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Old 11-12-2017, 04:09 PM
 
1,299 posts, read 814,725 times
Reputation: 5459

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
OH. You know Chad too? All the married men you know are incredibly chill and wealthy, get no sex and are continually biched at. Hmmmmmm

And why the hell does he constantly talk about it at work for? How chill and cool is that? Men/women who are disrespectful of their spouses in front of others are not so cool.

.
Exactly. Showing so little respect to your wife that you would trash talk her and talk about her sex life (it's hers too!) to a guy who works with him is the 100% exact opposite of a cool guy.

My husband and I have been together for 25 years, since we were about that age. His buddies at the time assumed all kinds of things about our relationship, because he wouldn't talk about me. Sometimes they were wrong (that we never fought), and sometimes they were right (about our rockin' sex life). But they never really knew, because my dh wouldn't tell them. It drove them nuts. They were all single, and now decades later have a string of failed relationships behind them, to a man. They were immature little boymen, and remained so. My dh is an awesome man and dad, and I can trust him to always have our family's back.

Last edited by bondaroo; 11-12-2017 at 04:18 PM..

 
Old 11-12-2017, 04:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,063 posts, read 106,896,974 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by bondaroo View Post
Exactly. Showing so little respect to your wife that you would trash talk her and talk about her sex life (it's hers too!) to a guy who works with him is the 100% exact opposite of a cool guy.

My husband and I have been together for 25 years, since we were about that age. His buddies at the time assumed all kinds of things about our relationship, because he wouldn't talk about me. Sometimes they were wrong (that we never fought), and sometimes they were right (about our rockin' sex life). But they never really knew, because my dh wouldn't tell them. It drove them nuts. They were all single, and now decades later have a string of failed relationships behind them, to a man. They were immature little boymen, and remained so. My dh is an awesome man and dad, and I can trust him to always have our family's back.
That's REALLY WEIRD that co-workers would expect and demand to know about his sex life. Creepy. Ew.
 
Old 11-12-2017, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,067 posts, read 1,186,670 times
Reputation: 1688
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToIsenguard View Post
I work at a place that's 80% married men between 33-50 and I swear they're all miserable in their marriage and constantly ***** about their wives and how terrible the wives are.


Why is this? is marriage really that difficult??


Some of it is so mind boggling too. One of the guys is a 33 year old, decent looking, super super chill great guy where him and his wife combined make 200K a year and have zero debt. What the hell is there to complain about?? Yet he tells me the wife is always bitching about every little thing. This is terrifying to me - I want to get married and have kids in next 15 years but my idea of marriage is marrying my best friend where we get along great and improve each other's life. My quality of life right now is tremendous...if that's what I'm looking forward to, I might as well never get married or have kids.
Now you can realize money does not equal happiness. Yes we need money to survive, to do things, and so forth, but it doesn't equal happiness. After all, everything should be bliss for your this other guy, correct?

Is marriage difficult? It can be if you aren't working with your partner to make the marriage work! Marriage takes lots of self-sacrifice from both spouses to make it work. I personally enjoy my marriage because I know my wife and I enjoy the hard work it takes to make it run smoothly. Sometimes we are not on the "same page", but we work together to get back on that "same page" if a problem arises.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ToIsenguard View Post
so explain to me why my 33 year old manager, who is incredibly chill (literally one of the nicest guys I've ever met), they have all the money in the world - why does his wife constantly pick fights over nothing??
Because money does not equal never having problems! After all, we, humans, are still fallible!
 
Old 11-12-2017, 07:37 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,123,338 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Why are you assuming this is a universal experience, and requires preparation for? It sounds like those guys didn't find a good match (let me guess: they went for women who were "hot"? lol), and/or were immature in their conflict-management skills.
A "good match" is the START of the lifelong journey. Not the end. The best match in the world can still build resentment, disrespect ... (male or female) if that journey is not worked on and cherished every day.
 
Old 11-12-2017, 08:42 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,063 posts, read 106,896,974 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
A "good match" is the START of the lifelong journey. Not the end. The best match in the world can still build resentment, disrespect ... (male or female) if that journey is not worked on and cherished every day.
This, too, definitely. One's partner shouldn't be taken for granted.
 
Old 11-12-2017, 10:12 PM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,107,602 times
Reputation: 4004
OP there is such a thing called "life", which frequently gets in the way of the best laid plans and cause seemingly happy couples to start getting frustrated with each other and fight or bicker. There are so many stressors in life that you can't possibly see coming which will cause unknown strain on your marriage. A lot of people get through it but it's very difficult when you're right in the middle of the crisis and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. It's not always going to be wine and roses every day of your marriage. You can't expect it to be. You need to be prepared to work through problems that come up by talking it out and working out a mutually beneficial solution.
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