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Old 08-27-2017, 07:46 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 3,748,335 times
Reputation: 4103

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I went to a meetup a few weeks ago looking to make friends. I met this guy who seemed really cool. We had a lot of the same interests and we had a lot to talk about. He's been texting me almost every day and I have a feeling he has a crush on me. He's been trying to get me to hang out with him solo but I've been dodging it and only go out if there's a group.. but even then, he's talking to me the entire time. I've thought of sending him an awkward text telling him I only want to be friends but I feel weird about doing that. He has a friend who has a crush on me too. I find them both attractive but I really want friends right now. Not to sound cocky but I have enough dating prospects but not enough friends. How do I get out of this with two friends instead of two guys mad at me?
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Old 08-27-2017, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,918,436 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post
I went to a meetup a few weeks ago looking to make friends. I met this guy who seemed really cool. We had a lot of the same interests and we had a lot to talk about. He's been texting me almost every day and I have a feeling he has a crush on me. He's been trying to get me to hang out with him solo but I've been dodging it and only go out if there's a group.. but even then, he's talking to me the entire time. I've thought of sending him an awkward text telling him I only want to be friends but I feel weird about doing that. He has a friend who has a crush on me too. I find them both attractive but I really want friends right now. Not to sound cocky but I have enough dating prospects but not enough friends. How do I get out of this with two friends instead of two guys mad at me?
Nothing wrong with not wanting to date them, but you need to be prepared for the possibility that one or both of them would not wanna be friends only with you, and that you'll have to find more friends elsewhere. I wouldn't wanna be ''Just friends'' with someone that I'm interested in as more than a friend, perhaps they're different, though. I pretty much cut all ties once I hear the ''Let's be friends'' speech, in a respectful way, from those who I am interested in being more than friends with.

I don't know how these meetup things work, but I'd suggest finding meetups specifically for friends only, if that's what you're looking for. And not the type of meetups where people will want more than friendship.
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Old 08-27-2017, 08:04 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,759,441 times
Reputation: 3176
OP:

All 3 of you need to be on the same page for this to work.
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Old 08-27-2017, 10:49 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,759,441 times
Reputation: 3176
OP:

Watch this video...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_UfgVWT_Ak
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Old 08-28-2017, 02:35 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,155 posts, read 26,091,505 times
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Keep the conversations on neutral subjects.
Don't dodge anything , just come right out and say you prefer to keep things as a group activity.
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Old 08-28-2017, 05:06 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,144,466 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post
I went to a meetup a few weeks ago looking to make friends. I met this guy who seemed really cool. We had a lot of the same interests and we had a lot to talk about. He's been texting me almost every day and I have a feeling he has a crush on me. He's been trying to get me to hang out with him solo but I've been dodging it and only go out if there's a group.. but even then, he's talking to me the entire time. I've thought of sending him an awkward text telling him I only want to be friends but I feel weird about doing that. He has a friend who has a crush on me too. I find them both attractive but I really want friends right now. Not to sound cocky but I have enough dating prospects but not enough friends. How do I get out of this with two friends instead of two guys mad at me?
Be honest and direct. Kind, but honest and direct. If they get mad at you, it is on them, and you don't need them as friends anyway.
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Old 08-28-2017, 06:50 AM
 
1,199 posts, read 727,708 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post
I went to a meetup a few weeks ago looking to make friends. I met this guy who seemed really cool. We had a lot of the same interests and we had a lot to talk about. He's been texting me almost every day and I have a feeling he has a crush on me. He's been trying to get me to hang out with him solo but I've been dodging it and only go out if there's a group.. but even then, he's talking to me the entire time. I've thought of sending him an awkward text telling him I only want to be friends but I feel weird about doing that. He has a friend who has a crush on me too. I find them both attractive but I really want friends right now. Not to sound cocky but I have enough dating prospects but not enough friends. How do I get out of this with two friends instead of two guys mad at me?
You mean how do you get to keep two guys that give you attention and make you feel good about yourself without having to do anything in return?

You should probably just tell him you're not into it sexually and let him decide how to proceed.
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:00 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 3,748,335 times
Reputation: 4103
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18 View Post
You mean how do you get to keep two guys that give you attention and make you feel good about yourself without having to do anything in return?

You should probably just tell him you're not into it sexually and let him decide how to proceed.
Someone sounds bitter. You make sex sound like a chore. I don't owe anybody anything.
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,685,303 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post
Someone sounds bitter. You make sex sound like a chore. I don't owe anybody anything.
No I think he nailed it. He didn't say anything about the sex act or "owing anyone." And FTR I NEVER agree with him.

What does "friend" mean to you? You said you wanted friends. So what are these guys doing that doesn't qualify?

And what would you want THEM to do to you in this situation?
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Old 08-28-2017, 10:15 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,176,114 times
Reputation: 2458
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
No I think he nailed it. He didn't say anything about the sex act or "owing anyone." And FTR I NEVER agree with him.

What does "friend" mean to you? You said you wanted friends. So what are these guys doing that doesn't qualify?

And what would you want THEM to do to you in this situation?
I agree. It's an opportunity cost on their part.
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