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Eight months ago my ex-fiance of 2 years did not want to work, so I put him out of my place. A few days ago I saw his grandad at the grocery store in my city and he told me that he is now married to a young girl that is pregnant with his baby. He only has known this young girl for only seven months. Lately, I have been feeling so robbed and hurt. I gave him two years of my time. I carried him when no one else would. Before we split, we were halfway done with planning the wedding and preparing to make children. Now that I am not in love anymore, I was stupid for planning a wedding and considering having a baby with a guy who does not like to work. I invested so much into the relationship only to have him marry a young girl he has known for just a short period!
After we were broken up, I was so hurt and not thinking straight because I thought it would have been cool to sleep with a guy friend. I do not understand or can not explain why I did not use a condom with him! He was the first person I slept with where a condom was not in use! Shortly after the incident, I found out I had Trichomonas! I understand it was a minor STI, but it messed me up emotionally! His nastiness has also broken our friendship, He tried to reach out, but I ignored him.
Certain smells remind me of that night and the scents makes me sad. I also keep replaying the last thing he said to me as I walked out of his door that night. This was six maybe seven months ago, and I haven't had sex since.
All both of these incidents happened months ago, and I am still sad and traumatized by them. Although the pain is still there, I feel myself kind of healing. I have gone from shutting people out my life for almost 6 or 7 months to now going out with my friends and seeing my family more often.
I have also been trying to get back in the dating scene, but it only goes as far as to talking and texting. I am scared to hang out and just afraid of being so emotionally invested in men. One of the men I met through my friend is intrigued by me and is patient with me, but I know that my actions will soon make him leave as the other men did.
I think you need a new counselor, you are way too obsessed about this.
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I would seriously recommend talking to a professional therapist about you inability to handle these things.
I’m not sure what you need to help you can be gained by random people talking to you on the internet.
You need a program you can stick to to help you readjust back to trusting others and how to disseminate the things you have trouble understanding.
In a work-related thread this summer, you said you had been to counseling. That is your best bet.
You do appear to be obsessing on this and taking a very dramatic bent on these situations, when in reality most of what you posted about your ex is beyond your control, and the STI- and dating-related issues are what you must work out with a therapist.
Many of us addressed your anxiety in your original STI thread. I would urge you to resume therapy and reconsider sharing your personal experiences with teens you counsel until you have had some time and mental distance to resolve them.
Eight months ago my ex-fiance of 2 years did not want to work, so I put him out of my place. A few days ago I saw his grandad at the grocery store in my city and he told me that he is now married to a young girl that is pregnant with his baby. He only has known this young girl for only seven months. Lately, I have been feeling so robbed and hurt. I gave him two years of my time. I carried him when no one else would. Before we split, we were halfway done with planning the wedding and preparing to make children. Now that I am not in love anymore, I was stupid for planning a wedding and considering having a baby with a guy who does not like to work. I invested so much into the relationship only to have him marry a young girl he has known for just a short period!
After we were broken up, I was so hurt and not thinking straight because I thought it would have been cool to sleep with a guy friend. I do not understand or can not explain why I did not use a condom with him! He was the first person I slept with where a condom was not in use! Shortly after the incident, I found out I had Trichomonas! I understand it was a minor STI, but it messed me up emotionally! His nastiness has also broken our friendship, He tried to reach out, but I ignored him.
Certain smells remind me of that night and the scents makes me sad. I also keep replaying the last thing he said to me as I walked out of his door that night. This was six maybe seven months ago, and I haven't had sex since.
All both of these incidents happened months ago, and I am still sad and traumatized by them. Although the pain is still there, I feel myself kind of healing. I have gone from shutting people out my life for almost 6 or 7 months to now going out with my friends and seeing my family more often.
I have also been trying to get back in the dating scene, but it only goes as far as to talking and texting. I am scared to hang out and just afraid of being so emotionally invested in men. One of the men I met through my friend is intrigued by me and is patient with me, but I know that my actions will soon make him leave as the other men did.
Please help what I should do?
Not every guy is your ex. Just learn to date, move on, and meet someone new. Seems like you're stuck in your own head here more than anything. Don't worry about your ex, perhaps you guys weren't compatible, but living in the past does no good at all.
In a work-related thread this summer, you said you had been to counseling. That is your best bet.
You do appear to be obsessing on this and taking a very dramatic bent on these situations, when in reality most of what you posted about your ex is beyond your control, and the STI- and dating-related issues are what you must work out with a therapist.
Many of us addressed your anxiety in your original STI thread. I would urge you to resume therapy and reconsider sharing your personal experiences with teens you counsel until you have had some time and mental distance to resolve them.
I agree. I will talk to my therapist about my feelings. She is a great help. She explained that my upbringing causes me to be so hard on myself.
I hope she will also help you realize that your "trauma" is kind of everyday life to (a lot of) people. These things happen. You aren't in the hospital, you aren't handicapped, you don't have traumatic brain injury, you aren't homeless. You got a curable STI that is cured and could have very well been from your jackass boyfriend as sometimes the symptoms aren't even noticeable for 28 days.
Continue your therapy, and: move.on.
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