Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-26-2017, 02:55 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,209,082 times
Reputation: 15314

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex?Il? View Post


21st century, 3rd wave contemporary feminism - the kind that is confusing, complexes, and feels scapegoating and that might make a guy want to go in a more metrosexual, ambiguously gay, unisex route:

[i]actually use words like mansplaining, manspreading, partriarchy, toxic masculinity, rape culture, identify with the women's march on inauguration with the pink hats, think Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, and Samantha Bee are funny, statements like "the future is female" etc.[/I
No, dear. That’s fourth wave feminism. The third wave was my generation, Gen X. Most characterized by intersectionality, challenging gender stereotypes, and, of course, Lilith Fair and Riot Grrls.

Anyway, the ruggeder the better. Beards, flannel shirts, the vague scent of motor oil and good quality cologne. But not afraid to write poetry, cry or roll his sleeves up and get busy in the kitchen; dude doesn’t need to be nagged into sharing household and child rearing responsibilities, seeing as we both bring home the bucks. I have found such a creature, clipped his wings, and keep in in a jar on my nightstand. Okay, I’m kidding; he’s awesome and is not confined to a jar.

Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 11-26-2017 at 03:13 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-26-2017, 03:09 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,132 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post

Anyway, the ruggeder the better. Beards, flannel shirts, the vague scent of motor oil and good quality cologne. But not afraid to write poetry, cry or roll his sleeves up and get busy in the kitchen; dude doesn’t need to be nagged into sharing household and child rearing responsibilities, seeing as we both bring home the bucks. I have found such a creature, clipped his wings, and keep in in a jar on my nightstand. Okay, I’m kidding; he’s awesome and is not confined to a jar.
This is the thing. It's natural for most humans to have a masculine and a feminine side, but many get programmed to show only one of those, and squelch the other. That's not healthy.

OP, you have no idea the level of swooning that is caused by strong or rugged-looking men who don't stifle their gentle side! Like a big, beefy guy cradling a newborn lamb, or jumping up to help a frail elder walk across the room. These are guys for whom its natural to express the full range of their humanity. This can cause women to stampede.

OTOH, there are women who like the metrosexual look. Nothing wrong with that, either. I can appreciate a sharp dresser. It's an art. I love art!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 05:33 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,352,044 times
Reputation: 9636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post
No, dear. That’s fourth wave feminism. The third wave was my generation, Gen X. Most characterized by intersectionality, challenging gender stereotypes, and, of course, Lilith Fair and Riot Grrls.

Anyway, the ruggeder the better. Beards, flannel shirts, the vague scent of motor oil and good quality cologne. But not afraid to write poetry, cry or roll his sleeves up and get busy in the kitchen; dude doesn’t need to be nagged into sharing household and child rearing responsibilities, seeing as we both bring home the bucks. I have found such a creature, clipped his wings, and keep in in a jar on my nightstand. Okay, I’m kidding; he’s awesome and is not confined to a jar.
+1.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This is the thing. It's natural for most humans to have a masculine and a feminine side, but many get programmed to show only one of those, and squelch the other. That's not healthy.

OP, you have no idea the level of swooning that is caused by strong or rugged-looking men who don't stifle their gentle side! Like a big, beefy guy cradling a newborn lamb, or jumping up to help a frail elder walk across the room. These are guys for whom its natural to express the full range of their humanity. This can cause women to stampede.

OTOH, there are women who like the metrosexual look. Nothing wrong with that, either. I can appreciate a sharp dresser. It's an art. I love art!
Right? And that's the thing, "rugged" in the OP's context is some burly dude that is aggressive, domineering, "manly," does "manly" things, acts stoic with little emotional expression, doesn't do "women's work," and let's a woman know her place. Like...no. Not my thing. Mr. Meta is the opposite of a metrosexual (though cleans up well), has a beard, has worn flannel, has a "rugged" look, but fits nothing of the other personality/character/worldview descriptions or preconceptions. He actually possesses more feminine than masculine personality and character traits, is very empathetic with a high EQ and the desire to express his feelings, mild-mannered, kind, easy-going, a wonderful listener, incredibly supportive, and pretty much like a cuddly teddy bear. He'll cuddle kittens, sing and play his guitar, write epic fantasy stories and draw comics, sing songs to his then-newborn daughter while rocking her to sleep, actively participate in child-rearing/quality time with the kids far beyond the uncle-dad role, but also do "manly" things like put guys unconscious in under 8 seconds for fun, build things, fix things and such. So...perhaps certain women simply like a guy with multiple layers and not pigeon hole them to any one type.

There's nothing wrong with preferring a certain type, even if that's a "metrosexual."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 06:45 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,464,357 times
Reputation: 52530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post
No, dear. That’s fourth wave feminism. The third wave was my generation, Gen X. Most characterized by intersectionality, challenging gender stereotypes, and, of course, Lilith Fair and Riot Grrls.

