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Aha! So--you have no strategy. No wonder you're not getting anywhere. Moving to a city with more women than men wouldn't help you.
You need to find some activities/clubs/hobby groups to join, that fit your interests, so see if anyone interesting turns up. Check out the schedule of activities and events offered by your local city Parks Dept.; they offer interesting classes, sometimes a theater group, martial arts for men & women, etc., and it's free. They also organize soccer and volleyball leagues, co-ed. Look into singles groups via Meetup, through your local hiking group, or your recreational equipment store. Attend travel seminars by whoever organizes them: a travel bookstore in town, or the recreational equipment store. Maybe attend events or do some volunteerwork in the Hispanic community (if there is one), or anywhere--an environmental group, or whatever interests you. Join a yoga class at the gym, or a Chi Gong class. If your city has a sister city in Latin America, check out the sister city committee. You might run into Anglo women who speak some Spanish. Volunteer for a film festival.
Brainstorm. Look at your local events calendar, and see if there's anything interesting. They list not only entertainment events, but classes, hobby group meetings, and so forth--regularly-scheduled events.
Consider taking a cooking class, to learn some new cuisine. Italian? Mexican? Vegan? Whatever.
It can be the same as in school; women all around, working on a project alongside you, or playing sports with you, or learning to cook with you, etc. All you have to do is chat them up. You can create your own opportunities, that way.
What I mean by a woman's market is a city where women don't have to put much effort into themselves in order to be considered a catch and have several dating prospects.
In the city where I live in South Texas, it is most definitely a women's market; most above average to average guys (not wealthy yet but atleast has ambition to get somewhere, not astonishingly good looking but at least in shape)have to lower their standards in order to get a girlfriend.
On the other hand any woman here that is at least above average(isn't overweight,isn't a single mom,takes good care of herself and is ambitious)has pretty much their pick of who they want to date. In contrast a guy of the same standard usually has to lower his standards and date a girl who doesn't take very good care of herself and lacks ambition etc.
Is this dynamic in dating pretty much the same everywhere? Or are there any places you know of where it is not so uneven, and a man doesn't have to feel like he has to settle?
I'm in my 20's if that helps in helping understand my perspective.
Smaller cities.
Louisville is one such city. Bunch of short pudgy pug nosed schlubs walking around with some hotties.
Larger cities basically also create metrosexual men which means that men are having to compete with each other harder than they would in a smaller city. You don't really see tons of metrosexual walking around Louisville or Cincinnati. Except in Cincinnati many men are quite good looking as well and fit the "Chad the slayer" stereotype.
I've heard and read that the San Antonio / Austin area is pretty good for men I would just branch out to central Texas and you should be good to go. Men do worse in general in small cities and hicktowns unless they snagged someone up in their early 20's and south Texas has a lot of hicktowns.
Well yes and no. Smaller cities mean you need more connections to meet people BUT you have a good in with transplants.
Honestly though the way I determine is whether the men are better looking than the women by comparison. Louisville for example seems to have a higher concentration of prettier girls OR the pretty girls just go out more. Obviously there is no way of telling this. What I have noticed about Louisville is that men there don't care to compete too heavily with each other for women and IMO this gives them an advantage.
All in all though experiences will vary. Maybe the reason you consider your city a woman's market is because you aren't attracted to the women there. This of course is personal preference. The way I see it though if you really are that unattracted to the women in your city, realistically ask yourself if moving will fix anything or if you have some personal issues you need to be fixed.
I understand that dynamic....but please answer the question I asked him: How would it sound if I said, 'This is the kind of boy I want to date...'
Keep in mind that people will probably put two and two together and figure out that I really mean 'guy' or 'man' and not literally a little 'boy'. I'm talking about the way it sounds.......it just sounds really stupid (and ignorant) coming from a 20s+ guy....and this is from the perspective of the demographic that these guys are trying to reach and connect with...
Height weight proportional. No doubt that in certain areas, just those few traits can be difficult to find, and if they're deal-breakers, it probably looks bleak. Certain locations just don't yield favorable matches depending on the demographics. There's nothing wrong with desiring those three traits, and since OP can't find women to meet his strong preferences, all other attributes may not even come into the picture.
If one happens to live in an area where most women married young and have children, it will be a challenge to find someone that fits their childless criteria.
My husband didn't have a great experience before moving back to the city. Most women were religious, coupled up or just not his type, at all. He expected this when he moved for work. There was of course better success when he moved away.
We all have our own definition of "top level." If a woman lists "tall, highly educated, fit" she's accused of dating up or being too picky. I can say one of my "top level" standards consisted of exclusively dating men who are atheist, agnostic, deist, pantheist, Buddhist, or Taoist. We also have to share worldviews and have a passion and love of learning. And be someone I find attractive. Those are just a few of my must-haves. My idea of "high caliber" may not look like most others', and that's just fine.
So after all this you admit your idea of high caliber isn't someone else's.
In other words you just contradicted all the posts you made to OP about how what he wants is hardly high caliber. Logic not even once.
So after all this you admit your idea of high caliber isn't someone else's.
In other words you just contradicted all the posts you made to OP about how what he wants is hardly high caliber. Logic not even once.
Try again. What you missed was that I expanded beyond a mere three unremarkable qualities that fail to narrow down possible matches. "Isn't a hot mess and not obese, etc."/ aren't what most consider "high caliber" by any standards. My stating that is to get the OP to expand on the traits he's looking for beyond what could be considered bare minimum.
He can have a preference or criteria beyond those few traits that can actually be used to narrow down his search. Like personality, character, values, interests, passions, life goals, sense of humor, education, career goals, the desire to marry and/or have children, worldviews, love language, etc. Those qualities and traits can be factored into what someone deems a quality match, not "I want someone that isn't a hot mess...."
When looking at the whole package, you know, substance/layers of chemistry and compatibility, people have their own criteria and preferences that they consider a quality match. It's not uncommon to get posters here complaining about their lack of success, and yet when asked what they're looking for, it's more about acquiring sex with a list of qualities a couple notches above "has a pulse," rather than a companion/relationship partner.
Introspection goes a long way. Like when the OP expounded on what he's looking forward later in the thread.
Well yes and no. Smaller cities mean you need more connections to meet people BUT you have a good in with transplants.
Honestly though the way I determine is whether the men are better looking than the women by comparison. Louisville for example seems to have a higher concentration of prettier girls OR the pretty girls just go out more. Obviously there is no way of telling this. What I have noticed about Louisville is that men there don't care to compete too heavily with each other for women and IMO this gives them an advantage.
All in all though experiences will vary. Maybe the reason you consider your city a woman's market is because you aren't attracted to the women there. This of course is personal preference. The way I see it though if you really are that unattracted to the women in your city, realistically ask yourself if moving will fix anything or if you have some personal issues you need to be fixed.
You must have never been to San Antonio... Of course some might disagree as it is a very socioeconomically segregated city. Let me give you a tour of my side of the city and I'm sure you will begin to understand.
You must have never been to San Antonio... Of course some might disagree as it is a very socioeconomically segregated city. Let me give you a tour of my side of the city and I'm sure you will begin to understand.
Whooooaaa... I love me some San Antonio! Boy... They have some Senoritas over there!! Yeah Op. if you are from Texas move there however, if you aren't successful where you already are, it could be bc of a lack of available single women, BUT it could also be something you are doing that would lead you to having problems anywhere you go. If that's your problem, then address those issues first. If its only a matter of availability...have fun in SA playa!!
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