Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Exactly. "I only date high caliber women, which is like three traits/qualities. You don't fit my three-traits criteria, so you're not a good catch."
Lol. As if there was even a chance I thought you were a good catch. I have strict criteria you absolutely don't meet. So, please, put a pin in that over inflated ego.
Single, somewhat fit, and not a heroin zombie sounds more like quiet desperation to me. For a 20-something looking for a 20-something, that's barely a smidge above "fogs a mirror". More like a BB gun than high caliber.
Is this dynamic in dating pretty much the same everywhere? Or are there any places you know of where it is not so uneven, and a man doesn't have to feel like he has to settle? I'm in my 20's if that helps in helping understand my perspective.
It has to do with the population of each gender.
Areas with many women usually mean that guys can usually get away with more hooking up, casual relationships, etc.. Currently the worst place for this is said to be Manhattan. When men are in the majority, it is the women who get to dictate what they will and won't put up with. The population of males vs females, plus the location in general, might define how casual sex is, how people pickup/find potential significant others, relationship dynamics, etc..
As with anything, one is just going to have to eventually settle. I think settling is scary for some, especially people with assets. If I were to divorce today, I'd have decent worth compared to most people in my area. I also have no kids and minimal baggage. I could likely find someone who is 30s-40s, in shape, wants to live an active lifestyle, with no kids. My biggest fear is that the woman would hide significant debt loads (credit card, student loan), or change after getting married. There are plenty of stories where as soon as the marriage is legit, the man or women puts on tons of weight and/or their libido goes way south. They change from being active to wanting to just be more of a homebody.
Anymore I'm of the mindset that if I'm ever single in the future, I don't think I could actually go through with a legal marriage. At that age (40s+), I just don't see any benefit given who I am and my situation. I likely wouldn't care if a woman had a kid or kids, but it would depend on their age and such. Hopefully my marriage doesn't end, and I won't have to deal with dating in the future.
My daughter is in her early 30s and she is a Nurse and makes good money.
So far, she's chosen dogs over men. The dogs love her no matter what. She tells me stories about the young men her age who lack ambition or professional competence and only want to date so they can get that one thing.
She doesn't have to be dependent on a man to live, so she is extremely picky. Good for her.
I think it's great that she can do fine on her own. I'm so glad that she became well educated.
Here's how you deal with today's dating market issues for men in cities like yours: Be awesome. Be exciting. Be outgoing and fun. Work out hard, eat right, and kill it at work. Do things that give you status in your community. The rest will fall into place.
My daughter is in her early 30s and she is a Nurse and makes good money.
So far, she's chosen dogs over men. The dogs love her no matter what. She tells me stories about the young men her age who lack ambition or professional competence and only want to date so they can get that one thing.
She doesn't have to be dependent on a man to live, so she is extremely picky. Good for her.
I think it's great that she can do fine on her own. I'm so glad that she became well educated.
Does your daughter think she will ever find someone if she is "extremely picky?" Does she care to find someone? Start a family? Etc.? I find the 30-somethings and under very interesting. I've known of or met so many who are all very different in their desires, wants, and actions when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships. For some I really feel for, as they have a strong desire to start a family but are having a hard time trying to find someone that can meet their standards (which may or may not be the issue).
Does your daughter think she will ever find someone if she is "extremely picky?" Does she care to find someone? Start a family? Etc.? I find the 30-somethings and under very interesting. I've known of or met so many who are all very different in their desires, wants, and actions when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships. For some I really feel for, as they have a strong desire to start a family but are having a hard time trying to find someone that can meet their standards (which may or may not be the issue).
She may not find anybody. I thinks she's OK with remaining free and single. That's her choice and her right.
My daughter is in her early 30s and she is a Nurse and makes good money.
So far, she's chosen dogs over men. The dogs love her no matter what. She tells me stories about the young men her age who lack ambition or professional competence and only want to date so they can get that one thing.
She doesn't have to be dependent on a man to live, so she is extremely picky. Good for her.