Anyway, the ruggeder the better. Beards, flannel shirts, the vague scent of motor oil and good quality cologne. But not afraid to write poetry, cry or roll his sleeves up and get busy in the kitchen; dude doesn’t need to be nagged into sharing household and child rearing responsibilities, seeing as we both bring home the bucks. I have found such a creature, clipped his wings, and keep in in a jar on my nightstand. Okay, I’m kidding; he’s awesome and is not confined to a jar.
Glad to hear such praise for one's husband. Jeez, in the Weinstein era and the dozens of other stories coming out I have been sorta losing faith in my fellow men. Surely there's lots of good men out there. I'm half kidding here, sorta. Lol, I try and be a decent man, surely there are others out there??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 06:55 PM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
4,005 posts, read 2,071,008 times
Reputation: 7714
I like big ugly men who are confident in their manhood and seethe raw sexuality...

I don't need a boss. I need someone I can hold an honest council with. Someone manly enough to build a hearth to contain my fire, but isn't afraid of fire.

And this, from a 70's feminist who now thinks the whole feminist movement was just a load of crap, and never benefited anyone but rich empty-nesters, and corporations.

Sure, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man...now, will someone please explain to me why exactly I would want to do all that?!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 07:09 PM
 
1,519 posts, read 1,329,784 times
Reputation: 2183
I like manly men with manly arms,swoon,but like everyone said with a feminine aspect too.
I could never be with a metrosexual though who wears skinny jeans,is ultra sensitive,and prissy etc.The guy I'm in love with is the perfect combination of masculine and feminine energies.
The current wave of feminism is about getting rid of gender and gender roles altogether,and I think that is disasterous,as far as they are concerned gender is a construct not an ancient principle that pervades the universe.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
9,588 posts, read 5,817,689 times
Reputation: 11116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post
No, dear. That’s fourth wave feminism. The third wave was my generation, Gen X. Most characterized by intersectionality, challenging gender stereotypes, and, of course, Lilith Fair and Riot Grrls.

Anyway, the ruggeder the better. Beards, flannel shirts, the vague scent of motor oil and good quality cologne. But not afraid to write poetry, cry or roll his sleeves up and get busy in the kitchen; dude doesn’t need to be nagged into sharing household and child rearing responsibilities, seeing as we both bring home the bucks. I have found such a creature, clipped his wings, and keep in in a jar on my nightstand. Okay, I’m kidding; he’s awesome and is not confined to a jar.
Another GenXer here, and a woman unafraid to call herself a feminist. I definitely prefer manly men! I've always said that the man for me should be the 3 essential Rs (the "masculine triad" ):

rugged, refined, reasoned.

Like Mathlete, I say the more rugged, the better!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-26-2017, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
9,588 posts, read 5,817,689 times
Reputation: 11116
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post

Sure, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man...now, will someone please explain to me why exactly I would want to do all that?!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-27-2017, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,552,431 times
Reputation: 39264
I don't identify as a "feminist" though I am fully willing to discuss the concepts without the buzzwords, and at the heart of it, my ideas DO align with some sort of feminism, as described by some. I just don't like how if you use the language, everything from feminism to patriarchy to...whatever...that you then have to derail whatever discussion you want to have, to explain what it means to you or the history or anything else. Some of the words I like to take and turn into jokes. I accuse my fuzzy little housebeast of cat-splaining and cat-spreading.

I want a world where people have some basic respect for each other and can freely make choices that lead to fulfillment and happiness. I'm all for healthy relationships. I have compassion for those who struggle. I hate when people feel justified in violating or harming others. I've no need to humble or marginalize one group in order to elevate another. There are too many assumptions swarming around the buzzwords like flies, so I prefer to set it aside and talk about the meat of the matter.

I'm not really into rugged, or "pretty" sorts of men. I was talking to a group of friends not long ago, and I mentioned that I have a thing for actors (and actresses) who can pull off the role of the Devil in film. Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate" was fiercely sexy to me. And one of my lady friends said, "Oh my god. I get it. THAT is why you like <my boyfriend>!" And come to think of it, yeah, I suppose I could imagine him playing that part. The dark hair with the silver temples, the neatly tended dark & silver goatee, the calm, quiet, but smart and philosophical demeanor...oh, sure.

I guess he is more feminine than he is rugged. He isn't a tough guy, at his age I wouldn't be looking for that. He looks sharp in a suit. I find it intensely endearing that he is far more empathetic and sensitive than anyone would guess, who doesn't know him. A man who can dominate me completely in the bedroom, and cry over a movie later.

But again...that's just me. OK, so there isn't a hive mind, with women, there's just not. Like you can't even figure out what feminist or non-feminist women agree on as a group constitutes the way they like a man to be. Or...can...you...?

Tell ya what, though. One fella's photos keep showing up again, and again, and again in my social media, posted by my swoony sighing lady friends.

So, always be yourself. Unless you can be Jason Momoa. Preferably striding out of the water, or possibly playing guitar with no shirt on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-27-2017, 06:24 PM
 
Location: California
104 posts, read 96,290 times
Reputation: 497
Feminists prefer men who are not misogynists.

From what I hear, women who are not feminists also prefer men who are not misogynists.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:11 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top