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I mean, you guys all yap on and on about not finding anyone, yet you sit here and discuss this kind of nonsense. If you realize that you love someone, you simply say it. You don't play games. You simply summon up the nerve.
Of course, you don't say it two weeks in, for then you look like some kind of desperate stalker. But after several months? It's totally okay. And will, more often than not, be welcome. And if you're really talking about who has the power in a relationship, then you don't really understand relationships at all. This isn't chess.
Courage is the foundation of all happiness. If you can't summon the basic nerve to say I Love You to someone without worrying about reciprocity or whatever else, then you're not going to have love in your life.
I'm done with that kind of relationship, but I once told a guy that I loved him with no expectations of it being returned, and he didn't return the sentiment for six months. So I dumped him.
The thing was, he DID love me. When I broke up with him, he started to kind of hyperventilate and then thought he was going to throw up. I was shocked because I had taken him at his word when he'd said he didn't feel that way about me. It was so childish. For him, it was all about maintaining the power in the relationship. He was literally gaslighting me about whether he loved me or not, when he did in fact love me. Who does that? It's probably the stupidest thing I ever witnessed in a relationship. It was kind of a messy drawn-out break-up in the end, but his initial reaction to it stuck with me and eventually just left me disgusted with him. He was a very controlling guy, and I'm well rid of him.
Courage is the foundation of all happiness. If you can't summon the basic nerve to say I Love You to someone without worrying about reciprocity or whatever else, then you're not going to have love in your life.
Well said! If you've had love in your life, you know this to be true.
Why set an arbitrary time limit on such a personal thing? Personally, I don't remember who said it first but then again that was 41 years ago and I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. Seriously though why would you not say it and risk damaging a potential long term relationship? Is it some kind of ego thing?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
HOw often did that happen to you?
I'm irrevalant. This has been recurring advice from my male peers who have had it happen to them.
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