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Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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Would appreciate input from those who are in a long term relationship, married, etc.
If your phone talks aren’t always filled with things to talk about and there are long pauses since one or both have nothing new or can’t think of anything more to say,
Is this normal?
Or is this at least a Big Yellow Flag?
Thanks.
If you don't have things to talk about it may mean you don't have enough things in common or that perhaps you aren't DOING enough things. If you just veg out and never do anything or try new things (separately or together) then you won't have much to share with each other.
You'll need to figure out if it's an "activity/boredom" thing or an "incompatibility" thing.
Spend more time together doing things but also allow each other to have individual lives outside of bring a couple. Do not veg out and do nothing...
Why are you both having long conversations over the phone?
Do you run out of things to talk about with friends?
17 years together and despite being recently separated, we meet weekly for a dinner date without children; we still don't run out of things to talk about. Politics, what we have been up to, TV, movies, news, children, my my friends (which can go on and on...) , her friends, personal problems, family problems, struggles, plans as individuals, plans as a family, work, and even reminisce about our past together.
Spend more time together doing things but also allow each other to have individual lives outside of bring a couple. Do not veg out and do nothing...
Why are you both having long conversations over the phone?
Do you run out of things to talk about with friends?
17 years together and despite being recently separated, we meet weekly for a dinner date without children; we still don't run out of things to talk about. Politics, what we have been up to, children, my friends, her friends, problems, struggles, and even reminisce about our past together.
There is a difference o n the phone. Two people in person may have occasional lapses in conversation and it's just 'companionable silence'.
It's awkward dead space if on the phone.
There is a difference o n the phone. Two people in person may have occasional lapses in conversation and it's just 'companionable silence'.
It's awkward dead space if on the phone.
Sure... Conversation is easier in person, but content is the same... When we graduated and married we spent 1.5 years living apart. She was in TX and I was in NJ. It wasn't any different. We still had endless things to talk about... Her friends, my friends, studies, my work, individual struggles, news, politics, planning the next visit.. etc... None of which are limited to in-person conversations.
Perhaps there is nothing to talk about simply because the parties really aren't pursuing interests that spark conversations. That would be the same whether talking to SO or simply friends... Which is why I asked what they talked about with their friends.
I have been married for 30 years, and my husband and I still love each other very much, but unless we have something specific to discuss, we probably don't spend 30 minutes a day in actual conversation -- and I understand that even 30 minutes a day is a lot for people who are both introverts!
After being together for so long, I think it is unrealistic to expect to always have something new and interesting to say to each other, but there is nothing wrong in being so comfortable with each other that you don't feel the need to talk.
In fact, I have heard it said that the only time couples talk for long periods day after day after day is at the beginning and at the end of their relationship. (Although I would disagree with that when at least one of the people loves to just gab about anything and everything, no matter how trivial! Personally, I think people like that are both annoying and boring, but that is just a reflection of my introversion, I think.)
Would appreciate input from those who are in a long term relationship, married, etc.
If your phone talks aren’t always filled with things to talk about and there are long pauses since one or both have nothing new or can’t think of anything more to say,
Is this normal?
Or is this at least a Big Yellow Flag?
Thanks.
My husband and I don't really have long phone conversations. When we speak on the phone, it's usually just to check in with each other if one or both of us are out of town - so no more than a 15-20 minute conversation. And when we run out of things to talk about, we just say our goodbyes.
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