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My parents are in their 60s. My father is already retired and my mother will be retiring within the next 2-3 years. They currently live in a different state.
My father is not in good health and I manage his healthcare from afar (I work in healthcare so his bloodwork and things of that nature make sense to me). My brother lives in the same state, but is more of a burden than anything.
I currently live alone in a rented apartment, but make a 6 figure salary. I could easily get a house (of course with a mortgage haha) if I wanted, but I have no need at this time. My parents are hesitant to move here due to the housing prices and their soon-to-be fixed income.
So I proposed to them that I get a house and they come and live with me (kind of win-win for us since they won't have to spend their money and I'll get to manage their care more closely).
I am 30 though and would like to settle down with a woman sometime soon. While this will not affect my decision, I'm concerned that women may be turned off by this arrangement.
What are your thoughts?
My thoughts: Yes, some women will be turned off.
But I think if you explain and use the right words, some may change their minds.
There is a big difference between the loser guy who never moved out and lives in his parents basement, playing video games all day, being broke and the guy that moved out, created his own life and then
- is so kind to take his elderly parents in
- moves back temporarily to get out of a financial drout
- moves back temporarily to save up money
Are there any 55+ communities or assisted livings in your area that are reasonably priced? You sound like an awesome guy, but yes, living with your parents is going to put a major dent in your dating life.
I think the duplex property is a good idea, but a lot of women may still feel awkward being right next to their boyfriend's parents, especially in the earlier stages of a relationship.
When women marry they usually plan to be the woman of the house and home, and they expect to care for their husband and their children. Incorporating parents into the situation ideally comes much later, after their own nuclear family has been well established independently, and when the parents actually need help.
It's your mother's job to take care of her husband, that's what she promised when she got married: in sickness and in health.
Obviously he must be under a doctor's care, somebody has to be ordering the tests and prescribing medicines. If he has a serious illness, he can't just get advice from you, 'somebody who works in the medical field'. If he needs help with interpretation and medication management, that's what he pays for already. 30 is too young to be taking care of your parents.
My daughter had a little joke when she moved back in for a year after finishing college. She would tell her boyfriend that I'm the one who is living with her because she needed to take care of me, due to my senility. We aren't that far apart in age from you and your parents...some women may question your story.
I feel like its fine and honestly kind of cute. Unless that guy or girl sits on their ass the whole time. But honestly if their relationship with their parents is good its amazing to me so i love it haha
Nope, not a turn off living with parents, as long as you are still being responsible with your family, job, and money.
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