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Old 03-16-2008, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Under the SUNNY WARM SUN ....
14,938 posts, read 6,689,416 times
Reputation: 17355
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Danielle* View Post
And...artsyguy,,,YOU should be the one getting the numbers...That was always a rule of mine when I was 'looking'...

Yes!

I would be scared to death to give out any personal information about myself.
One way to handle these possibilties, if you have your cell phone on you, then make a separate catorgory/folder in your cell phone memory. When you meet someone who you might like to get to know further, you take your time punching in their number into your cell phone. While you are typing their number, many things might be going on in your head like second thoughts about this person? You can always delete and you are home safe.
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Old 03-17-2008, 02:42 AM
 
12,564 posts, read 11,016,037 times
Reputation: 7168
Our gay friend gave out his number like you have...he met the guy twice in a public place. The man followed him home...he also followed him to work and sat there for a few hours...I know because another friend of mine owns the establishment, where our gay friend worked.

I have observed some gay men to be flamboyant, outgoing, fun, but with a desire to make friends quickly....in that naive and trusting....they rush into things way to quickly....

Not saying everyone is a serial killer...but in dating I've had some really weird experiences...stalkers...forceful people....who didn't know how to take no for an answer.

Apparently your own inner soul is telling you this is wrong, due to the kind of people you've given your number to....otherwise, you wouldn't be posting this. If they are seedy, I'd ignore the phone calls....you can still make friends, just chose them wisely...remember, YOU choose them...they don't choose you, so use some reasonable caution...caution is always a good thing...

Your a mature adult...just be a little more wise and selective....if drinking loosens you up to the point that your judgement is not as sharp, then drink less when you go out...I'm not saying you shouldn't meet friends, just simply be a bit more cautious for your own good.

So, as I suggested before....meet people, sure...then meet them again and again at public places for a while, feel them out, and for certain, follow that God given instinct, which made you post this thread. Remember, you asked...therefore, something is out of sync...

Whenever I met someone in a public place...I'd wait until they left first...and watched where they went...why? Because I was followed home once...and luckily, I lost the man....I believe there is a time in our lives, where we are more trusting or want to be, and are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings at the cost of our own comfort zone and privacy....understand?

Creme
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Old 03-17-2008, 12:00 PM
 
3,127 posts, read 2,080,811 times
Reputation: 1955
Funny, I've given out and recieved lots of phone numbers, dated plenty, and had a few meaningful relationships. None of it nearing the apparent drama, narcissism, and creepiness that you seem to experience.

I'm not being mean, but babe, get out of the gay ghetto. The majority of us are normal acting guys that don't have any "gay" qualities other than we love other men. You don't have to revolve your life around gay clubs, gay friends, and gay everything. That's why you keep encountering all this stuff. It comes with the subculture. You keep saying "gay men play head games, and gay do this; gay men do that". No. Scene queens are like that If it frustrates you so much, get out of it.
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Old 03-17-2008, 02:30 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 32,274,709 times
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Thanks for your input. I've never been in a relationship before.

Are there more gays where you are located?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lior Arel View Post
Funny, I've given out and recieved lots of phone numbers, dated plenty, and had a few meaningful relationships. None of it nearing the apparent drama, narcissism, and creepiness that you seem to experience.

I'm not being mean, but babe, get out of the gay ghetto. The majority of us are normal acting guys that don't have any "gay" qualities other than we love other men. You don't have to revolve your life around gay clubs, gay friends, and gay everything. That's why you keep encountering all this stuff. It comes with the subculture. You keep saying "gay men play head games, and gay do this; gay men do that". No. Scene queens are like that If it frustrates you so much, get out of it.
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Old 03-17-2008, 02:38 PM
 
3,127 posts, read 2,080,811 times
Reputation: 1955
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Thanks for your input. I've never been in a relationship before. Are there more gays where you are located?

Truth is, in larger cities (even Tampa) there are many, many gay people that never set foot in a gay bar or go to a pride parade. You meet them through work or volunteer opportunities, your neighbors etc. There is typically A LOT less drama then the subculture oriented gays Not many "scene queens" do relationships because they're in the scene always waiting for the guy hotter than the one they are with to take an interest in them. Also, the cute young thing gets alot of attention from all the guys until something cuter and younger starts comin' around (I know..I was the cute young thing..lol).

Give it time and make sure you don't fall into the trap of having to surround yourself in the gay scene. My partner who passed whom I loved dearly I actually met while he was on leave from the AirForce and we literally bumped into each other at convenience store
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Old 03-17-2008, 04:32 PM
 
123 posts, read 191,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Any advice for me...lol.
sip, don't gulp. we get stupid when we get drunk
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Old 03-17-2008, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 6,148,467 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
i am. and they call from different numbers and different areas where it shows up "Unknown" on caller i.d. ur thoughts?
Change your phone number and don't give it out so freely again. Even though you're a guy, you still need to be careful.
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Old 03-17-2008, 08:48 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 32,274,709 times
Reputation: 6671
You make it seem like the gay people you know are perfect.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lior Arel View Post
Funny, I've given out and recieved lots of phone numbers, dated plenty, and had a few meaningful relationships. None of it nearing the apparent drama, narcissism, and creepiness that you seem to experience.

I'm not being mean, but babe, get out of the gay ghetto. The majority of us are normal acting guys that don't have any "gay" qualities other than we love other men. You don't have to revolve your life around gay clubs, gay friends, and gay everything. That's why you keep encountering all this stuff. It comes with the subculture. You keep saying "gay men play head games, and gay do this; gay men do that". No. Scene queens are like that If it frustrates you so much, get out of it.
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Old 03-17-2008, 08:49 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 32,274,709 times
Reputation: 6671
i don't think that is an issue. The two guys have stopped calling me a while ago. No biggie

Quote:
Originally Posted by RoaminRed View Post
Change your phone number and don't give it out so freely again. Even though you're a guy, you still need to be careful.
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Old 03-17-2008, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,225,654 times
Reputation: 22714
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
You make it seem like the gay people you know are perfect.
Ha, I don't have many gay connections, so that's a good chance to ask a question! There are two ways gay men are represented on TV shows - they either look like absolutely regular men (you can't tell they're gay at all) or they have these high-pitched voices, feminine gestures, etc... you know what I'm talking about. Is that how it is in real life? Are the latter the "women" in the relationships or the roles played are not fixed?

Even thought I've said I'm done with marriages, I think I'd love to marry a gay guy who's handy around the house, is good at decorating, etc. (I'd imagine most of those on HGTV ARE gay), and wants to stay in the closet in the society's eyes. Sounds like a good deal to me.
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