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Old 10-04-2017, 11:31 AM
 
921 posts, read 523,067 times
Reputation: 1890

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol View Post
I'm just curious why so many people liked someone enough to date them, maybe love them, and then decide they want them completely out of their life.

It speaks to me that that person doesn't make good choices in partners.

LOL!!! I was married to a woman for nearly 20 years, then she had an affair with a high school kid for over a year. Does that mean I didn't make a good choice? lol

One I dated stayed "just friends" with ex. Ended up being more than just friends. She just won't let him go.

Tried to stay friends with an ex, and when I didn't text her back after a couple days(I was very busy) she got pissed that I didn't respond so soon. I could tell she still has feelings. So I don't talk to her anymore cause she is hanging on.

Most time in a break-up, someone has unresolved feelings/issues and/or wants to get back together. Simply cause they loved that person and miss that feeling.

Can't move on if ya don't let go. It's a fact.
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Old 10-04-2017, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,919,286 times
Reputation: 3074
Generally, I have no interest in being friends with them. The term friend, could have a very broad meaning.

I wouldn't mind being on friendly terms with my ex from my first serious relationship. We were together for 5 years, and we seemed to be fine when things ended. Early on, we would talk once in a while. We really don't anymore. I feel like she has no interest in speaking to me, which is fine. I'd be interested in talking to her once in a while. As far as hanging out goes, I don't have any interest in that. If I saw her somewhere, I'd stop and talk for a few minutes. We live a thousand miles away, so there's little chance that I'd bump into her.
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Old 10-04-2017, 12:59 PM
 
Location: I can be anywhere...
127 posts, read 90,188 times
Reputation: 122
It depends on the ex. Some exes can get along just fine, and others don't.
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:23 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,324,093 times
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Actually, I'm still friends with one ex- gf. Unfortunately, she's battling cancer at this time and I'm giving all the moral support that I can.
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:26 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,703 posts, read 19,860,325 times
Reputation: 43015
Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol View Post
You're right.
I'm surely not.
So, why waste time bringing that up?

I'm just curious why so many people liked someone enough to date them, maybe love them, and then decide they want them completely out of their life.

It speaks to me that that person doesn't make good choices in partners.
only if they end up hating each other and even then I would not totally agree.


how about giving a new love interest a chance without the ex lingering around? Isn't that a very valid reason?


I would want to be friends with all exes, there was a reason why I fell in love with them and they would still be good friends. However, I want a partner again and therefore I find it totally inapropriate.
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:34 PM
 
921 posts, read 523,067 times
Reputation: 1890
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post

how about giving a new love interest a chance without the ex lingering around? Isn't that a very valid reason?


I would want to be friends with all exes, there was a reason why I fell in love with them and they would still be good friends. However, I want a partner again and therefore I find it totally inapropriate.
Very well put! I agree 100%

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Old 10-04-2017, 02:14 PM
 
Location: NNJ
15,049 posts, read 10,026,725 times
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I'm friends with all but one of my Ex's. They are considered very close friends of mine.
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Old 10-04-2017, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,919,286 times
Reputation: 3074
What exactly does being friends mean, though?

Like hanging out and seeing each other regularly? Or just keeping in contact and saying hello once in a while by phone or text/talking for a few minutes if you run into each other somewhere?
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Old 10-04-2017, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,273,021 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
only if they end up hating each other and even then I would not totally agree.


how about giving a new love interest a chance without the ex lingering around? Isn't that a very valid reason?


I would want to be friends with all exes, there was a reason why I fell in love with them and they would still be good friends. However, I want a partner again and therefore I find it totally inapropriate.
Smart woman that understands the dynamics of relationships

Dating and relationships are so much easier when there isn't ex lovers orbiting around their relatioship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves View Post
What exactly does being friends mean, though?

Like hanging out and seeing each other regularly? Or just keeping in contact and saying hello once in a while by phone or text/talking for a few minutes if you run into each other somewhere?
I gather, that's what most people consider being "still friends" with ex's. Again, IMO, sending a Facebook message to an ex once a year or two isn't being a friend; thats past memories of their relationship reaching out.
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Old 10-04-2017, 03:50 PM
 
Location: San Diego, USA
22 posts, read 12,453 times
Reputation: 29
When people were married for several years and have children, it is hard not to communicate at all. But if the relationships ended bad, I don't think there is a necessity to keep being friends with ex.
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