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Old 06-01-2008, 11:33 AM
 
7,892 posts, read 4,935,855 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
No idea why you quoted me... I think I made it clear - never been with a guy like this and have no plans to be.
And yet, statisically speaking, you probably will be. Virtually all men, married and otherwise, occasionally use porn. The smart ones are discrete about it though.
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Old 06-01-2008, 12:36 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 3,031,407 times
Reputation: 1960
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrumMom View Post
I need some perspective from men in particular here, especially if you are married. My husband has been collecting Playboy since he was 18, he's 50 now. When we married I was PO-ed that this thing arrived in my mailbox every month so he could paw over a bunch of naked women. I don't mind naked women - in art or in general, but I think the poses the women make in Playboy speak for themselves - here I am boyz- free meat!! Anyway, we had a few fights about this whole thing and he said if it bothered me that much he wouldn't get it anymore. Lies. I find a whole stack of recent issues a few months later. This back and forth has been going on for years. Today I found a whole bunch hidden in the garage and I got PO-ed all over again. I'm trying to be liberal here, but I can' help feeling that he needs these fixes. We have a daughter, and it sort of disgusts me that be views women in this way. How would he feel if she appeared in Playboy? He also watches a lot of pornography. When we married he had a massive collection. It's dwindled thanks to my distaste, but it's still around the house, even if he thinks he's hidden it. This upsets me greatly, to the point where I can't get it out of my mind when we are intimate with each other. I am both angry and disgusted. Is this normal for him? Normal for me to feel like this?
As usual it's the ol..collecting since 18..had a massive collection,,,but I'm expecting that to all go away because I married him. You get them to change when you meet them, or you don't, not 5,10, 20 years in!
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Old 06-01-2008, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Texas
4,667 posts, read 3,928,032 times
Reputation: 4982
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
Unfortunately it sounds like it already has, he is doing it even though he has told his wife he would not, he is hiding them around the house.



Would he do the same for you if the tables were turned and you were doing something that bothered you that much?



Nudity is natural but PORN isn't natural, it sounds more like an addiction with this man.



I think his viewing of porn and lying about it is a symptom of a larger problem. My guess is you don't know about all his bad choices, you are just now finding out after how many years that he is lying to you about the porn in the mail, do you know what he views on the computer? My guess is that its not as tame as Playboy.

I think you should speak with someone who is likely to give you a neutral opinion on this like a counselor. I don't have a neurtal opinion because porn disgusts me and I wouldn't live with it in my house period, I definetly wouldn't allow it around my child.

One thing I can tell you if you have found it, your child AND probably her kids will find it.
The moral breakdown of society. I only read through the first couple of pages and this post was the only thing that didn't completely disgust me. We've become desensitized as a society to sexuality and it's not good. You see it in the news headlines everyday. Some sick freak pushes the boundaries of sexual norms and gets condemed for it, all the while we as a society celebrate the liberalization of sex. This type of stuff is a direct consequence of our society's lack of moral standards.

To the OP. You are obviously screwed for marrying this guy in the first place. He isn't going to change at this point. You have to make a decision. Suck it up, pray for him, and maybe he'll come out of this addiction. Suck it up and let him wallow in his own sick perversions. Or leave him. The fact this the bothers you so much and he isn't willing to give it up out of his love for you is disturbing. When you really love someone, there are no sacrifices. If he really loves you, he should be all over the opportunity to make you happy and stop looking at porn. Making you happy and seeing you smile should be the only thing he is living for. His devotion to you should never falter. Alot of people stuck in bad marriages tend to forget just how much they love each other. They forget how to love. Good luck sweetie and God bless.
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Old 06-01-2008, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,175,574 times
Reputation: 22785
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
And yet, statisically speaking, you probably will be. Virtually all men, married and otherwise, occasionally use porn. The smart ones are discrete about it though.
Mmm... sierra defies many statistics.

