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I had a female friend whom lived with me for a year, and is a bit mentally ill. We were not sexual, although she did want to be sexual. Now she lives in another state and we communicate daily. I care a lot for her.
Now, my current girlfriend doesn't want me speaking to her at all. Is this right for her to ask of me?
I had a female friend whom lived with me for a year, and is a bit mentally ill. We were not sexual, although she did want to be sexual. Now she lives in another state and we communicate daily. I care a lot for her.
Now, my current girlfriend doesn't want me speaking to her at all. Is this right for her to ask of me?
Why would you care if it is right or wrong?
I it doesn't matter one iota if it is right or wrong.
What matters, is that your GF has an issue with it.
Nothing good can come from arguing with you GF about whether it is right or wrong.
You can either
1) accept it - and be unhappy
2) not accept it - and she'll be unhappy
or, do the really hard thing and explore her psychology and the status of your relationship and come to a mutual conclusion of what is best.
How long have you been dating your GF? How long are your daily conversations? How does your GF know you talk to her daily?
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I think she is being unreasonable, that's your friend.
She may not be your GF for too long though.
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My take on this is, if your girlfriend gets upset over talking to a long distance friend that you’ve known longer than her, then she’s very insecure. You could break things off with your friend, but I would bet money your girlfriend would find something else to be insecure about.
You have to decide who is more important to you and if you are going to be willing to make changes based on your girlfriend’s insecurities.
In your shoes, if I decided my friend had priority, I would say that my friend has been my friend longer than you’ve been in my life. I’m not throwing away friends because of your insecurities. Tell me what it is about my friendship that really bothers you and I will listen and do what I can to make you feel better. But I draw the line at getting rid of a friend.
Then let your girlfriend decide what she wants to do. Keep in mind, you might lose her.
You need to evaulate who you care for the most, and proceed accordingly.
Indeed. I understand how the girlfriend feels, but I also understand you, especially if you have only been dating for three months.
Do you think the girlfriend would soon "disallow" you from seeing other female friends as well, if you gave in on this one?
I think it is wrong and immature to give ultimatums this way -- that is, IF she didn't try to address it another way. Did she just outright give the ultimatum or did you ignore her when she wanted to talk to you before?
Indeed. I understand how the girlfriend feels, but I also understand you, especially if you have only been dating for three months.
Do you think the girlfriend would soon "disallow" you from seeing other female friends as well, if you gave in on this one?
I think it is wrong and immature to give ultimatums this way -- that is, IF she didn't try to address it another way. Did she just outright give the ultimatum or did you ignore her when she wanted to talk to you before?
I never ignore my girlfriend, I listen to her concerns. To be fair, my old friend has jealousy issues that I think stem from her mental illness, and it has caused some turbulence in my current relationship with my girlfriend.
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