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Best way to deal with this? Keep her as a friend and find another woman. Don't worry about your friend too much and keep her at arms length. Either she'll be happy that you've moved on and found someone or her true feelings will surface.
Best way to deal with this? Keep her as a friend and find another woman. Don't worry about your friend too much and keep her at arms length. Either she'll be happy that you've moved on and found someone or her true feelings will surface.
thanks, yea.. that's where i am with this at this point.
i am starting to think that i won't be getting a response from our last contact.. i know she's under no obligation, but i'm more curious than anything right now.
i realize that it's time to back away. but then again, with her birthday a little over a week away, i am going to be tempted to wish her a happy one. the friend in me..
Texting might be one of the worst inventions, ever.
Oh I don't know. I think it's the greatest invention ever. I've seduced women with only the written word (texting and DMs). I've had someone fall in love me with just the written word (not texting). It depends on what you say/write.
thanks, yea.. that's where i am with this at this point.
i am starting to think that i won't be getting a response from our last contact.. i know she's under no obligation, but i'm more curious than anything right now.
i realize that it's time to back away. but then again, with her birthday a little over a week away, i am going to be tempted to wish her a happy one. the friend in me..
ugh. i just want a break from thinking about this
What you are going through is tough. Been through it a few times.
some moments i'm fine, where i either forget it completely or while or if not, i seem ok with that.. then BAM. stomach ache.
dying to know what she's thinking, but i'll just wait it out. she's got other things on her plate
Have you ever considered it from her perspective? A woman didn't show interest in you and then you started dating someone and there is the woman contacting you and unloading her feelings while you're in the throes of a potential new romance with someone else. How much consideration and time would you want to give the woman who was a day late and a dollar short?
As a woman, my "need time to digest" would be code for i'm going to ignore this and hope you drop the issue altogether and stop texting me your feelings.
short version: a woman i've known for a bit - mostly in a platonic type of way but with hints of wanting more - recently told me she's just stating "dating someone". i did not see it coming, and thought we were headed in the direction of a more substantial relationship.. how badly did i misread things? and what should i do?
more details: there have been a few nights where we've just cuddled on the couch, falling asleep together. lots of meals, hikes, etc spent together, and daily texting.
there was a lot of "we"-based future talk about various things.. from day trips, or restaurants to try to more substantial things like vacations, visiting her family, and houses and kid names, etc.
and also, her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. she planned day of activities (with my help) involving a few of her closet friends, her mom, and me. she was adamant that i agreed to go, and i did. she seemed excited for me to meet her mom, and said so on multiple occasions.
now, about a week ago, she started to act a bit different. she was less chatty, she'd been talking about stress (which she says was work-related), and she was just being.. different. i had asked if she wanted to get together on saturday night, and she gave a non-answer
the other day, during the day, we're chatting more normally again, and i propose getting together one night to make dinner and watch a movie. she's down for it, and we make a plan of what to make, and we're set for a get together in a couple of days. later that not she drops this me: "so this might be weird, but i feel like i should tell you that i recently started dating someone"
i was taken aback. i questioned what she meant by all these hints, and whether or not she meant any of it. and if i was so wrong at reading the situation, then why would it be weird to tell me she was looking for other guys? or why not tell me when she started, instead of after she's "dating someone"?
she apologized over and over, saying yes, she meant those things, but she was sorry for misreading how she was making me feel.
to me, it doesn't add up. i asked her how else was i supposed to interpret things, and she just said she's sorry, and that i'm her best friend. i said i felt the same way about her, except that to me, it that we were also looking to take it further, looking at the long term.
so, it's been a couple of days since we've communicated. i want to ask her if we can talk again, now that we've had some time to digest everything. i just want to confront her again and ask her if i was completely wrong in reading the situation, and if she in fact didn't have any deeper feelings for me. her actions tell me she did.
any advice? should i wait for her to come to me? could i have been completely wrong about things?
thanks all
What I bolded, was your window of opportunity.
Actually, she gave you several. And you didn't be a man and take them.
You became her text buddy instead of a man who she could see something being with. In other words, you became just another female friend.
Next time, make a move! You don't go to a girls couch, alone, cuddle, and just ...sit there. haha
Also...STOP TEXTING HER! Leave her be. If she comes to text you again, make sure you drop all those sappy texting crap and ask to see her and this time, make a move.
But you just keep blowing her up about your feelings. You're supposed to be the man. You're acting like a needy woman in this situation. Come on, dude! Now you're just texting her and she's probably not even paying attention and getting her brains you know what out by another dude because you sit there and let it happen.
Let this be a lesson learned, and move on. But honestly, do not contact her again UNLESS she reaches out first. We've all been where you've been at some point in our lives, but just let her go. This one is over.
As a woman, my "need time to digest" would be code for i'm going to ignore this and hope you drop the issue altogether and stop texting me your feelings.
Absolutely.
Forget the text. Hope that she never brings it up. When it's time, send her a generic happy birthday message like you would send to any other friend, and begin to move on.
This feeling you're having right now is why that kind of discussion is not meant for text/DM. It's absolutely a face-to-face opportunity, which I know you will be much more ready to jump on going forward.
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