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Getting things from others stupidly easy to obtain if you just give people what they want.
Their is both truth and a dishonesty to the statement that “sex is easy to get”
It can be, but that doesn’t mean it IS for everyone under every circumstance.
In my best Ned Ryerson impersonation
BING!
There was that 4-5 year stretch in my late 20’s, where I couldn’t even get a date. It was so embarrassing, I’ve only ever even admitted it to 3 or 4 close friends and on this forum. And you can bet your ass when I finally did meet another girl, I didn’t tell her that she was my first kiss in somewhere between 4 and 5 years. I shamelessly lied right to her face. “Yeah, I’ve dated quite a few women over the past several years” yeah, right!
It wasn’t until one very deep conversation with my now-fiancé, a bit after we were officially in a relationship, where I told her about the 6 years in between my first long term relationship ending and meeting her. I had some success in the one year leading up to meeting her. She couldn’t even believe it. When we first met, I told her “Yeah I haven’t had a serious relationship in almost 6 years, but I’ve dated quite a few women over the years in between” which wasn’t an outright lie, but it was certainly embellishment. I did date a few (not exactly quite a few), only it was in a one year span before we met. Not during that whole 5.5 years between relationships.
But I know why I struggled during those years, and it certainly wasn’t because I was ugly.
Below average guy here. Sex is nowhere as easy to find as you say it is. Trust me on this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
I actually agree with Diss. I'm not my own worst enemy, and yet, sex hasn't ever come easy for me either.
I can get dates and even have makeout sessions here and there, but it never ends up progressing into the sex part. Some other guys can have one night stands or something like that, not me, lol.
Then again, I much prefer having sex while in some sort of relationship anyway.
I agree, getting no strings attached sex isn't that easy to get. I say this as an above average looking guy, at least back in my prime. Don't wanna come off arrogantly, just saying.
After reading timberline's posts for years now I've decided he lives in a different world than most of the rest of us.
There was that 4-5 year stretch in my late 20’s, where I couldn’t even get a date. It was so embarrassing, I’ve only ever even admitted it to 3 or 4 close friends and on this forum. And you can bet your ass when I finally did meet another girl, I didn’t tell her that she was my first kiss in somewhere between 4 and 5 years. I shamelessly lied right to her face. “Yeah, I’ve dated quite a few women over the past several years” yeah, right!
It wasn’t until one very deep conversation with my now-fiancé, a bit after we were officially in a relationship, where I told her about the 6 years in between my first long term relationship ending and meeting her. I had some success in the one year leading up to meeting her. She couldn’t even believe it. When we first met, I told her “Yeah I haven’t had a serious relationship in almost 6 years, but I’ve dated quite a few women over the years in between” which wasn’t an outright lie, but it was certainly embellishment. I did date a few (not exactly quite a few), only it was in a one year span before we met. Not during that whole 5.5 years between relationships.
But I know why I struggled during those years, and it certainly wasn’t because I was ugly.
I've hit cold streaks that were 100% driven by where I was at mentally.
Yes it is, when a person isn't their own worst enemy. Heck, in my 20s, like Running, I was an overweight, pimply, depressed, socially inept hardcore kid (i.e. the scene was 95% dudes, at least) and I was still having sex often enough.
I have to agree with diss as well. Then again, I only prefer to have sex with women I'm in a relationship with.
I agree, getting no strings attached sex isn't that easy to get. I say this as an above average looking guy, at least back in my prime. Don't wanna come off arrogantly, just saying.
After reading timberline's posts for years now I've decided he lives in a different world than most of the rest of us.
honestly i dont even believe most of timberline's posts...lol
that would be my first guess. that, or like u said, he really does live on another planet...haha
So none of you guys(non-virgins, only) have never had sex with someone you were not in an actual relationship with?
Sometimes, people hook up while dating and not in an actual relationship, and this is not the same as friends with benefits, although sometimes it can be.
So none of you guys(non-virgins, only) have never had sex with someone you were not in an actual relationship with?
