Why does he follow so many random women on instagram? (marrying, single)

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by peaches91

well what he's doing is just plain insulting. I did say I want to get even but truth be told I don't have the time for that anyway.

I just want him to admit it or tell me if he's not feeling it. I tried so many times to do that and he always seems to panic when I do and tell me to calm down. I lpretty much said if you're not in this then let me.go please. He just keeps saying its all in my head im this and that but he will never say it out loud and allow me to go my own way.

and as I said when I did he wil alwyas end up messaging me and ask me.where I've been and why do I have to be so busy and give him no time etc. but that was obviously when I stopped contact with hin wth out him knowing

Here's your mistake.

You want to put the burden on him.

The burden is on you. If you do not find his action acceptable you break it off. If you are insulted, you break it off.

You do not wait for him to admit anything, or for him to take action.

Either it is acceptable to you, or it isn't, and you react accordingly.

[peaches91]

Originally Posted by old_cold

How hard is it to understand that when a guy ain't getting any he's going to be at least imagining it although he's pretty low key, most watch porn, not just photos on Instagram.
Oh, wait! He probably is, you just don't know it.
2 years?? Are you waiting for marriage? Are the two of you planning that?
If not, give it up or give it up.

yeh I am. he doesn't care either way as inn he will do it before marriage if he can.

[peaches91]

Originally Posted by reen79

I hate social media. I never understood why a grown ass man would be on Instagram or anything like that. I think it does sometimes ruin relationships. If you are just dating then you can say it bothers you but that doesn't mean he will stop. If it's a relationship then he needs to cut that **** asap. He has a girlfriend he shouldn't be creeping on random chicks on Instagram.

probably because there's plenty of harlots who have too much time on their hands and uploads a hundred pictures of themselves a day.

I don't wanna give him the satisfaction of saying it bothers me, since evrytime iv reacted to smething he will say it's in my head n call me insecure even if his wrongdoing is plain and clear.

[peaches91]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Here's your mistake.

You want to put the burden on him.

The burden is on you. If you do not find his action acceptable you break it off. If you are insulted, you break it off.

You do not wait for him to admit anything, or for him to take action.

Either it is acceptable to you, or it isn't, and you react accordingly.

when I have just gotten angry and stopped talking to him he will always end up talking me round.

or if I dnt tell him im annoyed and just not talk fr weeks he wil keep messaging me and once I even said why do u keep messaging me n he said it's because he's trying to get my attention

[old_cold]

I asked if you are waiting for marriage. You are...fair enough but I also asked if you two are planning for a wedding. You didn't answer that.
Regardless, you have no say in what he does to amuse himself solo.
If you go weeks without talking to each other then I'd say you don't even have any right to say what he does with somebody.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by peaches91

when I have just gotten angry and stopped talking to him he will always end up talking me round.

or if I dnt tell him im annoyed and just not talk fr weeks he wil keep messaging me and once I even said why do u keep messaging me n he said it's because he's trying to get my attention

Again, you are using his actions, to over ride the fact that he does something that you find unacceptable.

If you REALLY wanted to break up with him and were REALLY unhappy, none of that you wrote above would matter.

[303Guy]

So you are saving yourself for your wedding night? Does it bother you that the guy you marry will not have saved himself?

And you are being unfair with this guy. He is not into saving himself. You are not even planning on marrying him - or are you? If you are and you are denying him, you could be setting yourself up for a disgruntled husband.

I knew a guy who's fiance made him wait. He was Ok with that because it was the 'norm' and because he was getting sex from other women while he waited. He did go back to one of his FB but she told him no more because he was married now.

Would you be Ok with that? If not then find someone who also wants to wait till marriage.

[Urban Sasquatch]

At first I thought it was all pretty much the guy, and I spoke thusly, gave my advice for that. Said advice still stands.


But the more I read, the more I think you enjoy toying with this guy too, no matter which way the toying is initiated. I suspect you're less interested in this guy himself, more bothered by the notion that he would show interest in any woman but you, despite that even from your side the relationship seems to be kept at arm's length.


Is this a guy you want to keep? Or is this just a point of pride?

[Auraliea]

Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch

At first I thought it was all pretty much the guy, and I spoke thusly, gave my advice for that. Said advice still stands.


But the more I read, the more I think you enjoy toying with this guy too, no matter which way the toying is initiated. I suspect you're less interested in this guy himself, more bothered by the notion that he would show interest in any woman but you, despite that even from your side the relationship seems to be kept at arm's length.


Is this a guy you want to keep? Or is this just a point of pride?

In my eyes, they're both playing each other in a sad twisted battle of the egos.

[Urban Sasquatch]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

In my eyes, they're both playing each other in a sad twisted battle of the egos.

Yup.