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I responded to a post where you called my name out in
Yes, but that was in a broader context I was covering in a series of posts, which was consistent with what I've posted to you before, in other threads.
Yes, but that was in a broader context I was covering in a series of posts, which was consistent with what I've posted to you before, in other threads.
You also are the only women in here with this mindset..the others are saying you should only approach women in your league so maybe you're the outlier not the norm with your thinking.
Don't approach strangers who will immediately assess you on outward appearance.
Get into groups or go to places where conversation happens naturally, and do this regularly until you form a social circle of men and women around things you are interested in. Have fun. Be yourself. Try new things. One day you will discover that people like you, and you will know why. And on another day you will realize one of your female acquaintances is showing interest, and you can ask her out.
It takes time, but you need to be comfortable in your skin before anything will happen for you.
This. This is how it's done. This goes for you, too, JBT.
You also are the only women in here with this mindset..the others are saying you should only approach women in your league so maybe you're the outlier not the norm with your thinking.
You shouldn't ONLY approach women in your league. I don't even believe in leagues. I believe there is an element to attraction that is very mysterious and unpredictable.
However ...
The thing that is absolutely true about seeking out dates is that you MUST have an accurate grasp of your own appearance.
Many people think they are more attractive than they are. It's easy to do. What people don't understand is that MANY factors make us attractive. Not JUST appearance. If you're ugly and you walk around subconsciously broadcasting that to others, you'll never stand a chance.
Women might not technically approach usually but they quite often show signs that they want you to talk to them. If you're too scared to, that's on you.
Women don't want approached just because you think they're hot for the most part. Now if you want to make a case some women are bad at flirting and looking approachable that would be a different discussion and is valid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
You shouldn't ONLY approach women in your league. I don't even believe in leagues. I believe there is an element to attraction that is very mysterious and unpredictable.
However ...
What people don't understand is that MANY factors make us attractive. Not JUST appearance. If you're ugly and you walk around subconsciously broadcasting that to others, you'll never stand a chance.
Can't disagree with any of that.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 10-16-2017 at 08:45 PM..
Um, I honestly think that the OP missed that memo a loonnngg time ago. But, IF a woman finally DOES approach him and DOES try to strike up a convo with him (and that's a big "if"), he's gonna next her because he's gonna think she's "too forward and too aggressive" (read: a ho). With damaged guys like that, a woman can't ever win.
Don'tcha know? We're not considered to be 'people' by a lot of these types of guys, much less a human being that has wants, fears and consent capability...we're only an empty vessel for them to use as they please.
Exactly. Women who don't approach are sexual objects, women who are too aggressive also are, etc. It gets scary when these sorts of men dehumanize women for these reasons...then you don't know what they are capable of. So I'm hoping OP really thinks about that and what characterizing women that way sounds like.
First and foremost, girls should not be talking to men; women should.
My questions is this? Why do you date women who are scared to talk to men? Because not all women are like that.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This. This is how it's done. This goes for you, too, JBT.
I don't see how this is done for any of the couples I know, except for one perhaps, where they started as roommates. The long term couples I know didn't meet at activities, or classes, or meet ups, or civic organizations, they met, had chemistry right then and there, and went with it. Social circles are great, people need friends, but I've not seen them lead to relationships as an adult (teens/20 somethings kids are something different).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Many people think they are more attractive than they are. It's easy to do. What people don't understand is that MANY factors make us attractive. Not JUST appearance. If you're ugly and you walk around subconsciously broadcasting that to others, you'll never stand a chance.
This is absolutely true. And the times I blew it with women that were physically (physical looks only) much much muuuuch better looking than I am (not hard), it was because my own insecurities scuttled things.
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26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savoytruffle
Exactly. Women who don't approach are sexual objects, women who are too aggressive also are, etc. It gets scary when these sorts of men dehumanize women for these reasons...then you don't know what they are capable of. So I'm hoping OP really thinks about that and what characterizing women that way sounds like.
Is not feeling a woman enough to date her because she approached really along the same line as dehumanizing? I think not. I respect women just if you approach me, it will freak me the out enough not to date you, bottom line.
So because I'm not an attacrive guy women wouldn't approach but I would have a better chance if I did the approaching? Sorry but that hasn't worked.
The only thing you can do is keep trying. Waiting on women to approach is futile. It happens once in blue moon for most men and the "approach" is usually ambiguous enough that the guy may not even be sure it was an approach. The men that understand what's happening are usually already good at understanding a woman's cues, and probably are relatively successful in the dating game. The rich get richer, so to speak.
Unfortunately, none of us knows what you look like when trying to approach a woman. It's possible you have excellent skills but just live in an area where the ladies aren't receptive. It's also possible that you have zero game at all. Having a crappy approach with 1 woman or 10,000 women will likely result in the same thing....for the most part.
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out enough not to date you, bottom line.
