians. They seem to have common sense, but there are differing views within every major group. Just look at the Regressive Left scolding liberal and moderate Dems for not being extreme enough.

How about a salesgirl who works at a store in your town? If it doesn't work out you will move away after graduation.
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Old 08-08-2017, 02:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,099 posts, read 107,250,308 times
Reputation: 115908
It's been two days since the OP posted, and he hasn't returned, to tell us why he chose a hippie school for his 4-year college experience. And if he felt so strongly that he didn't fit in, why is he still there? Why didn't he transfer out?
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Old 08-08-2017, 02:25 PM
 
29 posts, read 19,770 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by odin77 View Post
(Please excuse the length of this post)

Before I get into the details, I’ll provide some background information. I am 21 years old, play bass in a band that tours regionally, and attend a large state university in the Midwest, where I’m studying German. My current life is generally good, but there is still one aspect which is lacking. I still have yet to have a serious girlfriend, and I find it somewhat frustrating. So far, I haven’t been able to meet a woman I’ve really been compatible with, and I’m not really sure how to go about it either.

With respect to women, I have always been a bit behind. I didn’t even kiss a girl until I was 19, and only lost my virginity a few months ago, at 21. So far, I’ve done things with four girls, but I only actually slept with most recent one. The rest I only got to make out with a couple of times. None of these girls hung around me for very long either, on average about a week before they stopped talking to me. However, losing my virginity has at least given me a little bit of confidence, before I was very depressed and upset about my lack of experience. Now that I’ve at least gotten that problem out of the way and actually had sex (albeit only twice), I want to meet someone I can properly date. The problem is, I don’t know where I’d look.

For starters, I am a natural introvert and my social circle is quite small. The only people I hang out with on a regular basis are my three roommates, who are also musicians like myself. I don’t go out much, and I only really go to bars when my band is playing there. Mostly I just spend time at my house either smoking weed, playing guitar, or listening to records. My hobbies are fairly solitary and unusual as well, for example I learn ancient Germanic languages such as Old Norse and Gothic for fun. Currently, I don’t have any real outlet to meet women.

In addition, my worldview is quite different from that of most people where I live, and this greatly alienates me from the women there. My town is very left-leaning and full of hippies, while I tend to lean more towards the right (NOT Republican or Alt-Right though). This means that the majority of people where I live annoy the hell out of me. Most of the women around here won’t shut up about social “activism” or political causes that I’m sick of hearing about. Paradoxically, I still have the outward appearance of a hippie because I have really long hair, smoke weed, and play in a psychedelic rock band (here’s what I look like for reference: Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet). Because I appear as a hippie at first glance, the only girls that have shown any interest in me are the hippie types, and thus I’d have to censor my true worldview in front of them. I feel like it would be difficult for a woman to fall for the real me.

Because to all of these factors, I don’t know what I should do. It’s hard for me to meet women, let alone any I’d actually have a genuine compatibility with. I mean, what woman would want to have a serious relationship with a weird, long-haired, introverted, right-leaning bass player who’s never had a proper girlfriend before and translates passages from Old Norse into English for fun? That one would probably be the weirdest chick ever, and she probably doesn’t even exist regardless. Anyway, would anybody have any advice for a guy like me? Should I keep trying my luck, or should I not worry about it for now?
Being in a relationship really isn't that big of a deal, man. It's much better to not be with anyone, than to try to force yourself into being with someone just for the sake of fitting in with social norms. That's we have so many guys stuck in love-less and sex-less marriages and stuck losing a lot of money to single mom support when they barely get to see their own kids.

I advise to just focus on your hobbies and keeping your friends close. If you're meant be in a relationship, she'll come into your life. But, I find that people are not as compatible for long term relationships as society would like us to believe (IE: there's someone for everyone and that everyone needs to be in a relationship, get married, etc, etc).

Just live your life and stick to doing what makes you happy.
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Old 08-09-2017, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Removing a snake out of the neighbor's washing machine
3,095 posts, read 2,024,148 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by odin77 View Post
(Please excuse the length of this post)

Before I get into the details, I’ll provide some background information. I am 21 years old, play bass in a band that tours regionally, and attend a large state university in the Midwest, where I’m studying German. My current life is generally good, but there is still one aspect which is lacking. I still have yet to have a serious girlfriend, and I find it somewhat frustrating. So far, I haven’t been able to meet a woman I’ve really been compatible with, and I’m not really sure how to go about it either.

