Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-15-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,044 posts, read 27,468,646 times
Reputation: 15955

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by mylona78 View Post
I have a girlfriend for 2.5 years now but i found out from an investigator that she has been going to male friends houses without letting me know about it. She said many lies to me that i will go to a females house insted she went to a males friend.she had sexting with another bloke with the intension of sexual intercource i found out by the investigator.when i comfronted her she told me that i wanted to get revenge of him because he is an assle.i didnt believe her because she already was lying.she told me to give her a second chance but i cant.can you help me please its very important to me.
Are you happy? If not, get out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-16-2017, 01:50 PM
 
1,569 posts, read 1,005,697 times
Reputation: 3666
Quote:
Originally Posted by mylona78 View Post
I have a girlfriend for 2.5 years now but i found out from an investigator that she has been going to male friends houses without letting me know about it. She said many lies to me that i will go to a females house insted she went to a males friend.she had sexting with another bloke with the intension of sexual intercource i found out by the investigator.when i comfronted her she told me that i wanted to get revenge of him because he is an assle.i didnt believe her because she already was lying.she told me to give her a second chance but i cant.can you help me please its very important to me.

So you hired a PI and found out the truth about your gf and yet you STILL want advice?Why can't you just end the relationship?! Very simple thing to do.Trust is broken and that should be the end of it for you but it's not.You stick with this person and nothing will change.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2017, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
10,941 posts, read 5,916,425 times
Reputation: 5636
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Are you happy? If not, get out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by codergirl View Post
So you hired a PI and found out the truth about your gf and yet you STILL want advice?Why can't you just end the relationship?! Very simple thing to do.Trust is broken and that should be the end of it for you but it's not.You stick with this person and nothing will change.
Or he could just stay in it for the sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2017, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,636,835 times
Reputation: 73585
I'm sorry this happened.

You break up, mourn, heal, and move on.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2017, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
10,941 posts, read 5,916,425 times
Reputation: 5636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I'm sorry this happened.

You break up, mourn, heal, and move on.
And that is no joke. You mourn! It hurts! It damn well makes you feel like your head wants to explode. Or your heart. Take your pick.

One thing I learned early on (when I was bumping my head a lot) is that the best cure for one woman is another woman. Go find another one! Move on.

Here's a plan. Stay with this one for the sex while you look for someone else. Once you find that someone else and get established, it will be easy to dump this one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2017, 12:19 AM
 
1,409 posts, read 1,151,829 times
Reputation: 2367
Quote:
Originally Posted by 303Guy View Post
And that is no joke. You mourn! It hurts! It damn well makes you feel like your head wants to explode. Or your heart. Take your pick.

One thing I learned early on (when I was bumping my head a lot) is that the best cure for one woman is another woman. Go find another one! Move on.

Here's a plan. Stay with this one for the sex while you look for someone else. Once you find that someone else and get established, it will be easy to dump this one.
Not so good a plan-- more like a disaster waiting to happen. He stays with her "just for sex" and... gets more attached, more desperate, while knowing she's messing around..not a good combination. Or... he stays with her for sex, then he bails out after meeting someone and gets a call she's pregnant.

Or he bails out for new person and realizes he still wants to be with his girlfriend and now has to crawl back.

Iow I think ending it, healing and then down the road finding someone without all the strings and complications is healthiest and safest
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2017, 07:46 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,980,529 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not boast. It is not proud.
It does not hire a private investigator to check up on your online activities.
Nor does it sneak around and slide into your DMs.
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.
It does not like bikini photos of other hoes on Instagram.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.
Except if you don't text back. Then it gets pissed.


I can't rep you, but I love this. LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2017, 08:53 AM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,613,291 times
Reputation: 12523
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryant17 View Post
I don't understand this. He was proven right not to trust her. He thought something was up, and it was. If he wasnt trusting, and it turned it was for nothing, and she was faithful, then you would have a reason to point the finger at him for being mistrustful, but he was right.

It's kind of like the woman I saw last year. As soon as I showed her I was doubtful about things she would say, she'd pull the "how can we build anything without trust"? Meanwhile, she had started seeing someone behind my back, and lying when I told her I knew. She would bring up the trust thing.

IF YOU'RE LYING NO ONE SHOULD TRUST YOU!
What part is difficult to understand? If the investigator had found nothing, it would not have changed the fact that he does not trust her. Lack of trust is a big problem.

(It's not "finger pointing". It's acknowledgment of a fundamental problem.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2017, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
6,915 posts, read 3,923,928 times
Reputation: 12876
Quote:
Originally Posted by mylona78 View Post
I have a girlfriend for 2.5 years now but i found out from an investigator that she has been going to male friends houses without letting me know about it. She said many lies to me that i will go to a females house insted she went to a males friend.she had sexting with another bloke with the intension of sexual intercource i found out by the investigator.when i comfronted her she told me that i wanted to get revenge of him because he is an assle.i didnt believe her because she already was lying.she told me to give her a second chance but i cant.can you help me please its very important to me.
If you have so little trust in your gf that you need to hire a PI track her every move, why not just dump her??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-17-2017, 11:22 AM
 
728 posts, read 470,807 times
Reputation: 436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
What part is difficult to understand? If the investigator had found nothing, it would not have changed the fact that he does not trust her. Lack of trust is a big problem.

(It's not "finger pointing". It's acknowledgment of a fundamental problem.)
But there was a reason for him to be mistrustful. It isn't terrible not to trust someone when it turns out they are deceitful.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:47 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top