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Just out of curiosity, How long do you date someone until you are sure you want to take things to the next level? Next level being committed relationship. For me, I would prefer to date for quite some time--six months or so--but that does not appear to be the norm.
Difficult question to answer since each relationship is different. Also depends on how many times you see each other a week, and talk.
For me, I think 6 months would be way too long, though. I'd say 2-3 months of consistently dating and enjoying each other's company. I'd bring up being exclusive around that timeframe.
Hmmm. Let's say once a week, for about three hour dates IRL. Perhaps a call or email on between the dates (so aprox 24 dates)?. Would that stay the same for you?
I have this odd deep feeling that might depend a bit on age and experience. A young inexperienced person might be really idealistic, and just jump in pretty quick. One who has seen some things, might have a better idea of what could go wrong if they move too fast... Or, alternately, I've known older adults who just can't stand to be alone and are in a rush to secure the next serious partner and escalate matters with them. Depends on how independent they are capable of being, I suppose.
I wasn't even thinking about commitment for the first 9 months or so I was involved with my current BF. That was when I made some promises to be exclusive with him (I was poly, so not operating under normal parameters there)...then it was about over a year into the relationship we started talking about moving in together. We're approaching the 2 year mark, later this fall, and we're getting ready to actually move in together. Only a few months ago we discussed if marriage might eventually be a good idea (we agree that it might, but want to take our time getting there, and plan to consider doing it in about 3 years or so.)
I cannot speak to what is normal. I can only say that this is the most successful, happy relationship I've ever had, and this is how it has gone.
My husband and I didn't talk commitment until around the year mark. I like to take things slow. I just enjoyed dating here and there and getting to know each other.
My husband and I didn't talk commitment until around the year mark. I like to take things slow. I just enjoyed dating here and there and getting to know each other.
Ok. I was mainly curious to know if anyone else preferred this kind of dating. This is how I like to date.
Hmmm. Let's say once a week, for about three hour dates IRL. Perhaps a call or email on between the dates (so aprox 24 dates)?. Would that stay the same for you?
Once a week for 3 hours, and daily calling/texting? 2-3 months would still be good, but maybe more towards the 3 month mark (or a bit more).
Like I mentioned, it's not easy to answer since there are variables at play. If I saw a woman I was dating 7 times a week for example (2-3 hour dates), then maybe something like 1 month would probably be okay, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015
My husband and I didn't talk commitment until around the year mark. I like to take things slow. I just enjoyed dating here and there and getting to know each other.
1 year mark would be way TOO long for me, I think. It might make me wonder if she's really into me, or is just enjoying dating around.
Before going out exclusively? If you'd gone out a couple times a week, I'd think you'd be able to tell by a month or two...otherwise it seems you're really just FWBs. I mean we're not talking about getting engaged...just not seeing others.
Keep in mind that MANY people on city-data don't think you should EVER date more than one person at a time so this should be interesting. Maybe those folks start out dating exclusively and then either get engaged or break up after a month or two?
You should be able to tell rather quickly, but each person you date will be different. I try and feel it out and hint at it, see what there response is. Within two months you should know for sure. Or at least have a good idea its going somewhere.
1 year mark would be way TOO long for me, I think. It might make me wonder if she's really into me, or is just enjoying dating around.[/quote]
Well, I consider dating to be just that. Getting to know someone and dating around. Being really into someone in the beginning doesn't mean anything, it's all excitement and being hot for someone. It takes much longer to actually know the person, and know if you like them as a person. That's just how I am. I have a friend who leaps into relationship after relationship, because she so wants a relationship, and it's always a disaster. I may also be a bit different, in that I was happy single, and wasn't in any rush to settle down, and honestly didn't have any real desire to be married.
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