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My grandfather married a virgin and they stayed married into their 90s.
While my father fooled around a lot and had 8 marriages.
My grandfather tried to teach me that promiscuity will lead to failed marriages.
If your wife knows there are men who are 'better at sex' than you are, she will be more tempted to quit the marriage. Whereas if her entire knowledge of sex, is with you, then it removes much of the motives for her ever wanting a divorce.
btw, I am a devout Christian and I do not believe there is anything 'spiritual' to marriage.
My grandfather married a virgin and they stayed married into their 90s.
While my father fooled around a lot and had 8 marriages.
My grandfather tried to teach me that promiscuity will lead to failed marriages.
If your wife knows there are men who are 'better at sex' than you are, she will be more tempted to quit the marriage. Whereas if her entire knowledge of sex, is with you, then it removes much of the motives for her ever wanting a divorce.
Seriously, how insecure does one have to be to want a situation where your partner is ignorant, so you feel she won't cheat. Why did your Grandfather teach that about women, and not men?
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My grandfather married a virgin and they stayed married into their 90s.
While my father fooled around a lot and had 8 marriages.
My grandfather tried to teach me that promiscuity will lead to failed marriages.
If your wife knows there are men who are 'better at sex' than you are, she will be more tempted to quit the marriage. Whereas if her entire knowledge of sex, is with you, then it removes much of the motives for her ever wanting a divorce.
btw, I am a devout Christian and I do not believe there is anything 'spiritual' to marriage.
Or you could just be so darn good at sex, that she knows she won't find better than you.
*shrug*
I mean, since I've been around the block so to speak, when I say that the one I am with now, pleases me in EXCEPTIONAL ways, there is zero mystery and I know what I'm talking about. I know for a fact that no one else has anything to tempt me with, I've been there and done that with plenty of men. Most of them were "meh" and none were so good as this. So...no temptation to stray.
A woman who has only had one...there might be mystery and curiosity about others, but it will only matter if she isn't happy with her husband. Ultimately, virginity or no virginity, people continuing to bring love and joy to one another over time is what matters. Not just in bed but in life.
As a woman, I have to think I'd feel sorry for my male partner if he got me as a virgin and kept me for the long haul. Because as a virgin, I did not know my own body or desires that well, and I was unwilling to explore more adventurous sexual activities. I was not very playful, I was too serious about it. Whatever thrill from having a nervous or shy virgin bride, would have given way to a wife who laid there, closed her eyes, and thought of England (so to speak.) It took a certain amount of experimentation and exploration with different partners to really expand my horizons, in terms of enabling me to enjoy myself and also my willingness to be "good, giving, game" and try practically anything at least once.
However, as a woman who has had plenty of male virgin partners, as that has been nearly a fetish for me in my life... I think virgin guys are great! I have a similar feeling to when you're sharing an old favorite movie with a close friend or loved one who has never seen it before, and on top of that, they are usually fun because they don't assume they know what "women" (as in prior partners who are not me) want. They can be enthusiastic and very giving bedpartners.
Mostly though...I simply have no interest in attaching shame or morality to sex. Others can do as they please, but I know what is or isn't compatible with my life and value systems. As for STDs, yeah, you had better not count on virginity as a guarantee there, folks. It helps your odds, that's all. Did you know that a large portion of the cases of genital herpes out there are in fact HSV-1? And you can catch HSV-1 without having ever had sex, it's the mouth kind with the cold sores, but you can also get sores down south from this virus...and I have in fact met a virgin who has it. He's not a kissless virgin, just a sex virgin, and if he goes down on ya, you could catch an incurable STI. Poor man.
Unfortunately a lot of the stigmas and shame surrounding all things sex in our culture, increase the odds that people will fail to disclose STDs, too, and make people far more ignorant of the facts of these matters.
Seriously, how insecure does one have to be to want a situation where your partner is ignorant, so you feel she won't cheat. Why did your Grandfather teach that about women, and not men?
It really upset him that my father went through so many women.
My grandparents firmly believed that since I was from a 'broken' home, my chances of having a long-term marriage were minimal.
When I was 22 I got married [my wife was orphaned at 12 and grew-up bouncing between cousins], a few years later I introduced my wife to my grandparents. At that event, later in the day my wife and I overheard my grandparents talking [they both wore hearing aids and usually shouted to each other]. They were convinced that we would soon be divorced. Because in their worldview, I and my wife were both lacking whatever skillset a 'normal' nuclear family provides.
It really upset him that my father went through so many women.
My grandparents firmly believed that since I was from a 'broken' home, my chances of having a long-term marriage were minimal.
When I was 22 I got married [my wife was orphaned at 12 and grew-up bouncing between cousins], a few years later I introduced my wife to my grandparents. At that event, later in the day my wife and I overheard my grandparents talking [they both wore hearing aids and usually shouted to each other]. They were convinced that we would soon be divorced. Because in their worldview, I and my wife were both lacking whatever skillset a 'normal' nuclear family provides.
So far we have been married for 36 years.
Congratulations, that is really good to hear!!
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The ones that wait usually do nothing else after marriage. Morning, noon, and night like they are trying to make up for all that time they never had sex. Then they have 9 kids, homeschool, and dress weird. Or was that a TV show?
I really respect those who are waiting, and I get that it makes it special...what else?:
You get the chance that your wife says "wow, I really hate sex". And the thrill of knowing that for the next 40 years, its same old-same old. Sounds great.
My grandfather tried to teach me that promiscuity will lead to failed marriages.
To be fair, he's not entirely wrong. Promiscuity while being married will likely cause that marriage to fail.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner
If your wife knows there are men who are 'better at sex' than you are, she will be more tempted to quit the marriage. Whereas if her entire knowledge of sex, is with you, then it removes much of the motives for her ever wanting a divorce.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner
My grandparents firmly believed that since I was from a 'broken' home, my chances of having a long-term marriage were minimal.
When I was 22 I got married [my wife was orphaned at 12 and grew-up bouncing between cousins], a few years later I introduced my wife to my grandparents. At that event, later in the day my wife and I overheard my grandparents talking [they both wore hearing aids and usually shouted to each other]. They were convinced that we would soon be divorced. Because in their worldview, I and my wife were both lacking whatever skillset a 'normal' nuclear family provides.
So far we have been married for 36 years.
Your grandfather's view was antiquated but that was the norm for that generation.
My grandfather had affairs while married to my grandmother. At one point, she decided to confront him and he had her committed to the psychiatric ward because of her "hallucinations". She stayed married to him, likely because divorce was taboo for their generation.
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