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Love can be pretty powerful. It is the most basic human emotion that everyone is capable of. Some people say "you just know" when you've met that person meant to be in your life. It is described as a soul-consuming, all-encompassing, takes-your-breath-away kind of feeling by those who know it.
My mother always used to say 'she'll love him 'til the money runs out.'
It's called falling in love because falling is dangerous and no-one does it on purpose. Why so many people champion a temporary, hormone fuelled insanity that flies in the face of logic and reason I'll never know.
There are number of ways you can understand that your boyfriend is in true love with you. Same thing will go for your girlfriend. I have been checking helpwithmen lately and I really liked these 7 tips for finding out the true love, here are these 7 tips:
1: He initiates Conversations
2: He goes out of his Way for you
3: You sense a little Jealousy when you’re with other Guys
4: The Guy in Question acts differently when you’re around
I very much like the Van Halen song mentioned earlier. In the context of this thread, I realize it says very little about what love is, but "it lasts forever" is close to the truth. If feelings fade quickly, it wasn't love.
How about you? How would you describe what true love feels like? Let me know in this thread!
I can live with your list, OP.
I think I also would add two things:
a) You WANT them to be happy. Maybe that falls under your #1, but I think that if you are in love with someone, you want them to succeed and to be happy. You certainly aren't in competition with them.
b) You know you love someone when you find that they are the first person you want to share news with, good OR bad. They matter so much to you that the experiences you have mean even more when you can share them with that person.
Awww, now I'm getting all mushy in the middle of the day!!
I have felt the beginnings of these things for a few people in my history. To me, the important part (maybe the one that differentiates TRUE love or makes it truly rare or special) is when you feel it, and they also feel it, and you're able to go forward together in it.
I used to say that my biggest ongoing problem, from the time I became sexually and romantically active to now, was the issue of mismatched levels of love, passion, interest, whatever you want to call it. When one person is really feelin' it and the other is not. I have had partners where we had very warm and affectionate feelings for one another, but not the intense blaze of passionate love. Some I have compared to a golden afternoon in a field of wildflowers...but the thing I would call "True Love" (or at least the beginnings of it) is more like a bonfire followed by a rollercoaster. And THAT...most of the time, one person was starting to feel it, the other wasn't, and the mismatch ruined the relationship, one way or another.
But finally I did find someone and when the bonfire blazed up I found to my surprise and joy that he was feeling the same, so we both had the OK to proceed into deeper bonding.
We are more together than we were apart.
Just thinking about his laugh makes me smile.
Experiencing him with my senses in any way is nearly addictive. I could look at him for hours. I love the way he smells.
He makes me feel both hungry and satisfied, all at the same time, just being around him.
I want to make his life happier, I want to love and comfort him if he sorrows, I want to put my energy into his goals and priorities, I want to please him in ways big and small.
And yes, everything is better when I get to share it with him.
The way you feel or how you feel towards love may change as you do as an indivual, but love is love regardless. It's always "true" as long as you are feeling it.
The only thing that changes what love is "to you" is you.
Things are far more nuanced than "real" or "fake"
Someone may love you to death, but it may not be in a way you appreciate and thus do not see as your ideal or what shows a representation of what love is.
With this in mind, I cannot tell another what their own "true love" entails. I can only say that basing love around certain basic fundamentals will yield positive rewarding results over negative flat ones.
Personally for me love is just an emotion. It's how someone chooses to cultivate and protect that emotion that defines whether or not they are "true" to who they claim they are or what they claim their love to be.
I would define a "worthy love" as an emotional attachment complimented by open and honest intentions.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-03-2017 at 01:46 PM..
Love can be pretty powerful. It is the most basic human emotion that everyone is capable of. Some people say "you just know" when you've met that person meant to be in your life. It is described as a soul-consuming, all-encompassing, takes-your-breath-away kind of feeling by those who know it.
