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Over the years I have done a lot of browsing at the public library. A few times I have come across books on dating-and came across mention of "the diamond in the rough". Somebody who at first glance doesn't seem glamorous, but has enduring positive qualities. Somebody who would be a good choice for marriage.
If you cast even a slightly wider net than a lot of guys do, and look outside the top 20-30% of women in attractiveness, and maybe go instead for, say, women who are well-travelled or know some Spanish, or share a hobby with you, you won't be talking to women who are surrounded by other guys. You can find women even in the cities that are male-dominated, demographically. It's not as hard as you think.
Why don't you tell us what strategies you've tried so far to meet women. We get a lot of guys who complain about there not being enough women in their area, but they've never seriously tried to get out and circulate and meet women. No one's going to hand you dates on a silver platter. You have to get out there, and get involved in activities that bring you into contact with women. Being in a female-majority city isn't going to help you, if you don't make an effort to meet women.
In my adult life I have only met women in the workplace and on Tinder. I learned that dating women you work with isn't always the wisest thing to do. Tinder is not really my thing either, most women I have matched with aren't very quality; I guess I'm not very photogenic or I don't know how to present my profile in a desirable way for me to connect with the women of my intention.
It seems like back in high school it was so easy, all you had to do was sit next to the girl you liked in class or walk up to her in the cafeteria or something. Now all I do is drive from work to the community college I go to for night classes and then back home(where I live it's very car-centered so there's little spontaneous human interaction); it's much less chances of meeting women spontaneously like that.
In my adult life I have only met women in the workplace and on Tinder. I learned that dating women you work with isn't always the wisest thing to do. Tinder is not really my thing either, most women I have matched with aren't very quality; I guess I'm not very photogenic or I don't know how to present my profile in a desirable way for me to connect with the women of my intention.
It seems like back in high school it was so easy, all you had to do was sit next to the girl you liked in class or walk up to her in the cafeteria or something. Now all I do is drive from work to the community college I go to for night classes and then back home(where I live it's very car-centered so there's little spontaneous human interaction); it's much less chances of meeting women spontaneously like that.
Aha! So--you have no strategy. No wonder you're not getting anywhere. Moving to a city with more women than men wouldn't help you.
You need to find some activities/clubs/hobby groups to join, that fit your interests, so see if anyone interesting turns up. Check out the schedule of activities and events offered by your local city Parks Dept.; they offer interesting classes, sometimes a theater group, martial arts for men & women, etc., and it's free. They also organize soccer and volleyball leagues, co-ed. Look into singles groups via Meetup, through your local hiking group, or your recreational equipment store. Attend travel seminars by whoever organizes them: a travel bookstore in town, or the recreational equipment store. Maybe attend events or do some volunteerwork in the Hispanic community (if there is one), or anywhere--an environmental group, or whatever interests you. Join a yoga class at the gym, or a Chi Gong class. If your city has a sister city in Latin America, check out the sister city committee. You might run into Anglo women who speak some Spanish. Volunteer for a film festival.
Brainstorm. Look at your local events calendar, and see if there's anything interesting. They list not only entertainment events, but classes, hobby group meetings, and so forth--regularly-scheduled events.
Consider taking a cooking class, to learn some new cuisine. Italian? Mexican? Vegan? Whatever.
It can be the same as in school; women all around, working on a project alongside you, or playing sports with you, or learning to cook with you, etc. All you have to do is chat them up. You can create your own opportunities, that way.
By attractiveness, are you referring to physical appearance, to a womans looks?
Women who are in the average range for looks (that is, most people) can have their own appeal. I wouldn't limit my options by looking only at beauty queens.
There's at least one woman in my life who I've loved that I wouldn't have gotten to love if I kept my options limited.
No, it is not settling, it is expanding your horizons.
