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A woman certainly has the right to dress how she wants and if the approaches/comments don't bother her (or have not for 15 years) then the husband just has to deal. Perhaps have a calm, rational discussion about the subject so that maybe she tones it down a notch.
Some women do like the attention and therefore do things to accentuate their looks; others hate it and try to downplay their looks so as not to draw attention. The thing I find amusing (when it is not my wife) is that men who have game are often very subtle in their come-ons so that it is not obvious they are hitting on the lady whereas most guys can pick up on this immediately.
That's nothing but a load of crap some women use...EVERYONE can find something to wear.
There's something to this. Before spandex clothing became popular, women with shape/height issues outside the norm would have their clothes tailored. They'd get a size larger, then have the item taken in where it needed to be. Of course, that adds up, if you have to do it to every pair of pants, or blouse and dress. Nowadays it's so much easier to wear stretchy stuff, but that, while comfortable and easy, tends to exaggerate the attention-getting curves. Your friend's wife can't credibly pretend she doesn't know that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
There's something to this. Before spandex clothing became popular, women with shape/height issues outside the norm would have their clothes tailored. They'd get a size larger, then have the item taken in where it needed to be. Of course, that adds up, if you have to do it to every pair of pants, or blouse and dress. Nowadays it's so much easier to wear stretchy stuff, but that, while comfortable and easy, tends to exaggerate the attention-getting curves. Your friend's wife can't credibly pretend she doesn't know that.
Sounds very expensive and something only the well off could really afford, unless one is lucky enough to know how to do it themselves.
I just find it endlessly tiresome, the underlying concept that a beautiful woman is inherently an immoral temptress or something. Like you're a better person if you're ugly. I do not have to cover myself up with a sheet, or render myself ugly, to preserve the tender feelings of men who think they're entitled to get what they see and want. I see and want things all the dang time, but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to have them. At some point, the problem is the guys' problem. I'm not going to contort my behavior to try and control what thoughts might pop into the heads of complete strangers. That's silly.
Just walking around looking attractive isn't a crime, so long as she is decently covered, even if it causes men to have conniptions of the imagination. If she is BEHAVING in some fashion that makes them think they stand a chance, that might be another matter entirely. If she isn't very good at setting appropriate social boundaries and saying no, then perhaps THAT could be addressed.
It sucks when your partner reacts negatively to the fact that you're attractive, just because he's not the only one who is attracted. And if a guy pushes this thinking too far in his insecurity and jealousy, and his partner comes to equate being sexy and feminine with being looked upon as a bad person for "drawing attention" then he shouldn't be surprised when she shuts down her sexuality and starts acting like a total tomboy, wearing baggy clothes, no makeup, etc, and loses interest in being pretty for HIM, too. If he insists that she is for his eyes only, maybe he ought to go live somewhere that they keep their women in guarded compounds or something. Or else he can trust her to fend off other men and be faithful. If he can't...then the relationship has bigger problems than the eyes of other dudes.
Nowadays it's so much easier to wear stretchy stuff, but that, while comfortable and easy, tends to exaggerate the attention-getting curves.
Does it, though? Her body is what it is. She's going to have a big booty in yoga pants or in a baggy dress. It's the "do these pants make my butt look big?" "No, your big butt makes your butt look big" thing.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 08-29-2017 at 12:22 PM..
I don't think I've ever met a woman that gets approached more than my buddies wife. Ever since I've known her (about 15 years) I have noticed it. While her husband has dealt with it for years, he told me the other day that he's sick of it, and that he thinks she brings it on herself because of the way she acts.
I'm not so sure. While she does have an outgoing friendly demeanor, I think it has more to do with here looks and clothing choices. While she's pretty average looking all around, she has a novelty sized rear end. Think Kim Kardashian if she put on about 40lbs. Add to this that she wears some type of stretch fit pants most of the time. I would assume it's because finding clothes that fit her shape is probably challenging. Anyways, you can see both men and women do a double take almost anywhere she goes. While her look has never been my cup of tea, her backside is pretty much the first topic of discussion with most guys the second she leaves the room. I just think a lot of guys are into that look, and the fact that she's pretty average looking in the face and really friendly makes her approachable. She also claims that she has always received lots of "unwanted" attention from men because of her shape.
Do you think someone with a novelty type look like this can attract constant unwanted attention as this woman claims, or is it more of a personality thing as her husband believes?
I probably shouldn't touch this topic with a ten-foot pole, but here goes.
No, how a woman dresses doesn't mean she's trolling for men. No, a woman can't help if she has a killer bod. Let's get that out of the way.
At the same time, I've known plenty of women who have looked smoking hot who never get approached, mainly because their demeanor puts out a "Caution" sign.
Then there are women who just love to flirt with men. They touch. They lock on eyeball-to-eyeball in conversation. They hang on every word. And lots of men interpret that as a buy signal. There are many women who it is purely unintentional. And then there are women who love the attention.
I had an assistant like that. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous in the classic sense of the word, but she was awfully cute (And, no, I was 100% professional with her). But something about the woman just exuded sensuality. Men just flocked to her. And, based on the fact that she got a couple of floral arrangements from guys who weren't her husband, I think she encouraged it to some degree. Guys don't send floral arrangements to women they just find attractive.
One more thing. Maybe there's a bit of a double standard on here. Without hitting the gender war thing too hard, there are plenty of women who come on here posting their suspicions about their SO's behavior. Almost without exception, the response on this board is "trust your instinct."
Yet when a guy comes on this board worrying about the sheer number of men making passes at his buddy's wife, the conversation suddenly shifts from "trust your instincts" to blaming the husband in question. Why is that?
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 08-29-2017 at 12:25 PM..
Does it, though? Her body is what it is. She's going to have a big booty in yoga pants or in a dress. It's the "do these pants make my butt look big?" "No, your big butt makes your butt look big" thing.
LOL the last time a female friend asked me if a pair of pants made her butt look big, I said, "You know, it isn't really fair to blame the pants." She threw something at me, as I recall.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Does it, though? Her body is what it is. She's going to have a big booty in yoga pants or in a dress. It's the "do these pants make my butt look big?" "No, your big butt makes your butt look big" thing.
Seriously, as a guy, if a lady has a hot body, I can tell that if she's sporting overalls or yoga pants, or anything in between.
Ladies know what they're doing when they wear certain pants. Come on. You can look professional. If you look professional, you might still look good, but when you wear certain things it leaves guys salivating like a pack of dogs.
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