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I want to share my "problem" with all the men I meet and who I really like, and this problem is that I realize that I push them away of my life.
At first everything is fine, we chat every day or every couple of days, I avoid to be boring with them and not texting them so much because I know men hate that. We usually have a date and everything is all right, or they say so at least but then...
...They start to put distance between us!! giving me bad arguments to avoid a second date, or promising me future dates and plans thar never come, never texting me first, etc.
The result of this is losing contact 100% or them finding a new girl in a few weeks. The problem is that this happens absolutely ALWAYS.
My last crush for example, he is a handsome and polite man, we have a lot of things in common and he asked me about how I felt after our first date, I said everything was wonderful and he told me the same, but now I see that the relationship is getting colder. And yes, the date was actually great, we talked about ourselves and our lives and we discovered that we have a lot in common.
I am about to give up with men to be honest, these things make me sad, and I wonder why don't pèople tell the truth directly instead of beat about the bush or just dissapearing of my life.
I’m sorry you are going through this, I know that dating can be very frustrating. When you think someone really likes you and then it’s so easy to feel like you wasted your time on that person. I really hope that things will get better for you soon. You never know maybe you will be lucky and find that special someone soon!
Do you think it’s something you say that can scare them off or they get bored?
Do you have in common with them or are they usually the complete opposite of you?
Do you want different things in life than they do?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 1 day ago)
35,580 posts, read 17,923,325 times
Reputation: 50617
Catbelle, no one can tell you what you're doing that's making all the men who like you enough to ask you out once leave after that.
Can you ask any one of them to just be honest - that you're not trying to rekindle a relationship with them - but you really need to know what it is the men are being turned away by?
It's something. It could be bad breath, it could be that although you believe they're having a good time they aren't and you aren't able to read those signs, etc.
clarac has good advice for you. go talk to the guys that have walked away, and find out from them why they did.it might be these guys had another woman on the hook, and she was being a bit distant, until you came along, or the guys just chickened out when you had such a wonderful time, and they might have felt that they couldnt measure up for the follow on dates.
or maybe they didnt feel any chemistry, and moved on.
maybe they are practicing on you to get their confidence up so they can go after the girl they really want. unless you actually talk to these guys, you can only speculate what is going through their minds.
Don’t take it personally. People have gotten used to being able to find a new companion every weekend because of online dating. Perhaps they really did have a good time but didn’t want a relationship.
Try getting to know more people in real life. Don’t date just to find a potential match. Let the chemistry build without the artificial circumstance of a formal date. Take care of your health and take time to look naturally beautiful and happy whenever you are going about your daily life. Be charming and considerate. Don’t make yourself too available. Let them want you.
Don’t take it personally. People have gotten used to being able to find a new companion every weekend because of online dating. Perhaps they really did have a good time but didn’t want a relationship.
Try getting to know more people in real life. Don’t date just to find a potential match. Let the chemistry build without the artificial circumstance of a formal date. Take care of your health and take time to look naturally beautiful and happy whenever you are going about your daily life. Be charming and considerate. Don’t make yourself too available. Let them want you.
First off, I don't think she mentioned that she met these guys in OLD.
Second, real life and OLD isn't really that different.
Fact is, they most likely were just not looking for a relationship, or they simply didn't feel enough chemistry for whatever reason with the OP.
I agree with probably not making yourself too available, but at the same time, she should show interest as well. Nothing feels worse than when a guy does all the work, and the woman hardly if ever reciprocates or shows interest. That's where I lose interest.
First off, you're not the one "pushing" men away. Don't be so hard on yourself. Dating is just a big mindf*** these days. People have too many options they don't know how to choose.
Who is doing the pushing away? It's hard to tell in your case. Normally, women who fear relationships don't recognize this fear. They plunge into each new relationship like a wildfire. The man is drawn closer. But after a while, the relationship fear sets in and the person the woman starts to see faults in her partner. These build up and eventually she runs away emotionally and then physically. Her partner is bewildered by the suddeness of this. She attributes the breakup to his faults.
The pettern is the same for men.
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