1. Not necessarily a specific type; just a woman that respects herself and her family, is not to heavy into drugs, drinking or partying too much, and is atleast somewhat intellectual to be able to exchange ideas and theories etc. Spanish is my first language too so it would be nice for her to speak it but it's not necessary for me.
2.I would think possibly yes, mostly because I tend to overthink things and probably wouldn't know what to approach her with quick enough. It's not easy for me but I have done it a couple of times.
3. Probably would have trouble especially if all the other guys are all attempting to talk to the women at the same time. I would probably just relax by myself and think that it's not worth it at that particular moment.
4. I consider myself adventurous and I'll try pretty much anything atleast once. I fascinated by learning new things; I also like to think I'm pretty resilient in life.
5. I'm definitely more introverted but I don't think I am too extreme.
6. No if I make a move on a woman I'm romantically interested in and she doesn't reciprocate I usually just walk away.
7. At the moment and in this city yes, I haven't had too much success in making a huge group of friends; this is something I'm trying to improve.
Thank you for your help.
See, this is better, as you can do something with this, by narrowing your search for the type or match you're best suited for. I don't quite get the "cast a wide net" approach that prioritizes nondescript traits while ignoring the substance that can better determine overall compatibility, but some dudes here swear by it because they're following their biological imperatives (lol) by hoping to nab a "young and pretty female."
If you're not excluding the non-super models or sub-"top tier women," and you focus on the activities or methods that can put you in contact with good matches, you may have better success.
In my adult life I have only met women in the workplace and on Tinder. I learned that dating women you work with isn't always the wisest thing to do. Tinder is not really my thing either, most women I have matched with aren't very quality; I guess I'm not very photogenic or I don't know how to present my profile in a desirable way for me to connect with the women of my intention.
You do realize you can't pass "intention" via a glamour shot right? Personality has nothing to do with how you look.
Find women of your "intention" by going to places that you intend to go to. There are women there. If those women do not "look" right to you, then maybe the women do not think you match their intentions based on your hobbies either.
IE: you won't find women dressed like models if you are out hunting. But women who hunt can dress up well once they are out of camo gear and mud if you give them a chance. Same with models, you might like them dressed up but find a slob once the clothes and makeup is off.
Aha! So--you have no strategy. No wonder you're not getting anywhere. Moving to a city with more women than men wouldn't help you.
You need to find some activities/clubs/hobby groups to join, that fit your interests, so see if anyone interesting turns up. Check out the schedule of activities and events offered by your local city Parks Dept.; they offer interesting classes, sometimes a theater group, martial arts for men & women, etc., and it's free. They also organize soccer and volleyball leagues, co-ed. Look into singles groups via Meetup, through your local hiking group, or your recreational equipment store. Attend travel seminars by whoever organizes them: a travel bookstore in town, or the recreational equipment store. Maybe attend events or do some volunteerwork in the Hispanic community (if there is one), or anywhere--an environmental group, or whatever interests you. Join a yoga class at the gym, or a Chi Gong class. If your city has a sister city in Latin America, check out the sister city committee. You might run into Anglo women who speak some Spanish. Volunteer for a film festival.
Brainstorm. Look at your local events calendar, and see if there's anything interesting. They list not only entertainment events, but classes, hobby group meetings, and so forth--regularly-scheduled events.
Consider taking a cooking class, to learn some new cuisine. Italian? Mexican? Vegan? Whatever.
It can be the same as in school; women all around, working on a project alongside you, or playing sports with you, or learning to cook with you, etc. All you have to do is chat them up. You can create your own opportunities, that way.
Thank you for your advice Ruth, you seem like a genuine person. I will try out what you are suggesting.
I know alot of guys come on here to complain, but I don't wanna be like that, I really want to improve myself and get better.
There's at least one woman in my life who I've loved that I wouldn't have gotten to love if I kept my options limited.
No, it is not settling, it is expanding your horizons.
Jenk hits a home run! And proves himself to be too mature for this forum!
...but I hope he sticks around, anyway.
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