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There are a lot of divorced women in the 40's. Some wait for the kids to go off to college, leave the nest, etc then get divorced. I have heard this story many times. They have kids in their 20's, and get divorced in their late 30's or 40's. I won't date women my own age. They just seem so old to me, and I can't get past that.
I used to feel that way, men my age seemed too old and kind of lame. It really depends on the person, some of them catch a second wind and become cool again.
[quote=tamajane;49623194]I used to feel that way, men my age seemed too old and kind of lame. It really depends on the person, some of them catch a second wind and become cool again.[/QUOTE
You're right, I shouldn't generalize. We are all individuals.
Ageism actually roots out the insecure men out of the dating pool for women. It helps and does not hinder. Some men will date average looking women because they are younger over an extremely attractive woman in her late thirties to early forties. There are out of shape, homely, and less attractive people in every age group. Men who are very secure with themselves do not have issues with ageism and do not find attractive women their same age with high values to be threatening. Many men with ageism seem to have too many insecurities for my liking. They are blatantly obvious to others, and the man has no idea or insight to this.
The OP mentioned younger women put out fast and do ONS. There you go. A 12 year age gap is somewhat norm, but in itself will lead to problems down the road.
Ageism actually roots out the insecure men out of the dating pool for women. It helps and does not hinder. Some men will date average looking women because they are younger over an extremely attractive woman in her late thirties to early forties. There are out of shape, homely, and less attractive people in every age group. Men who are very secure with themselves do not have issues with ageism and do not find attractive women their same age with high values to be threatening. Many men with ageism seem to have too many insecurities for my liking. They are blatantly obvious to others, and the man has no idea or insight to this.
The OP mentioned younger women put out fast and do ONS. There you go. A 12 year age gap is somewhat norm, but in itself will lead to problems down the road.
Some men view older women not even as women and claim it is pheromones or something like that. Which is interesting because I had a co-worker in her twenties who had a complete surgical menopause and men still chase her around years later. She was supposed to have turned into an elderly half- man just because of not ovulating but guess what, didn't happen.
Men don't like same age women because it reminds the men they are older too.
My boyfriend said he didn't want to date women his own age, because he himself does not feel "his own age." Which kind of makes sense to me, as he looks younger than he is, and he never had kids or raised a family, and he's still collecting toys and listening to modern music (in addition to the older stuff) and he didn't just lock himself into a rut where his "glory days" are all he talks about, or how the world is going to hell in a handbasket now. He lives in the present, not in the past. I know "older" people who aren't even as old as he is, who seem obsessed with the past and struggle with the present, so I get it.
Does this mean he thought it would be a good idea to chase 20 year olds? No. He said he figured mid-thirties was about right for him. And we're a good match for one another.
Just because someone prefers someone of a certain sort, does not mean they are being discriminatory to those who are not. And I'd rather see people look for real compatibility, as opposed to just finding a partner who seems to be what they are "supposed" to want, better to be with your right, perfect person who is older or younger, than with someone who isn't a good partner for you, but they're your age.
The gap between a 20-something woman and 30-something man is not big enough to be a concern. If it is a 40-something guy or older, then he is simply begging to (eventually) get his feelings hurt.
Any guy 50+ who takes dating a 20 something woman seriously deserves it. If seeing someone with a large age difference it should be with the mindset of temporary fun only. Realistically it ain't gonna last.
Any connection is difficult. Even if temporary, take it if you happen to click with someone.
Women who date older men can't be too picky. The one's I've seen may have money but they're nothing to look at. I guess its a matter of how much money he has and your tolerance for possibly being a care giver one day.
Any guy 50+ who takes dating a 20 something woman seriously deserves it. If seeing someone with a large age difference it should be with the mindset of temporary fun only. Realistically it ain't gonna last.
Any connection is difficult. Even if temporary, take it if you happen to click with someone.
I agree with this, but I don't. A deep connection is on the soul level if you believe in that sort of thing and age plays only a small role in that. I have dated much younger women and had some pretty deep connections with them. Age was not a factor at all, especially after time. The part I agree with is the sad reality that you would not end up having a long term life together. That one would be old way before the other. But in this life there are no guarantees. Is it better to have loved, then not loved at all? I see nothing wrong with a mature woman of say 28 plus, dating a man into his late 40's if all the other factors align up. I see not issues with with up to 15, maybe in some cases, 18-20 years age differences. But that would be the rare exception at polar end of the allowable gap difference. You go beyond that and it's just too much.
women who date older men can't be too picky. The one's i've seen may have money but they're nothing to look at. I guess its a matter of how much money he has and your tolerance for possibly being a care giver one day.
Women who date older men can't be too picky. The one's I've seen may have money but they're nothing to look at. I guess its a matter of how much money he has and your tolerance for possibly being a care giver one day.
Maybe we are picky, just not how you think...
Or maybe there is something besides money that we love about our older men. Maybe we actually find those streaks of silver at the temples in his dark hair quite fetching, thank you very much.
I love about my older man, that he's had a long lifetime to find many selections in music, film, board games etc that he shares with me. I'll never be bored. He has a million stories to tell, about times before I was born and adventures he has had. He's got a certain strength in stillness and power in motion and greatness of spirit, and he makes younger men look like bumbling idiot puppies.
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