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The unfortunate part is so many actually believe what they see in the movies, magazines and on television and are not smart enough to place it into the fantasy entertainment category instead of the real life category.
OP, I believe your theory is just that, a theory but if it makes you think you have helped someone and you feel better then carry on.
Yes, it's unfortunate indeed.
Absolutely, this is not a "bash women"-thread whatsoever. I am trying help here. If it can help one woman to make the right life decisions, then that's good enough for me. I am not losing anything by the way young women today live their lives. It's actually better for me. I get more sex. I win, you lose. I hope they will understand that.
There's a lot of things men do wrong currently as well. I should probably start a thread on that too. The way people live their lives nowadays hurts both men and women, and their children.
What I brought up in this thread is nothing new. It's information that mothers, fathers (and grandmothers) would tell their daughters since a young age. I guess it has just been thrown out the window somehow along the way, along with the rest of society's morals.
This post contains my general thoughts about hedonism, and things I have been thinking about for many years. This is particularly for young girls (and some quick advice for young men as well). Hopefully this won't cause a stir and if some older women would like to chime in it would be all the better.
Hedonism (free sex, drugs and "rock n roll") today is promoted to young women through media etc. It's everywhere and I realize it is hard not to go along with, especially if nobody told you the downsides of it. I see younger and younger women start having sex, and with multiple partners. But you have to understand, you are not men and by doing this you don't realize you're only ruining yourself and your future. I understand it's exhilarating getting all of that attention from men as a young woman. The world is at your feet. You get invited to all sorts of events and your dating pool is practically unlimited. You can indulge in as much sex with attractive guys as you want with no repercussions (or so it seems). But here's an important part that nobody may have told you: This won't last forever.
My advice is that you try to get married at least before you hit 25. Preferably around 21-22. This is in the peak years of your beauty. It's fine if you want to marry a 35 year old Doctor, Lawyer etc at that age, you don't have to settle for someone younger and more immature who does not have his life together. And young 20-something-guys don't usually know what they want.
Once you hit 30, your looks will rapidly start to fade and your options will become fewer and fewer. By this time, you won't be able to land nearly as good men to start a family with as you could've a few years earlier. Not only that, but whatever relationship you do end up in won't satisfy you as you'll have become jaded from all the (dozens, hundreds?) of men you've already been with up until that point.
So is it fair that you should "give up" your younger years to a husband and not indulge in all that attention and free sex? Yes, and here's why. Marriage has traditionally been built on trade offs. A woman will trade her youth and beauty (and usually virginity) in her younger years by being faithful (at a time when she technically doesn't have to). In return (if she carefully chose a good man), he will take care of her for the rest of his life, even when her looks have faded and he has only gotten more attractive (a man's attractiveness is inverse to a female's. He will only start to get a taste of what you guys had in his late 30s and 40s - if he played his cards right).
Settle down young with the best man you can find, have a lot of children and live happily together until old age. Be nice to your man so as to not scare him away when you're older. If you don't, you may have 10 years of fun but it will be at the expense of ending up miserable, childless and alone for the rest (and the majority) of your life. I know plenty of these women. It's interesting that the use of antidepressant is sky high for single women in their late 30s and 40s.
So what if you are already past your prime and you want to settle down now? Well, you're obviously not in an ideal situation. But one thing you can do is to make sure you are extra nice towards men. Take care of them, make them feel good and make them feel like men. Do not push their buttons or argue. Realize that what you had in your early 20s won't ever come to you again no matter how much you want it to. It was your beauty that got you all of that attention earlier on, but you don't have that anymore. You'll have to compensate for that as much as you can.
For men: Don't stress getting married or even getting laid that much when you're young. As a 20-something-year old, you're not very sought after by the opposite sex. It's frustrating but that's just the way it is. Use that sexual energy that you have and put it into your career. Build something good for the future and once you hit 35 or so, get married to a good, nice younger woman and stay with her for life. If she ends up being terrible to you later on, you have the option to break it off (if you have a prenup). Your virility will stay with you well into your 50s and 60s. Play the long game.
Horrible advice, stop telling people to have lots of kids. The world is already way over populated. Actually though a lot of this does make sense and generally speaking is the cold heart truth.
I am not bitter at all. But I can tell you that I've met many bitter women in their mid 30s who have focused on their careers and now wonder where "all the good men went". They are also bitter over the fact that their career and income does not seem to help them attract a mate.
And again, it's easy to have compassion for these women, because they're only doing what society expects them to do. Being a housewife these days is somehow degrading. It's a shame because there is nothing degrading about it whatsoever. Behind every great man is a great woman at home.
I am not bitter at all. But I can tell you that I've met many bitter women in their mid 30s who have focused on their careers and now wonder where "all the good men went". They are also bitter over the fact that their career and income does not seem to help them attract a mate.
And again, it's easy to have compassion for these women, because they're only doing what society expects them to do. Being a housewife these days is somehow degrading. It's a shame because there is nothing degrading about it whatsoever. Behind every great man is a great woman at home.
Perhaps the women are bitter BECAUSE they met you and THAT caused the women to wonder where all the good men went?
You have provided a very good synopsis of the 1950s, though. We do well to remember the past so that we don’t repeat it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles XII
I am not bitter at all. But I can tell you that I've met many bitter women in their mid 30s who have focused on their careers and now wonder where "all the good men went". They are also bitter over the fact that their career and income does not seem to help them attract a mate. .
Yeah, funny, I've never run into this that I can recall. Most all seem happy and fulfilled in their lives and careers and meet good people frequently. They, like everyone of every age group, have frustration in not finding the right person for them often enough, but that has nothing to do with education or career.
The "bitter lonely 30s women" is a well-worn chestnut trotted out on C-D, usually by men in their 20s who have trouble with women and relationships.
Polishing this diamond and fantasizing about a future where the women who reject them are as unhappy as they are is all they have.
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