I think it's great that she can do fine on her own. I'm so glad that she became well educated.
ha I've joked about 30something professional women just going to bed with the dog instead of a man before.
In all seriousness imo this is an excellent allegory for the whole "successful woman can't find a man" spiel and why some men are a little leary of women at that stage in life. The cold hard truth is..they're quite often just too damn picky.
In the modern era there's simply not enough men to marry up with for all of the women that want to date and marry up. About half of doctors and lawyers are now women just as an example.
Not all men care about dating or marrying someone that's on the same level professionally as them so when men date or marry down that's even less men in the pool for all of those professional women.
I just laugh when women like her play the I can't find a man card and that men don't like smart women. I call that out as bs in a split second. At least your daughter kind of recognizes that it's her, not them, and she'll always have her dog to keep her warm.
Here's how you deal with today's dating market issues for men in cities like yours: Be awesome. Be exciting. Be outgoing and fun. Work out hard, eat right, and kill it at work. Do things that give you status in your community. The rest will fall into place.
Does being "awesome," "exciting" and "fun" include LARPing, going to DragonCon, waxing lyrical about the works of Aldous Huxley, ren faires, watching documentaries, hitting up the local comic book store, trivia night, visiting science museums, cosplaying, binge-watching Marvel/Netflix shows (excluding Iron Fist), WoW raids, movie nights, leveling up a Blood Elf, etc.?
Or are you referring to "cool" Instagram-y things like Ninja Warrior, Color Run, Spartan Race, CrossFit, strategic poses on mountain cliffs, mountain climbing, backpacking in the Netherlands, skydiving, dolphin training, spelunking into caves where carnivorous creatures await, bear wrestling, lion taming, volunteering at the local humane society?
I would think "outgoing" excludes all of those introverted types that may not live "exciting" lives by some standards. I guess those guys can just hope to find a match with a similar sense of fun and adventure.
Does being "awesome," "exciting" and "fun" include LARPing, going to DragonCon, waxing lyrical about the works of Aldous Huxley, ren faires, watching documentaries, hitting up the local comic book store, trivia night, visiting science museums, cosplaying, binge-watching Marvel/Netflix shows (excluding Iron Fist), WoW raids, movie nights, leveling up a Blood Elf, etc.?
Or are you referring to "cool" Instagram-y things like Ninja Warrior, Color Run, Spartan Race, CrossFit, strategic poses on mountain cliffs, mountain climbing, backpacking in the Netherlands, skydiving, dolphin training, spelunking into caves where carnivorous creatures await, bear wrestling, lion taming, volunteering at the local humane society?
I would think "outgoing" excludes all of those introverted types that may not live "exciting" lives by some standards. I guess those guys can just hope to find a match with a similar sense of fun and adventure.
I do not define my statement as one specific lifestyle. Being awesome, fun, and exciting is not exclusive to any specific set of activities nor does it mean that you have to instagram all of it. What it means is don't be a boring guy that does nothing with his life and still wonders why he can't find anyone to date him. This means being honest with yourself. Would you really want to date you? Is your life one that someone with similar interests would want to share with you?
So what I am "referring" to is doing things and living a life that brings you excitement, fun, happiness and make it one that someone of similar values would want to join in on. Have hobbies (sure some are generally considered "cooler" than others) that allow you to get out there and preferably hobbies you are good at and add value to your life.
By the way, documentaries, netflix binge wathcing and movie nights are straight up awesome. But if this all you do, you are failing the "be awesome" part of the equation.
Although I would say staying physically fit is indeed a big part of my equation and I would recommend it to everyone.
Exactly. "I only date high caliber women, which is like three traits/qualities. You don't fit my three-traits criteria, so you're not a good catch."
Lol. As if there was even a chance I thought you were a good catch. I have strict criteria you absolutely don't meet. So, please, put a pin in that over inflated ego.
Weird. It's like some women take offense when a guy has standards
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