On a more serious note, no, I don't care if it's done discretely and it doesn't affect my life in ANY way. Certainly have no plans to engage in sweet talks about private entertainment, though. There is such a thing as too much information.
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Old 06-01-2008, 07:48 PM
 
4 posts, read 8,243 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
Also, to steal a quote from Cosmic, no woman wants to admit that she can't take all the heat her man can dish out. Maybe women are slower burning, but a guy, especially in his prime, can recharge and go a lot more often than a woman, because women have to be 'in the mood' or 'feel loved' or whatever. Guys are like rechargeable batteries with a set time limit. If he feels horny like he wants to have sex two or three times a day, and you feel more like twice a week, he's gonna go to the porn. He doesn't really have a choice, otherwise he's going to walk around unable to think straight until he unloads. So I don't know, maybe you should talk to him some more about it.
Hunny, I am so sexually frustrated, you just have no idea. Maybe not all women would want two or three times a day, but I would love it. Mind you, I might need a break every now and then... say only once a day for a day or two to "recharge" But I'm in my sexual prime, and would be THRILLED to be getting some nookie that often! As is, I'm left smoldering. And no, that is not just talk.
Perhaps I should be the one looking at p*rn!! Wonder what he would think of that!
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Old 06-03-2008, 01:58 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 1,465,587 times
Reputation: 577
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryfull10 View Post
Hunny, I am so sexually frustrated, you just have no idea. Maybe not all women would want two or three times a day, but I would love it. Mind you, I might need a break every now and then... say only once a day for a day or two to "recharge" But I'm in my sexual prime, and would be THRILLED to be getting some nookie that often! As is, I'm left smoldering. And no, that is not just talk.
Perhaps I should be the one looking at p*rn!! Wonder what he would think of that!
Ok so how can I tell if a woman will be like you when she gets married, like what are the signs? That way I won't end up with a 'once every week' girl.

EDIT: To answer your other question, men don't generally mind when women watch porn. Read through this whole thread, most men would take it as an opportunity to jump right into a horny situation. Maybe you should just find HIS porn collection and start pleasuring yourself while watching it every day. At least then you'd both be on the same page
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:14 PM
 
335 posts, read 704,256 times
Reputation: 138
My opinion? Although you knew what he was like before you married him you voiced your distaste on this issue and he stated that he would stop if it bothered you. Why after all these years does he continue to do it even though he knows how you feel about it? Stated that it would stop but instead seems to follow the philosophy "What she doesnt know wont hurt her"
I agree with you, I think a HS fascination with porn is normal and even amoung single men but married men with children and a daughter no less? This is a disgusting display.
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Old 06-03-2008, 02:24 PM
 
681 posts, read 1,773,968 times
Reputation: 505
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrumMom View Post
I need some perspective from men in particular here, especially if you are married. My husband has been collecting Playboy since he was 18, he's 50 now. When we married I was PO-ed that this thing arrived in my mailbox every month so he could paw over a bunch of naked women. I don't mind naked women - in art or in general, but I think the poses the women make in Playboy speak for themselves - here I am boyz- free meat!! Anyway, we had a few fights about this whole thing and he said if it bothered me that much he wouldn't get it anymore. Lies. I find a whole stack of recent issues a few months later. This back and forth has been going on for years. Today I found a whole bunch hidden in the garage and I got PO-ed all over again. I'm trying to be liberal here, but I can' help feeling that he needs these fixes. We have a daughter, and it sort of disgusts me that be views women in this way. How would he feel if she appeared in Playboy? He also watches a lot of pornography. When we married he had a massive collection. It's dwindled thanks to my distaste, but it's still around the house, even if he thinks he's hidden it. This upsets me greatly, to the point where I can't get it out of my mind when we are intimate with each other. I am both angry and disgusted. Is this normal for him? Normal for me to feel like this?
I haven't read all of the posts but I say that it is entirely normal for you to be p*ssed about this. Even if you want to ignore the whole "immoral" nature of pornography, the fact of the matter is that your husband is not thinking about you while he's whackin' off over this month's Playboy centerfold. He's not imagining you naked... he's imagining nailing that broad. If he WERE imagining you naked, he'd be DOING you naked. (The only acceptable argument here would be that he is not getting enough sex from you, and if that's true he's probably told you about it already. Suck it up and give him more sex. However, even if you don't want to, he doesn't have to use porn. He can go on a date with Palmela Handerson and imagine you all the while.)

