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The SO is constantly harping and nagging me because I don't show much interest in sex with her.
Just the nagging in and of itself is a huge turn off.
It's not that I'm not interested in sex. It's just that......
I have exactly zero interest in having to be in a committed, monogamous relationship.
-And having to wear condoms all the time.
That is the crux of this "dispute".
Ask any guy....and if he's being honest....he'll tell you.....sex with versus without a condom...even the so-called "life like" ones just doesn't compare. The feeling and sensation is like night and day. Like comparing a porterhouse steak to a block of tofu for flavor......like going to Disneyland but not going on any of the rides. Yeah, you're kind of going through the motions. But the part that counts the most, you come (pun intended) up short.
Yes, I have-repeatedly-tried explaining all of this to her. And her attitude is always indifferent and dismissive.
And that's what we fight about. She refuses to get on the pill. I've repeatedly asked her why and she always dances and tiptoes around it. So I suspect that the REAL reason she won't go this route is because of her Catholic upbringing. I won't ask her to get her tubes tied (see next paragraph).
And having another kid is something I absolutely, positively don't want. It's not an option here.
Meanwhile, she has repeatedly harped on me about getting snipped.
Well it's not that I haven't looked into it, But I've read a LOT of horror stories online about the after and side affects that the doctors apparently don't tell you about.
So she's basically asking me to go get myself mutilated so that I can kind of, sort of enjoy sex. But not really. At least if what I've read about it.....in addition to its intended purpose, having a vasectomy does some weird stuff to the ejactualate sensation.
No thanks. If I'm going to have a greatly diminished sexual experience, I might as well stick to the condoms and save myself the basketball sized swollen sack-o'-nuggets.
So here's our quandary. She won't do anything on her end. And I don't want to cover it and get snipped.
I'll stick to my side action, Rosy Palma. And I guess we'll just stick to the once a month with the condom that I do and that's only because it's to shut her up. I am more interested in trying to solve complex math problems than trying to enjoy myself with a condom. I hate them that much.
So what to do?
Are we just screwed (this pun also intended)? Or do one of us simply have to suck it up (ditto) and get it done?
It's ironic that I'm a sexually deprived and frustrated person in a relationship with a woman who is constantly asking for sex.
Suggestions? Insight?
I feel for ya man! I would rather not have sex than use a condom.
I get the part that you hate condoms (I hate them with a passion - oh don't get me wrong, they are great for prolonging sex when you want to giver her multiple orgasms but at the price of your own fun) but what happened to the rhythm? I've never made a girl pregnant using that method. Ok, so you only have less than one week in four but it sure beats a condom.
Now I haven't read through the whole thread but is there any reason why you don't just satisfy her orally? Most ladies I know love it.
Oh yes, another contraceptive I used quite a lot are spermicides. Never made a girl pregnant with those either. My favourite was one called Rendell - a contraceptive suppository. It melted after insertion. They are still available I believe but not in my country.
Addendum; Spermicides are said to be unreliable! I guess I was just lucky!
^^^^ What Mathguy said. I'm 20+ years on the snip and haven't regretted it even one day. That said, I'm an old guy, have two kids of my own and certainly do NOT want to start another family. If you are absolutely certain that you'll never want a child, get the darned vasectomy. You'll have minor discomfort for a couple days -- not painful, just uncomfortable. I had the procedure on Friday, took it easy through Saturday, then drove 800 miles on Sunday and was back to work Monday. IIRC, I was supposed to avoid sex for a week (2?) until I could get checked for swimmers.
It doesn't change any sensation. I've never heard of that. If anything, it makes sex better because you won't be worrying about unwanted babies. Forever!
Just be sure you won't be wanting to start a family. Vasectomies can (often) be reversed, but it's not a certainty, and it's expensive.
^^^^ What Mathguy said. I'm 20+ years on the snip and haven't regretted it even one day. That said, I'm an old guy, have two kids of my own and certainly do NOT want to start another family. If you are absolutely certain that you'll never want a child, get the darned vasectomy. You'll have minor discomfort for a couple days -- not painful, just uncomfortable. I had the procedure on Friday, took it easy through Saturday, then drove 800 miles on Sunday and was back to work Monday. IIRC, I was supposed to avoid sex for a week (2?) until I could get checked for swimmers.
It doesn't change any sensation. I've never heard of that. If anything, it makes sex better because you won't be worrying about unwanted babies. Forever!
Just be sure you won't be wanting to start a family. Vasectomies can (often) be reversed, but it's not a certainty, and it's expensive.
I've heard of ejaculation into the bladder and witnessed blue, swollen and very painful testicles (my mate). He never said there were any negative effects once he recovered. So yeah, I was a bit hesitant to go that route. My wife was in any case 'sporterized' as my sister put it when she got her tubes tied.
To me what stands out the most, is YOU not wanting another child. And if that's the case then YOU need to do something about it and get a vasectomy. I had one, and I turned out just fine. In and out, no problem. Leaving the responsibility up to the woman, when you are so sure that is something you don't want, is in my opinion pretty low.
Actually there is not much difference, except she is fully accepting the fact that this relationship leads nowhere. You will not commit, and will not be monogamous.
BTW: if you are not monogamous - how your other partners deal with the condom hate? do they fix the issue on their part (pill, patch, female condom, spermicides, diaphragms, caps, tubal ligation, sterilization, IUD's, withdrawal, emergency contraception?)
Is there nothing your present GF could agree to?
Actually...the way I'm reading things, he is indeed being monogamous AND committed. He didn't say he was stepping out on her, and he hasn't said he wants to leave.
He's asking if there's a way to get past the sexual impasse.
Maybe your lady doesn't like the pill because of hormone issues, or blood pressure issues? I would suggest asking her to consider an IUD. They're good for about 10 years, and it's about as worry-free as a woman can get, when it comes to contraception.
It doesn't change any sensation. I've never heard of that. If anything, it makes sex better because you won't be worrying about unwanted babies. Forever!
.
Just curious...is that something guys actually worry about "during"? Does that help you last longer (I'm only being half facetious!).
It is...but its the best one for the OP. I haven't tried this method, because I'm not that adventurous lol.
Not if he doesn't want to have a child. Did you SEE my post above?
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What Mathguy said. I'm 20+ years on the snip and haven't regretted it even one day. That said, I'm an old guy, have two kids of my own and certainly do NOT want to start another family. If you are absolutely certain that you'll never want a child, get the darned vasectomy. You'll have minor discomfort for a couple days -- not painful, just uncomfortable. I had the procedure on Friday, took it easy through Saturday, then drove 800 miles on Sunday and was back to work Monday. IIRC, I was supposed to avoid sex for a week (2?) until I could get checked for swimmers. 
