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The only way it could possibly happen is if you left your job (or he left his). But while he's your supervisor, absolutely positively NO. It won't end well for you or him (your company almost certainly has a policy against supervisors dating their employees- he knows the policy even if you don't) and your coworkers will not take too kindly to it either. It's a hard no. Under no circumstances is it OK for you to date your boss while you're still working for him. Enjoy the unspoken mutual attraction at work; and if circumstances change and you're no longer supervised by him (preferably no longer working with him at all), then go for it.
Nothing you really said makes me think he's into you. He just sounds like a good, friendly, manager who is looking out for his people. All you've talked about with him is work and work related stuff. The rest is assumption on your part. Don't do anything to make a fool out of yourself or lose your job. Like Ruth4Truth said, if you leave, ask him out afterwards or give him your contact info. But for now, I would put him off limits.
The funny thing, your story reminds me of one of my first jobs. My manager was also very good looking, friendly, etc, etc... The way you are describing things is exactly like him that I could almost picture him as your manager. A lot of women in the office fawned over him. What makes it funny? They didn't know he was gay.
Last edited by BellaLind; 10-11-2017 at 09:06 AM..
Well, OP, you've gotten a lot of good advice, although most of it is rather singular and some of it somewhat smarmy. Affairs of the heart are rarely as black-and-white as most of the posters are insinuating here, though. First, yes, from what you describe, he could very well be into you. Of course, from an outside observer, you could be seeing what you want to see.
Now, it's been stated that this would be unethical on your part. It may or may not be. Everywhere I've ever worked it's been forbidden for management to date subordinates. Ipso facto, it becomes the same as subordinates not being able to date management, but that reverse is not always defined by company policy. Hence, I've never seen a subordinate employee reprimanded in these situations, but the manager certainly is. Most places I've worked, though, tend to retain both employees while transferring one. Your company may be more hard-lined, and the manager could certainly lose his job. In this respect, I might argue that it is an immoral choice for you to jeopardize his job, although not necessarily unethical. Unless of course your company has a straight no-fraternization policy for all employees. In which case, yeah, unethical.
For your boss, though, it's clearly unethical, as well as carrying potential legal ramifications were you to accuse him of harassment. As such, even if he is into you, it's unlikely that he'll ask you out for fear of losing his job/being sued. So, if you genuinely want this to happen, you'd have to make the first move.
There's a lot of potential ramifications for such a relationship. I don't think you know him well enough at this point to know if this is nothing more than infatuation/lust. It would be a tragic shame if you two began a fling, only to find out you don't like him that much two weeks after he gets fired. As such, I'd probably stay the course for now, doing your best to learn as much about him as possible while maybe searching around for other job opportunities if the feelings continue/seem to be reciprocated. Contrary to a lot of posters here, lots of relationships start at work, and they're not always cautionary tales as my 12-year marriage can attest to. (Granted, neither my wife nor I were in supervisory roles over each other.)
You should tread lightly, OP, but that doesn't mean there aren't options.
Don't worry, OP, go for it. These days the worst that will happen if you get caught is that you blame it all on him. He'll get fired, you'll hire Gloria Allred and probably end up with a new condo.
Hmmph - hasn't worked out that way yet with the TRumpster...
Thanks all, for the engaging post replies. I'd just like to add a few things. I'm not in a full time office working position. I do consulting work, so I mostly interact with my clients and do remote work more than actually spending time with my coworkers. I attend meetings and other company requirements when necessary. I report to my boss regularly. I'm also currently employed by two other companies, so this job is not the be all end all of my existence. Also, I'm not a rookie trying to "sleep my way to the top." I have many years of experience in my field and my work was already praised and acknowledged by my coworkers before I started getting touchy feels with my boss. I am confident to perform well in my work whether or not I'm dating anyone in my office. I know I can also find another company that will hire me immediately if I lose this job. Our company policy does not prohibit dating between coworkers, but it is not encouraged. That being said, I do worry that it would still risk my boss losing his job if people were to find out. I'm not trying to make him lose his job, and I'm not even trying to make something crazy happen. Obviously, I'm old enough to know what's wrong about the typical scenarios that you all mentioned. I just think my situation is a bit different because like I've mentioned, he is a "superior" but I still do my independent work at a company that doesn't strictly prohibit dating. I am infatuated with not only his physical appearance but his work ethic and personality as well, so I just wanted to know if the attraction is mutual and how I can get to know him better. Like some of you said, it could be just an infatuation so it would be helpful to find out more about him. But Our office is very formal so there are no happy hours or office parties or things like that and I don't want to come across as too eager or unprofessional.
What is a good way to create a situation for more casual/personal conversation?
I can feel more preferential treatment (even for my competency level of work) and attention from him these days, making my gut feelings stronger that he may be into me as well.
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