So, it's not so much about pornography itself... heaven knows, if he were looking at an album of YOUR naked pictures and whacking off or if he were watching a video of YOU AND HE having sex and whacking off, you probably wouldn't care anywhere near as much. This bothers you because he's mentally cheating on you by reading porn and imagining these ladies doing things to him... and you have every right to be angry about that.
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Old 06-09-2008, 02:28 PM
 
3 posts, read 8,060 times
Reputation: 12
I've been masturbating as long as I can remember. There are baby pics of me doing this with a huge smile on my face. The day I was old enough to go into the store and buy Playboy was awesome. I counted the days. Before that we used to trade them at school, and in the evenings. Sneaking them into the house was always a rush, along with hiding them. Pictures of naked women make me just as happy as cocaine. So does my wife. The lady giving me a hard time in the line because I was buying Playboy. I found that exciting. That was a great toss thank you for being part of my fantasy.

We just got married and moved in to a house. We've dated for a long time and she had found porn before I moved in with her. I didn't take any magazines but I kept it on the pc. She eventually found that too. You can always do a search for the .jpg's on your computer if you want to know the truth. Most guys will fail to have covered those tracks. Personally, I can't resist saving the pictures I like. Why? Because each one is like a fine wine I get a greater amount of endorphins from them. I'll save them just like I would that wine, and relive the experience. I still miss the mags I threw out. Great times with them. Especially the few I was caught masturbating with. That's just more exciting.

We have many bathrooms and one in the main bedroom. She can't resist coming out trying to catch me. Lately she was on a mission to finally see it for herself. So it was three or four times a night that she is wandering around looking for a bathroom. Even though there is one bathroom 10 feet from her. Finally, the *** is up. I've got a gorgeous girl bent over with her skirt hiked just above her ass, and my penis in hand. The feeling I get doing this just can not be matched. She is pissed. I've tried to get her to look at porn but there isn't much market for female porn. Most of it is homosexual porn. She says, "Are you looking at porn?" Yes, I am. No, it's not a woman I know. I just love the feeling I get and I love you very much. Nobody could ever replace you. I wouldn't trade you for any of these women. My biggest fantasy is for her not to care, but to help me instead. Sometimes I get my wish by throwing porn in but I've never had her catch me and finish me off. That would be great!

I want these ladies in my life as a fantasy. They'll never effect you beyond jealousy. You may have the same. With women though they think it's cheating and want to pay you back by screwing someone instead. I'll never cheat if I can have this past time. If you ask me to give it up I will lie. I'll hide, and I'll end up doing some weird twisted crap. I might be forced to go to strip clubs instead, or I could eventually make the mistake of meeting up with someone else. If I could go home and spank off the problem's solved. You don't want to keep a horny man from relief. If you women do not understand it's just what we do until we meet up with you. I've always done this and it's as natural as getting a drink of water to me. There isn't anything I won't do for my wife, except this. I told her repeatedly before we moved in years ago that I was this way. You can not ask me to be someone else so you'll have to look elsewhere, and don't be surprised if they are ten times freakier. I just like classy quality pictures or videos. I'm not into the freaky crap that a lot are. My buddy has a gorgeous woman their problem is he likes ugly pics. She worries he'd screw anyone, and you know what he would! On the other hand I wouldn't, and I wouldn't even look in the direction of his porn. Hell no I'm very picky. It's nature like a river with the dam stretching. It's just going to keep stretching and bust. Let them have their release that's what keeps them in check. You give your man this and you should worry less. Force him to keep secrets and change what has been biggest in his heart next to you before you arrived. It won't work. It's just lies, or even worse you change him in a bad way. Maybe he'll resort to leading two lives and you aren't aware of what he's doing. Also we are not just looking at pictures we want to masturbate. We want that release and anyone that tells you differently again is bsing. I don't know any guys that don't masturbate or have porn. I know plenty of guys that lie to their women though. If you are so lucky to get a guy that likes quality porn be happy. You can reel that one in no problem. If he's got pics of a 200 pound girl with a banana in her anus and a broken watermelon on her chest... well be prepared for that too. That's what happens when you keep a man from being himself too long. I hope that's not what you change a good guy into.