With respect to women, I have always been a bit behind. I didn’t even kiss a girl until I was 19, and only lost my virginity a few months ago, at 21. So far, I’ve done things with four girls, but I only actually slept with most recent one. The rest I only got to make out with a couple of times. None of these girls hung around me for very long either, on average about a week before they stopped talking to me. However, losing my virginity has at least given me a little bit of confidence, before I was very depressed and upset about my lack of experience. Now that I’ve at least gotten that problem out of the way and actually had sex (albeit only twice), I want to meet someone I can properly date. The problem is, I don’t know where I’d look.

For starters, I am a natural introvert and my social circle is quite small. The only people I hang out with on a regular basis are my three roommates, who are also musicians like myself. I don’t go out much, and I only really go to bars when my band is playing there. Mostly I just spend time at my house either smoking weed, playing guitar, or listening to records. My hobbies are fairly solitary and unusual as well, for example I learn ancient Germanic languages such as Old Norse and Gothic for fun. Currently, I don’t have any real outlet to meet women.

In addition, my worldview is quite different from that of most people where I live, and this greatly alienates me from the women there. My town is very left-leaning and full of hippies, while I tend to lean more towards the right (NOT Republican or Alt-Right though). This means that the majority of people where I live annoy the hell out of me. Most of the women around here won’t shut up about social “activism” or political causes that I’m sick of hearing about. Paradoxically, I still have the outward appearance of a hippie because I have really long hair, smoke weed, and play in a psychedelic rock band (here’s what I look like for reference: Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet). Because I appear as a hippie at first glance, the only girls that have shown any interest in me are the hippie types, and thus I’d have to censor my true worldview in front of them. I feel like it would be difficult for a woman to fall for the real me.

Because to all of these factors, I don’t know what I should do. It’s hard for me to meet women, let alone any I’d actually have a genuine compatibility with. I mean, what woman would want to have a serious relationship with a weird, long-haired, introverted, right-leaning bass player who’s never had a proper girlfriend before and translates passages from Old Norse into English for fun? That one would probably be the weirdest chick ever, and she probably doesn’t even exist regardless. Anyway, would anybody have any advice for a guy like me? Should I keep trying my luck, or should I not worry about it for now?

Give it to God!

"In Jesus name, if it is your will, lead me(odin77) to the best woman for me! Thank you Lord, in Jesus's name"

There, just like that! Watch what happens...
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Old 08-09-2017, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,392,029 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGrandK-Man View Post
Give it to God!

"In Jesus name, if it is your will, lead me(odin77) to the best woman for me! Thank you Lord, in Jesus's name"

There, just like that! Watch what happens...


Yeah, if some of us just "led it up to god", we'd be single forever.
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,919,286 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post


Yeah, if some of us just "led it up to god", we'd be single forever.
Yeah, his advice really stinks, even if you're for the most devout religious person. Unless you're a priest, do not take that advice at all, ever.

His advice advocates chronic singleness, which is okay, if that's what YOU WANT and that makes YOU happy. I BEG anyone who is not happy with being single and getting no dates, to not take that advice, at all, ever. I remember just how completely lost and clueless I was, coming up on my 30th birthday with no dates for years. I was hoping that someone would ''Come to me first'' and it never happened. I can only imagine someone that's 50 years old taking this advice. I was scared to talk to girls that I wasn't even attracted to, when I hit rock bottom. And the girls that were attractive to me, I wanted to run for the hills.

Even if an atheist got on here and said ''Leave it up to other women approaching you first'', I would still tell them that advice sucks.
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,919,286 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGrandK-Man View Post
Give it to God!

"In Jesus name, if it is your will, lead me(odin77) to the best woman for me! Thank you Lord, in Jesus's name"

There, just like that! Watch what happens...
Did you ever think that maybe, just MAYBE, god might be giving signs to those who suffer from chronic singleness, to go out there and start doing something about it themselves? Did it ever cross your mind?
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