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Old 03-18-2008, 04:11 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
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Default Do attractive people have difficult times getting relationships?

Do attractive men and women have difficult times getting into relationships? (gay, bi or straight?)

Once in the relationship do you have difficulties that cause you to want to end it?

Bottum line: I was thinking that "the beautiful people" have better relationships and easier chances of getting into them...

I am part of "the beautiful people" crowd and I've yet to have a long-term relationships....I'm not one to start relationships and jump around to different ones...I've just never had the chance to prove myself......or when guys are interested in me they start to set really high ridiculous standards that involve hardly any reciprocation value...soo..well u get the point...
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Old 03-18-2008, 04:27 PM
 
24,586 posts, read 25,653,468 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Do attractive men and women have difficult times getting into relationships? (gay, bi or straight?)

Once in the relationship do you have difficulties that cause you to want to end it?

Bottum line: I was thinking that "the beautiful people" have better relationships and easier chances of getting into them...

I am part of "the beautiful people" crowd and I've yet to have a long-term relationships....I'm not one to start relationships and jump around to different ones...I've just never had the chance to prove myself......or when guys are interested in me they start to set really high ridiculous standards that involve hardly any reciprocation value...soo..well u get the point...
Ah. So you're one of the "beautiful people," huh? So you spend your evenings at Chez Wonderful, sipping martinis and saying truly witty things to the other beautiful people. And yet your difficulties with dysfunctional relationships is more because you're so extraordinary splendid, right? A paragon of the human form, even. Plus you're artsy, which means you aspire to an aesthetic ideal far beyond the mere hoi polloi. What is the problem with the world that they don't recognize you for who you are? Don't they understand whom they're dealing with?

Ooooookay. Let me bring you down to earth. A recurring relationship problem isn't the fault of everybody else. It's not due to the shallowness of society. It's not due to people's unreasonable expectations. Sure, this might prove the case in one or two major relationship bust-ups. However, if you have recurring issues with the love interests in your life, chances are pretty darned good that it's your fault. Maybe it's because you're narcissistic. Maybe it's because your flighty. Maybe it's because you call them up twenty times a day. I don't know. But if you're really having problems in this department take a good look in the mirror...and by that I don't mean to check out if your hair looks okay.
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Old 03-18-2008, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Virginia
6,530 posts, read 8,893,163 times
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Why yes I do..... Thanks for asking. It's tough being a hot guy. My wife is LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY to have me.








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Old 03-18-2008, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,342 posts, read 14,055,609 times
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[quote=artsyguy;3180245]



Bottum line: I was thinking that "the beautiful people" have better relationships and easier chances of getting into them...


I don`t agree with your bottom line. Just because you may be beautiful...does NOT mean that you are going to have a better relationship, than someone with average or even below average looks.
Easier chance to get into a relationship? Not necessarily.
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Old 03-18-2008, 04:50 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 52,681,702 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Bottum line: I was thinking that "the beautiful people" have better relationships and easier chances of getting into them...
I think good-looking people have easier time getting into them, but certainly don't necessarily have better relationships, the main reason for it being they might've been liked for their looks and not for who they are. Once infatuation wears off, the incompatibilities rear their ugly heads. To the contrary, I believe that really unattractive people are lucky. They might be liked by only a few, but not for the wrong reasons and their relationships appear to be lasting more often than not.
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:10 PM
 
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Wow, that was hurtful to me.

Like I told you. I've never had a relationship, been in one, or jumped around to many different relationships.

Like I told you before, I have not had the chance to prove myself...you did not notice or bother to read that.

Nothing in my message screams narcissism. I am not narcissistic. I am extremely sensitive to others. Extremely understanding. I am sensitive to social cues. I value people for who they are. I have over weight friends. I have black friends. I have short friends. I have indian friends. It doesn't matter what they look like, I value people for who they are and how nice they are to me. I don't see any awful traits about myself that would make others really despise me and run the other way. I maintain myself very well socially, psychologically, and physicall, and if somebody criticizes me and then runs the other way, that is their weakness not mine. In this situation you are probably putting your own bad traits onto me, you need to look in the mirror and learn to make respectful feedback to others, so that their feelings don't get damaged.

I do not call 20 times a day - that would be psycho. I've never even known a person that would do that.
I do not consider myself superior to all ; however, I know I have an outgoing and friendly persona and a cute look.

You don't know me. So do not degrade who I am. Your comments are off mark.


Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Ah. So you're one of the "beautiful people," huh? So you spend your evenings at Chez Wonderful, sipping martinis and saying truly witty things to the other beautiful people. And yet your difficulties with dysfunctional relationships is more because you're so extraordinary splendid, right? A paragon of the human form, even. Plus you're artsy, which means you aspire to an aesthetic ideal far beyond the mere hoi polloi. What is the problem with the world that they don't recognize you for who you are? Don't they understand whom they're dealing with?

Ooooookay. Let me bring you down to earth. A recurring relationship problem isn't the fault of everybody else. It's not due to the shallowness of society. It's not due to people's unreasonable expectations. Sure, this might prove the case in one or two major relationship bust-ups. However, if you have recurring issues with the love interests in your life, chances are pretty darned good that it's your fault. Maybe it's because you're narcissistic. Maybe it's because your flighty. Maybe it's because you call them up twenty times a day. I don't know. But if you're really having problems in this department take a good look in the mirror...and by that I don't mean to check out if your hair looks okay.

Last edited by artsyguy; 03-18-2008 at 05:21 PM..
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:19 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
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cool message.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I think good-looking people have easier time getting into them, but certainly don't necessarily have better relationships, the main reason for it being they might've been liked for their looks and not for who they are. Once infatuation wears off, the incompatibilities rear their ugly heads. To the contrary, I believe that really unattractive people are lucky. They might be liked by only a few, but not for the wrong reasons and their relationships appear to be lasting more often than not.
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 52,681,702 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
You don't know me. So do not degrade who I am. Your comments are off mark.
Hmm, let me see how to put this mildly... Let's just say, artsyguy, that not all attractive people call themselves "beautiful people," "part of the beautiful crowd"... Unless it's just careless usage (which is hard to believe since it was done so many times), it does have certain connotation...
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:23 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,126,258 times
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ya I was being sarcastic. In general people call it "the beautiful people" crowd......i think it is a funny term.

But either way if I considered myself part of the beautiful people crowd then that isn't bad or anything to hide. I have a VERY over weight friend that considers himself beautiful. Why would I get up in his face about that?? It is his right to consider himself to be beautiful....he sees himself as beautiful and so do I!

people with very low self esteem, very low self confidence, and people who were never validated by their parents can get so envious and bitter when others are openly confident with their own appearance and beauty (both inner and outer). Confident people are cool with other confident people (usually). You have to know that you are beautiful both inside and outside and consider yourself to be part of the beautiful and confident crowd....it is a must, otherwise you won't feel as good about yourself as you should... imo. Not narcissism at all. Narcissism is an obsession with the image that is projected - narcissistic people don't know their true selves nor do they value it when they discover it, they also don't feel beautiful..most narcissistic people are unhappy with who they are and what they look like. They have impossible standards on their looks and performances, which why they nearly always feel ugly but would never outight admit it in public, their standards generalize to others in their relationships. Ever seen those people who get plastic surgery and still think they look awful and then want more? Or they got so much surgery that they look worse?

What I am talking about is called self-confidence. Considering yourself beautiful inside and out is self confidence and it isn't wrong of me to say I think of myself as a beautiful person.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Hmm, let me see how to put this mildly... Let's just say, artsyguy, that not all attractive people call themselves "beautiful people," "part of the beautiful crowd"... Unless it's just careless usage (which is hard to believe since it was done so many times), it does have certain connotation...

Last edited by artsyguy; 03-18-2008 at 05:40 PM..
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Old 03-18-2008, 05:28 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,955 posts, read 21,492,877 times
Reputation: 10082
artsyguy - Stop looking in the mirror and thinking that you are one of the beautiful people and the life of the party. Stop dyeing your naturally black hair black. Stop working out trying to get a "models build". Stop going to clubs, having a good time with someone, then giving them your number, then not answering their phone calls because suddenly you think that they aren't handsome enough for you to date and fall in love with. (These comments are all gleaned from some of the threads you've made on this message board.)

Stop being a shallow person. Get off your pedestal and be a regular human being with the rest of us slobs. Relax and enjoy life. Beautiful people are NOT anymore special than plain or ugly people. Your threads are why I stereotype beautiful people as being silly, vain and shallow, and not worth becoming friends with.

Note: I know that I could still be on artsguy's ignore list, but my message is also for the benefit of other misguided beautiful people everywhere.

Last edited by miu; 03-18-2008 at 06:08 PM..
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