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My bf and I have been going out for a couple months. I never worried about his interest until after he came home from his vacation. Atm he is covering for a co worker in his 2nd job and works a lot of hours. I understand and haven't demanded any extra attention. We were always texting each other 1st thing in the morning, but lately the last couple weeks, I wouldn't hear from him unless I texted 1st. I didn't text him this morning and didn't from him until the late afternoon after I texted him. For some reason he sees me later on the weekend and sent me home pretty early on one of the weekend days. That never used to happen and it feels like he is just trying to get rid of me.
I lost it today and asked him about the situation. I told him I felt neglected. He told me he meant to text me, didn't get a chance and that he does care for me a lot. Sad thing I've heard that before from guys and in the end they were using that phrase as an excuse to get off the hook. I no longer fall for those words because a lot of the times, the guys didn't mean it.
Idk what to think, but I've been feeling something off since his trip. He always made an effort to see me as much as he could and I hate when guys make excuses.
Perhaps he met someone on his vacation and is trying to get rid of you? You are going with him just for two months, so it's not like you are seriously dating or exclusive. Talk with him and find out what's going on. If you feel it's not going to work out - just let it go. No hard feelings.
Perhaps he met someone on his vacation and is trying to get rid of you? You are going with him just for two months, so it's not like you are seriously dating or exclusive. Talk with him and find out what's going on. If you feel it's not going to work out - just let it go. No hard feelings.
We are actually exclusive (he wanted to be exclusive) and we have been dating almost 4 months.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
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It sounds like something happened on that trip that caused him to change his feelings for you. Idk what could've happened, but I'm leaning towards that maybe he either met another woman during that time OR a woman that he's had on the back burner met up with him on his vacation.
Or, it might not even have anything to do with another woman. Maybe, he's had some time to think during his vacation about the exclusive relationship he has with you....maybe he's having a change of heart....I mean, it could be a number of things going on with him.
You said you talked to him about how you're feeling about his changed behaviour, and he told you that he meant to text you, but he didn't get a chance to and that he does care for you a lot. Whether what he said was genuine or not, Idk.
You should continue to observe his behaviour for the next couple of weeks to see if he still acts the same strange way towards you like he did when he returned from his vacation. If he does continue to act that same strange way towards you, then you may NEVER know what is up with him (if he doesn't tell you) and you may have to make a decision as to whether you want to remain in this relationship or not.
Always trust your gut. Usually, when you have a bad (or weird) feeling about something or someone, it usually ends up being true.
It sounds like something happened on that trip that caused him to change his feelings for you. Idk what could've happened, but I'm leaning towards that maybe he either met another woman during that time OR a woman that he's had on the back burner met up with him on his vacation.
Or, it might not even have anything to do with another woman. Maybe, he's had some time to think during his vacation about the exclusive relationship he has with you....maybe he's having a change of heart....I mean, it could be a number of things going on with him.
You said you talked to him about how you're feeling about his changed behaviour, and he told you that he meant to text you, but he didn't get a chance to and that he does care for you a lot. Whether what he said was genuine or not, Idk.
You should continue to observe his behaviour for the next couple of weeks to see if he still acts the same strange way towards you like he did when he returned from his vacation. If he does continue to act that same strange way towards you, then you may NEVER know what is up with him (if he doesn't tell you) and you may have to make a decision as to whether you want to remain in this relationship or not.
Always trust your gut. Usually, when you have a bad (or weird) feeling about something or someone, it usually ends up being true.
Its super weird that he says I mean the world to him, then again I know guys can say anything and not mean it. He was the one who pretty much initiated everything from the start and I responded positively towards that. This is why his behavior really concerns me.
As for the "I meant to text you", I've heard that excuse before when I asked about the guy not texting me, feels more like a cop out to dodge consequences.
If the behavior continues, I will not stay. In the past I was stupid and put up w/that behavior for 6 months in a long distance relationship. That emotionally taxed me and I was so happy to find a guy who I thought was crazy about me. No man is worth that emotional pain of feeling consistently rejected. As I mentioned, he is working very long hours (both his jobs), which he doesn't work all the time. In the past though he did the same 16 hour shift and still made me feel wanted and content.
My gut has always been right. After my long distance ex visited, he said weird things and I got a bad feeling. No matter how much reassurance he gave me, something wasn't right. I found out later he had been unhappy for some time in our relationship and ended up dumping me while I was on vacation.
Last edited by Trulyhapyy2017; 09-21-2017 at 09:16 PM..
Trust your gut. From what your wrote, it sounds like he's not into this relationship anymore, but he is too weak to break it off outright.
If I were you, I'd just give him space. Don't text him, and make yourself busy this weekend. If he in fact DOES want to continue the relationship, and his behavior is because of something else that has happened that has nothing to do with you, then you can bet he will be reaching out to you, sensing that he's about to lose you.
Hard to know what is going on. But wait for him to come to you. If he does want it over, nothing can change that. maybe he is just tired, stressed, who knows. Or maybe he isn't into it anymore. Just let him come to you. He knows where you are. I think 4 months is too early to be exclusive anyways, but that is just me.
My bf and I have been going out for a couple months. I never worried about his interest until after he came home from his vacation. Atm he is covering for a co worker in his 2nd job and works a lot of hours. I understand and haven't demanded any extra attention. We were always texting each other 1st thing in the morning, but lately the last couple weeks, I wouldn't hear from him unless I texted 1st. I didn't text him this morning and didn't from him until the late afternoon after I texted him. For some reason he sees me later on the weekend and sent me home pretty early on one of the weekend days. That never used to happen and it feels like he is just trying to get rid of me.
I lost it today and asked him about the situation. I told him I felt neglected. He told me he meant to text me, didn't get a chance and that he does care for me a lot. Sad thing I've heard that before from guys and in the end they were using that phrase as an excuse to get off the hook. I no longer fall for those words because a lot of the times, the guys didn't mean it.
Idk what to think, but I've been feeling something off since his trip. He always made an effort to see me as much as he could and I hate when guys make excuses.
I think your gut feeling is right. He lost interest for whatever reason.
The whole "I didn't get a chance to text" is total BS. I have had guys text me from dirty porter potties at work on a construction site. If they wanna text, they will no matter how busy they are (if they aren't surgeons, hahaha).
Sounds like you already know what to expect, so my only suggestion for you is to prepare yourself for the worst and best coming. I would prepare for the worst, but is not the end of the world. No one in this world is special because the world continue with or without you or me. I am trying to be negative here, instead, I am trying to tell you to prepare for reality. The world we live in is imperfect, every human has flaw, so don't expect so much. No higher expectation equals no disappointment. Chances are, we are disappointed more often than we can imagine. Why? Cause we expect certain way in the first place.
I think your gut feeling is right. He lost interest for whatever reason.
The whole "I didn't get a chance to text" is total BS. I have had guys text me from dirty porter potties at work on a construction site. If they wanna text, they will no matter how busy they are (if they aren't surgeons, hahaha).
I agree.
OP, there have been times when I have been physically and/or mentally exhausted to the point of not even having the energy to make myself a bowl of cereal, and yet I've been able to summon the energy and courtesy to tell whoever I was seeing that "hey, I'd love to see you but I just can't right now, feeling really run down, how bout we make a plan for next week" or whatever. Even if it was a quick email, so they would know that I wasn't trying to blow them off.
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