p.s. the women saying he's got problems blah blah blah yeah well so do all the rest of us we just got tired of arguing and lied to you

Last edited by ape123; 06-09-2008 at 02:48 PM.. Reason: typos
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:04 PM
 
5,266 posts, read 4,409,484 times
Reputation: 14860
Quote:
Originally Posted by ape123 View Post
I've been masturbating as long as I can remember. There are baby pics of me doing this with a huge smile on my face. The day I was old enough to go into the store and buy Playboy was awesome. I counted the days. Before that we used to trade them at school, and in the evenings. Sneaking them into the house was always a rush, along with hiding them. Pictures of naked women make me just as happy as cocaine. So does my wife. The lady giving me a hard time in the line because I was buying Playboy. I found that exciting. That was a great toss thank you for being part of my fantasy.

We just got married and moved in to a house. We've dated for a long time and she had found porn before I moved in with her. I didn't take any magazines but I kept it on the pc. She eventually found that too. You can always do a search for the .jpg's on your computer if you want to know the truth. Most guys will fail to have covered those tracks. Personally, I can't resist saving the pictures I like. Why? Because each one is like a fine wine I get a greater amount of endorphins from them. I'll save them just like I would that wine, and relive the experience. I still miss the mags I threw out. Great times with them. Especially the few I was caught masturbating with. That's just more exciting.

We have many bathrooms and one in the main bedroom. She can't resist coming out trying to catch me. Lately she was on a mission to finally see it for herself. So it was three or four times a night that she is wandering around looking for a bathroom. Even though there is one bathroom 10 feet from her. Finally, the *** is up. I've got a gorgeous girl bent over with her skirt hiked just above her ass, and my penis in hand. The feeling I get doing this just can not be matched. She is pissed. I've tried to get her to look at porn but there isn't much market for female porn. Most of it is homosexual porn. She says, "Are you looking at porn?" Yes, I am. No, it's not a woman I know. I just love the feeling I get and I love you very much. Nobody could ever replace you. I wouldn't trade you for any of these women. My biggest fantasy is for her not to care, but to help me instead. Sometimes I get my wish by throwing porn in but I've never had her catch me and finish me off. That would be great!

I want these ladies in my life as a fantasy. They'll never effect you beyond jealousy. You may have the same. With women though they think it's cheating and want to pay you back by screwing someone instead. I'll never cheat if I can have this past time. If you ask me to give it up I will lie. I'll hide, and I'll end up doing some weird twisted crap. I might be forced to go to strip clubs instead, or I could eventually make the mistake of meeting up with someone else. If I could go home and spank off the problem's solved. You don't want to keep a horny man from relief. If you women do not understand it's just what we do until we meet up with you. I've always done this and it's as natural as getting a drink of water to me. There isn't anything I won't do for my wife, except this. I told her repeatedly before we moved in years ago that I was this way. You can not ask me to be someone else so you'll have to look elsewhere, and don't be surprised if they are ten times freakier. I just like classy quality pictures or videos. I'm not into the freaky crap that a lot are. My buddy has a gorgeous woman their problem is he likes ugly pics. She worries he'd screw anyone, and you know what he would! On the other hand I wouldn't, and I wouldn't even look in the direction of his porn. Hell no I'm very picky. It's nature like a river with the dam stretching. It's just going to keep stretching and bust. Let them have their release that's what keeps them in check. You give your man this and you should worry less. Force him to keep secrets and change what has been biggest in his heart next to you before you arrived. It won't work. It's just lies, or even worse you change him in a bad way. Maybe he'll resort to leading two lives and you aren't aware of what he's doing. Also we are not just looking at pictures we want to masturbate. We want that release and anyone that tells you differently again is bsing. I don't know any guys that don't masturbate or have porn. I know plenty of guys that lie to their women though. If you are so lucky to get a guy that likes quality porn be happy. You can reel that one in no problem. If he's got pics of a 200 pound girl with a banana in her anus and a broken watermelon on her chest... well be prepared for that too. That's what happens when you keep a man from being himself too long. I hope that's not what you change a good guy into.

p.s. the women saying he's got problems blah blah blah yeah well so do all the rest of us we just got tired of arguing and lied to you

I think you have an ADDICTION and need help!
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