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I think there is a hint on what the OP's real problem is in her title.
It's not "torn between two men" it's "depressed because I'm lost without my late husband."
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OP, I really agree with some of the other posters, in that I think you need to be alone for awhile, until you can be happy being by yourself! There's no rush - get through the stages of grief first, then build on that. There's no rush!!!
I'm so very sorry for your loss, and sincerely hope you are feeling better. That being said, you can't do two very important things that aren't equally necessary or urgent for your future happiness at the same time very well - the most you'll get is mediocrity (my Dad told me that - he was kind of goofy like that). So do the most important thing FIRST, without distractions like a new relationship - if you don't, you'll send up settling for mediocrity in both and that will NOT be good for you, or make you happy long term.
The other man is very, very kind, generous, loving and considerate but I don't feel the same sexual attraction to him (it is there but no where near the 1st bf); however, I am still physically attracted to him and our education and professions are very compatible. He also lives a distance (75 miles) so we'd need to work that out if we are going to ultimately live together (which is what I want to do with the right guy).
Both men say they love me and are good to my children. Both are good family men and are good to their kids, moms, etc...
I keep on struggling - do I go with the 1st man (with whom I have more sexual excitement but need to worry about future finances), the 2nd man (who I can be happy with but there may be some sexual attraction lacking; however, I have no financial worries), or neither? It may sound strange but I love them both for who they are. I don't want anyone to support me but I can't be supporting someone else for sure; I just don't have those kinds of resources.
Really, sexual attraction when you are 60? I would've thought that you would take up knitting and babysitting great kids or similar... I guess there are exceptions for anything. But there was a long thread here of men complaining how women older than 50 have no interest in sex...
Really, sexual attraction when you are 60? I would've thought that you would take up knitting and babysitting great kids or similar... I guess there are exceptions for anything. But there was a long thread here of men complaining how women older than 50 have no interest in sex...
And they, like you apparently, just thinks the desire for sex disappears after you are old enough to think your parents (awk!!gross)only reluctantly had sex to have kids.
Just here to say I'm 60 and happily [mod cut] someone my age. Our vision and hearing are mostly gone, thankfully, so we can't see our sad selves or hear the ligaments and tendons snapping.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-17-2018 at 02:13 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
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