Sometimes, people hook up while dating and not in an actual relationship, and this is not the same as friends with benefits, although sometimes it can be.
I've had all kinds of sex without being in a relationship. I just say and agree that it isn't that easy to get. You ain't stumbling over it on the sidewalk. If you follow me here.
I want to pipe up yet again on the subject of military. It makes a HUGE HUGE HUUUUGE difference, if one or both of the people is in the military. Your pay will be different, every single month. You'll get benefits and privileges the single soldiers won't. It is a big deal.
Whether it SHOULD be or not, is beyond the scope of this discussion.
Likewise, if you are very sure that you trust someone and love them and want to commit not only your self but your resources to them, or if you want to share certain benefits, it does make sense in some situations. Yes, many of those benefits COULD be done with other forms of documents and contracts. Marriage is a shortcut that bundles many of them into "easy-mode." And some, like Social Security and IRAs...you won't get otherwise.
No it really does vary. So my ex and I did not get legally married for the first 10 years we were together. This was because of taxes. We had 2 kids. It wasn't just the child credits, as two individuals, making lower-middle-class income, I qualified for the Earned Income Credit with the kids as a "single mother" and he paid very little tax as a "single person" on his own at his income level. When we married, our combined earnings put us over the threshold to qualify for EIC. That one refundable credit is a big deal. We were getting about $5k that we lost, when we got married. Only his enlistment in the Army made it worthwhile to do.
Oh, and lest anyone think it, he was the one being all ooshy mooshy feelsy weelsy about wanting to get married to his "soulmate." I was the one being practical and looking at it on paper. And when we got divorced, he is all bitter and hurt and "forever alone" and I got ruined financially. He kept the house. I ended up with the kids, but he has no child support obligation or alimony. I had to take a bad deal, because he was threatening my life if I "got in his way."
So no, the woman doesn't always "win" and it's not always the woman who is emotionally invested in getting married in the first place. Though he is quick to claim that marriage is for suckers and he'll never "endanger what's his" again. How was it endangered? Much ado about nothing, I tell ya. Even if you give a guy everything he wants, he's somehow the victim.
Annnny hoooo.....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Still. I am prepared to have another go at being married. The problem wasn't marriage, any more than it was monogamy. The problem was a bad partner. I have a good partner now. I'd like to be able to share my good health insurance with him and help him manage his affairs if he should ever be hospitalized, and I don't think he's got anyone else he'd like to leave his belongings and such to...and we're really happy together, so celebrating "us" does sound like a fun thing to do.
IMO, the bolded paragraph illustrates one important thing that is wrong with our society....prioritizing finances over morality. What did those kids do to deserve to have parents who never married?.....Answer:....Nothing. Government policy doesn't help. We shouldn't have a government benefit and tax structure that can reward parents for not being married. The subject very rarely came up in my community growing up, but when it did, no kid ever had an answer to my question above, other than nothing.....because there isn't one.
I've had all kinds of sex without being in a relationship. I just say and agree that it isn't that easy to get. You ain't stumbling over it on the sidewalk. If you follow me here.
You absolutely aren’t stumbling over it. You actually have to go out of your way to get it, which I’ve seen Timberline acknowledge before. I’ve seen him post quite a few times about having to “Make things happen” and I feel the same way. When I didn’t make things happen, I had the almost half decade streak of ineptitude. I never got the feeling that he was claiming you had to go out of your way to not have sex. Which is why when I see the “Let them come to you” posts, I immediately shoot those down and fire back, that this kind of approach is gonna lead to things like half decade (or longer) dateless/sexless streaks.
Which is why when I see the “Let them come to you” posts, I immediately shoot those down and fire back, that this kind of approach is gonna lead to things like half decade (or longer) dateless/sexless streaks.
Yup, I completely agree.
Unless you're a guy that's tall and handsome looking along with at least some to decent social skills. Then, you could probably get away with letting them come to you.
For a lot of other guys, that simply won't be the case. You have to make things happen.
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