U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 10-07-2017, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Sacramento , ca
24 posts, read 10,808 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Ive been knowing about this since day one and most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough?

 
Old 10-07-2017, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,627 posts, read 4,633,030 times
Reputation: 6732
Hes TWENTY FIVE- MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

ETA: cheaters are ALWAYS found out.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 01:43 PM
 
Location: on the wind
4,104 posts, read 1,535,580 times
Reputation: 14669
Your son is an adult. If he's managed to stay with this gf for 9 years he either already knows something, will probably figure it out or already has suspicions. I would leave it alone unless he specifically asks you about it. It is too easy for intentions to be misinterpreted.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,005 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73583
I would ask her about it in front of him.

Christ almighty, y'all, for real??? Stay out of it? In these situations, I ask myself, "What would I want them to do for me if the roles were reversed."

If it were me, I sure would hope my mom - or anyone - would say something.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 01:48 PM
 
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 377,759 times
Reputation: 1503
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOULLESSBEING View Post
Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Ive been knowing about this since day one and most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough?
Omg...you should've told your son about this the SECOND you found out about it. But since you didn't, if he finds out that you've known all this time about his GF cheating on him, he'll probably be very pissed at you and may even disown you for a while.

Why would you (and how could you) let a deceitful cheater 'convince you' to NOT tell your son about this? Who's side are you actually on?

I realize some people think that they shouldn't get involved in other people's love lives - but um, this is your SON we're talking about here. I would hope to God that if my mom or dad KNEW that my BF was cheating on me, that they would tell me immediately!
 
Old 10-07-2017, 02:13 PM
 
971 posts, read 274,991 times
Reputation: 1245
What will you tell your son when he asks you “why did you wait 5 years to tell me?”.
Unless I was a 25y/o cheating on my cheating gf, I’d feel like I couldn’t trust you for a while.
Damn, you’re his mother and you did that, you didn’t even mention feeling guilty.
Are you afraid of confrontations?
 
Old 10-07-2017, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Lebanon, OH
5,681 posts, read 5,882,145 times
Reputation: 12037
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOULLESSBEING View Post
Both she and my son are 25 and have been together for just over 9 years.I received an e-mail from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 years with his BFF. I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything . Ive been knowing about this since day one and most of the time it happens it when hes out of town town or at work. I know that she cheated on him last night. I have NO idea how to handle this. Hey Parents out there as a Mom ,should I say anything to my son or just let it work itself out and he will figure it out soon enough?
Nice first post.

Chances are that they are swingers in an open relationship or she is cuckolding him and making him watch on facetime.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 02:24 PM
 
Location: 49th parallel
2,110 posts, read 1,058,674 times
Reputation: 4365
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOULLESSBEING View Post
I talked with her about it and She convinced me and his sister to not say anything .
The time to "stay out of it" was what I've quoted above from your summary. Well, that's past now and you're in a right mess now. You have both "stayed out of it" (when you didn't tell your son right away) and "meddled" (when you talked to the woman and agreed not to say anything).

Quite frankly, it's going to be bad no matter what you do. He'll find out eventually and then it'll come out that you knew all the time. Then you'll be in plenty of trouble. Or you can tell him about it and he'll be plenty mad also at you for sticking your nose in. So I think you'd better put your armor on because there's going to be blood.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 02:51 PM
Status: "...but I call you 'Stormy', today.'" (set 7 days ago)
 
1,531 posts, read 755,470 times
Reputation: 3854
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I would ask her about it in front of him.

Christ almighty, y'all, for real??? Stay out of it? In these situations, I ask myself, "What would I want them to do for me if the roles were reversed."

If it were me, I sure would hope my mom - or anyone - would say something.
People with that attitude are usually the type who will put up with anything, for various reasons--fear of being alone, fear of the confrontation, 'love'.

As his mother I think you should tell him--at the very least think about what you'd want him to do if you were in his shoes. Would you want him to tell you, or sit there at the Thanksgiving table as if all is fine and dandy?

If he chooses to stay with her after all is revealed, then that's on him--but look out for the ones you love, as opposed to letting those who DON'T love them take full advantage.
 
Old 10-07-2017, 02:52 PM
Status: "...but I call you 'Stormy', today.'" (set 7 days ago)
 
1,531 posts, read 755,470 times
Reputation: 3854
Quote:
Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17 View Post
Omg...you should've told your son about this the SECOND you found out about it. But since you didn't, if he finds out that you've known all this time about his GF cheating on him, he'll probably be very pissed at you and may even disown you for a while.

Why would you (and how could you) let a deceitful cheater 'convince you' to NOT tell your son about this? Who's side are you actually on?

I realize some people think that they shouldn't get involved in other people's love lives - but um, this is your SON we're talking about here. I would hope to God that if my mom or dad KNEW that my BF was cheating on me, that they would tell me immediately!
Well said.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top