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I never said I was scared to use the phone. Don't put words in my mouth.
After reading thru this thread.. It's rather obvious that young adults of today are uncomfortable yakking on the phone ( unless business related) . BUT All I can tell you is ( I'm Older so find texting rather impersonal) Impersonal test can be interpreted by receiver DEPENDS other frame of mind of the time.
Meanwhile when actually communicating verbally face to face OR on the phone.. one can get the intonations and sense sincerity and sense of humour or even feel an essence of that person. OF COURSE there's those that can talk the talk.. but are insincere yet texting gives you Zero ability to make an informed impression.
How did us OLDER folks ever navigate friendships and relationships with others before Texting???
I recall back over 55 years ago, I nervous about calling some male friend .. held my breath and CALLED!! It turned out great.. and boy did I ever appreciate that experience!! I actually went to the basement to use my dad's business phone ( this was long before call waiting/call display) so even back all those years ago.. I still wanted privacy as my mom upstairs didn't even know I was down there
BTW~~ That young man turned out to be my FIRST "Steady Boyfriend"
After reading thru this thread.. It's rather obvious that young adults of today are uncomfortable yakking on the phone ( unless business related) . BUT All I can tell you is ( I'm Older so find texting rather impersonal) Impersonal test can be interpreted by receiver DEPENDS other frame of mind of the time.
Meanwhile when actually communicating verbally face to face OR on the phone.. one can get the intonations and sense sincerity and sense of humour or even feel an essence of that person. OF COURSE there's those that can talk the talk.. but are insincere yet texting gives you Zero ability to make an informed impression.
How did us OLDER folks ever navigate friendships and relationships with others before Texting???
I recall back over 55 years ago, I nervous about calling some male friend .. held my breath and CALLED!! It turned out great.. and boy did I ever appreciate that experience!! I actually went to the basement to use my dad's business phone ( this was long before call waiting/call display) so even back all those years ago.. I still wanted privacy as my mom upstairs didn't even know I was down there
BTW~~ That young man turned out to be my FIRST "Steady Boyfriend"
I'm not in your age range but excellent post! Rep for you, as well.
Everybody is different so I think it would be wise to find out what the other person's preference is when you first exchange phone numbers. Personally, when I give my phone number to a guy I tell them I prefer they text me first to see if it's a good time to call or not.
But OP since you've already texted her, I wouldn't call at this point. The ball is in her court. She really should have suggested a better time the last time she replied to you. Since she didn't, it doesn't sound like she's all that interested in getting together. If you don't want to leave the ball in her court, then just text her to let you know if and when a good time would be and let it go at that. Good luck.
After reading thru this thread.. It's rather obvious that young adults of today are uncomfortable yakking on the phone ( unless business related) . BUT All I can tell you is ( I'm Older so find texting rather impersonal) Impersonal test can be interpreted by receiver DEPENDS other frame of mind of the time.
Meanwhile when actually communicating verbally face to face OR on the phone.. one can get the intonations and sense sincerity and sense of humour or even feel an essence of that person. OF COURSE there's those that can talk the talk.. but are insincere yet texting gives you Zero ability to make an informed impression.
How did us OLDER folks ever navigate friendships and relationships with others before Texting???
I recall back over 55 years ago, I nervous about calling some male friend .. held my breath and CALLED!! It turned out great.. and boy did I ever appreciate that experience!! I actually went to the basement to use my dad's business phone ( this was long before call waiting/call display) so even back all those years ago.. I still wanted privacy as my mom upstairs didn't even know I was down there
BTW~~ That young man turned out to be my FIRST "Steady Boyfriend"
That's great, but you definitely can make an impression with texting and other apps like Snapchat. A common practice is to set up informal coffee dates via texting to get to know the person face to face. We can do that all without calling now. I matched with a boy on an app, we texted on it, and made plans to hang out all without calling. And, we ended up dating for over 2 years.
My main point is that it's pointless to look down on the younger generation for moving away from calling. What we do works for us.
No offense but I'm not going to answer that as it won't give you any useful info based on your question. lol
I will say this, when I was doing OLD the first thing I would do is get their number and shoot off a text, but only to verify that they gave me accurate information. Once I had that confirmed, then I'd ask when I can call for a quick chat (I plan for 5-10 minutes only, if we connect and talk longer, great, if not, no big deal, it's just 5 minutes) because it's easier to gauge their level of interest by hearing their voice. There's all sorts of subtle clues you can pick up on when you *listen* to what someone else is saying to you and you can get at least an initial feel for them and see if you even want to continue trying to pursue anything with that person. If you can't even get someone to have a brief phone conversation, then often trying to get them into an actual date tends to be more effort than it's worth in the long run. After that first call to touch base and basically "see what's up" then I'm good with texting going forward. ETA: Unless she insists on being on the phone, then I'll suffer through it...for a while - those after work venting calls can be a killer! lol
Face-to-face meets, none of that applies. I'd already have an idea for the woman since I've already met her, so I'm good just texting from that point on. Unless you're family, or incredibly interesting, I have no interest in spending a lot of time on the phone talking to you. (Generic you's of course.)
That's great, but you definitely can make an impression with texting and other apps like Snapchat. A common practice is to set up informal coffee dates via texting to get to know the person face to face. We can do that all without calling now. I matched with a boy on an app, we texted on it, and made plans to hang out all without calling. And, we ended up dating for over 2 years.
That's also a good point. One of my buddy's younger sister is always telling me about 'app-this' and 'app-that' when I see her. Love her dearly and I'm attentive to what she says but I'm also quirky in that I just don't pay that much attention to my phone or what it can do. But that's just me. If I never have to upgrade this pos going forward I'll be happy. But I digress, sorry op!
ETA: Going to stop talking about generations and phone/texts now. Op is trying to get advice and I have none to give. Good luck, op, hope you hear from her!
Last edited by Foggy HalfNelson; 10-06-2017 at 06:27 PM..
I know people of all age ranges and they all text and/or do phone calls. I would NEVER meet someone without an initial phone call but given your situation, she's being a flake. I talk to people all day but I still need to hear someone's voice. I've had men tell me they like the sound of my voice (it's sultry/sexy according to them). Sometimes it's soothing or relaxing. Texts sometimes get taken out of context because there's no emotion behind it.
I'm concerned she could meet another guy or forget who I am.
Too many guys act like this, and it's really not healthy. This type of behavior is what leads to guys feeling like they always have to be on the phone or texting with a girl, because they're afraid she'll forget them. I used to be like this, too.
The bottom line is that, if she forgets about you, she really didn't like you that much in the first place.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
You could text her one last time, but Id wait for her response. If you hear nothing by days end, Id move on. You'll get a lot of people who are flaky in the dating world.
Yeah, I was always quite annoyed by this type of flakiness. I'm more than fine with rejection right off the bat. I'd much prefer rejection right off the bat, to this kind of stuff or even a first date that never turns into a second one. Any time I've been rejected right away, I've taken solace in the fact that at least there would be 0 chance of getting flaked out by that person or ghosting, etc.
Update: she texted me back saying she shes not free tonight or this weekend because she has family visiting. I'm not sure if I should call or text her back. Or if I should wait until monday to contact her. To the people asking her age shes 23. And she said in her bio that shes not into random hookups.
It is only polite for her to give you a date and time she IS available at this point.
Kick her to the curb.
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I actually went to the basement to use my dad's business phone ( this was long before call waiting/call display) so even back all those years ago.. I still wanted privacy as my mom upstairs didn't even know I was down there 
