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Me and my family aren't on a reservation. We're just a typical middle-class family living in a normal suburban neighborhood. I also have a steady job in which I make $11.00 an hour and get 35-40 hours every week. My area is surrounded by apartments and stuff like that, so I would imagine I could make something work from that.
Basically, I wouldn't be allowed to be in contact with the family anymore. I wouldn't be allowed to go to any cultural Native events with them, not allowed near my nieces and nephews, etc.
Your parents control what your siblings and their spouses and offspring do? How on earth do they have so much power over other people?
It's tough. I know what you're going through to an extent. I'm a white guy dating...well more than dating, living with, my girlfriend from Pakistan. Her family and friends can't know about us because they'd flip out that she's not with a Pakistani guy. She gets pressure from her family to meet so-and-so's son all the time but she always finds excuses to decline. Fortunately, she's a world away from her family pursuing a career here so it's easy to hide our relationship.
Given that your family won't even let you move out (at which point you could have some breathing room to figure out what you want and develop a strategy to break it to them eventually), there is just no easy solution. You might have to seek out a job or career so far away from home, or with such demanding hours, that they have no choice but to let you move out. Eventually, they'll come to terms with you dating non-Native men...I doubt they'd really disown you. And yeah the guy is going to have to have thick skin, as he'll be blamed by your parents for every problem in your life.
I'm a Native American girl who recently went on a date with a white guy. We both obviously like each other and we want to escalate into a serious relationship, but there's one obstacle in our way: My parents.
My parents are very controlling over who I date. They've said that they only want me dating other Natives and if I end up dating a non-native, they're basically going to treat him like **** and force us to break up. What's frustrating about this is that all of the other Natives that I've dated in the past (ones that my parents have set me up with) have completely disrespected me and I have yet to find a Native American guy who wants more from me than just sex and money. This white guy is honestly all I've been looking for in a boyfriend, but I don't want him to suffer at my parents hands.
This guy has said that he's been through this before. He dated a Mexican in high school and her parents didn't approve, but he was still able to make a relationship work before her family moved to another country and they weren't ready for long distance dating. He says that he doesn't care how my parents treat him and he's willing to go through it again if it means being with me.
I'm 24 years old (he's 21) and I still live with my parents. They don't want me moving out until I'm married and in their eyes, moving out on my own before I'm married is an insult to the family. I would pretty much be disowned and completely barred from the family if I were to move out right now.
Again, this guy is everything I want out of a romantic partner, but I don't want him to be hurt by my parents. But at the same time, I'm tired of being single and having my parents set me up with Natives who don't respect me. What should I do?
Your parents are ignorant bigoted racist buffoons.
Was that honest enough for ya?
I don't have much to tell you other than decide if you wanna cut the apron strings or not. If not, well, have a nice thoroughly controlled by others life.
Taking this thread on face value it's a damn shame.
It's tough. I know what you're going through to an extent. I'm a white guy dating...well more than dating, living with, my girlfriend from Pakistan. Her family and friends can't know about us because they'd flip out that she's not with a Pakistani guy. She gets pressure from her family to meet so-and-so's son all the time but she always finds excuses to decline. Fortunately, she's a world away from her family pursuing a career here so it's easy to hide our relationship.
Given that your family won't even let you move out (at which point you could have some breathing room to figure out what you want and develop a strategy to break it to them eventually), there is just no easy solution. You might have to seek out a job or career so far away from home, or with such demanding hours, that they have no choice but to let you move out. Eventually, they'll come to terms with you dating non-Native men...I doubt they'd really disown you. And yeah the guy is going to have to have thick skin, as he'll be blamed by your parents for every problem in your life.
I wouldn't put it past them to disown me. They aren't the bluffing type, unfortunately.
There wasn't as much pressure on my siblings. I'm the only child left without a boyfriend and the pressure is on me to keep our culture alive.
In that case, I'd just tell your parents "tough luck."
You have your own life to live, not theirs.
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