Others say that the butterflies in their stomach flutter whenever their loved one is near. While most people don't believe in fanciful feelings like this, those who have encountered true love do.
So, how do you know it’s true love? For me, it’s:
1. Their happiness is yours - You do little things for your partner like sending them their favorite food at work, giving them a massage after a long day, or simply fixing them a cup of their favorite beverage for no reason at all. You do things that please them for their sake without being told to or whatnot because it simply makes them happy.
2. You always notice the little things – You pay more attention to the little details in your partner including his habits, preferences and food choices. Chances are, before your current partner, you never noticed these things. This is related to the first one, but you know how to make your partner’s coffee exactly the way they want it, or how they want their eggs in the morning.
3. Being with them feels like coming home – You feel more at ease in their presence than anywhere in the world without them. Their effect on you feels like a warm hug which reassures you and comforts you like no other.
4. You don’t desire other people - You still feel attraction for other people, but you don’t necessarily desire them. Yes, other people are beautiful/handsome but you don’t want them because you have someone you truly value.
5. You resolve conflicts right away – You both know you are adults, and you’re done playing with games. In past relationships, issues may take a few days before it is resolved. But it’s true love when you both can’t stand going to bed at night when there’s something wrong going on between the two of you.
How about you? How would you describe what true love feels like? Let me know in this thread!
A lot of ^^^this also falls under lust, imo. Sometimes we think we're in love but it's actually lust. The newness, the excitement, especially when it's "taboo", can sometimes make us think we're in love.
As far as love being an emotion that everyone is capable of, I have to disagree with that. Not everyone is capable otherwise we would live in a far better world.
A lot of ^^^this also falls under lust, imo. Sometimes we think we're in love but it's actually lust. The newness, the excitement, especially when it's "taboo", can sometimes make us think we're in love.
As far as love being an emotion that everyone is capable of, I have to disagree with that. Not everyone is capable otherwise we would live in a far better world.
This is pretty much why I said what I said.
What is the difference between "true love" and "only lust?" In polyamory groups they call it "NRE" or "New Relationship Energy" (and talk about it A LOT.)
I guess you could say if it's just lust it will go away, eventually, but "true love" will endure. I don't know. I think that lust is what you call it when you feel the beginnings of big feelings for someone...but then it doesn't work out (usually because they don't feel that way) and the whole thing flops. You never get the chance to see if it was "true love" or not.
Actually I don't like the usage of the word lust here, that just implies you want to have sex with someone. Rather, infatuation. Whatever it is in its infancy when you're not sure if there is a viable relationship yet, but you're REALLY FREAKING EXCITED about it.
I always wanted the freedom to love others, to be clear that they didn't have to love me back, and with it meaning nothing along the lines of needing to escalate our relationship (move in together, build family, combine lives, etc.) Like I have felt love for FWB/FB's before. It didn't need to make things weird. It only meant that I thought they were fantastic and I enjoyed what we had very much. It was an affectionate feeling...but it was not the sort of love I later grew for someone once I felt like I had "permission" to love him (because he loved me back and he wasn't gonna freak out.) I've explored a lot of kinds of love with a number of people. It's interesting what it can be like when you take all of the assumptions and expectations out of it.
But I've always been annoyed with the dismissal of early loving feelings as "just" anything (lust, infatuation, whatever.) I was feeling them, they were the feelings I felt. So they did not lead down the path of Happily Ever After...so what? I've never believed that you can only love one person at a time, or that love was a scarce resource, or that sharing it lessened or cheapened it either. So while I am wild about the man I now live with, and I'm more bonded to him than I've ever felt to anyone, I still harbor loving feelings for plenty of people I know, or those in my past.
Love doesn't mean you HAVE to DO something, or anything.
But is it TRUE love? Well, certainly the love I feel for my man is his alone, and it is different from how I feel about others that I love. Really, I'm not sure I feel precisely the same thing for any two people I've ever loved, since no two were ever alike.
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That only indicates interest. (Except #2, maybe.)
