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Every few hours is excessive, My Dh sometimes goes to visit his family & I expect contact every few days, he is busy doing his thing with them ( I could go, but prefer not to). Give him some space or he will feel suffocated & leave.
I love my boyfriend, I really really do, but this is something that has started to annoy me.
My boyfriend travels a lot. He works for his family's company, so he's basically able to get any amount of time off he wants.
He is currently in Europe right now (8 hour time difference). Most of the time when he travels, I am with him so this is never a problem, but this isn't the case now.
I barely hear from him during the few hours of the day we are able to communicate because of the time difference. He's busy doing other things, and I totally understand that. But it really only takes one or two minutes to quickly respond to my text.
I am starting to become resentful because it seems that when him and I are on trips together, he does have text conversations with other people, but now that he's gone on his own, he doesn't have "time" to text me? I don't know, it just seems unfair.
He comes home on Sunday and I'm picking him up. When I see him, I really don't want it to be obvious that I am annoyed at him (but I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it's hard not to mask my feelings) because I don't want to start an argument when I first see him.
But I also want him to know that even if he is traveling, I don't think it's asking too much for him to just send me a couple of texts every few hours, right? It's just really frustrating to see him send me things on snapchat but not respond to my text... Like sending something on snapchat takes the same amount of time as responding to a text.
I really don't want to seem like I'm crazy, but I can't help but start to feel a little resentful.
EVERY FEW HOURS? Of EVERY DAY??
Wrong. It's excessive. It's a little weird, if you ask me. An occasional evening phone call (his time) after his day is over might be reasonable. Texting you ALL DAY, and into the evening? Unreasonable.
OP, it would upset me not to hear from a boyfriend while he's traveling. I would not want to receive texts as often as you wish though. I would expect at least one email most every day though - at least, a short one.
I don't do texting. I can see from your case that texting creates all kinds of expectations. (and not just for you) Those expectations are something I'm glad not to be into. The expectation of immediacy with texting does things to the mind that results in behavior changes, and changes in the brain - the brain becomes dependent upon continual jolts of serotonin that become addictive.
And texting also raises expectations so high - expectations of immediacy, wanting and emotionally needing to hear from him almost constantly.
Last edited by matisse12; 11-30-2017 at 06:29 PM..
This was one of my thoughts, too. I don't SMS text while international due to calling plans and fees. Instead, I'll use WhatsApp and FB Messenger when I'm connected to WiFi (which isn't often while I'm on vacation because I'm out and about...it'd mostly be at the hotel in morning/night).
As someone who travels to Europe/internationally a couple times a year, I know that I don't have much time to text and call anyone when I'm there. I'll send Facebook messages, as they're free for everyone and won't rack up international charges. I eventually got an international calling plan for myself and my fiance, which allows us to talk/facetime once a day when I've go there. When I'm out of the country, it's for traveling with a band that I play with/guitar tech for. I'm usually not there for long, since I have another job, but I have went for 2-3 weeks before.
I'd be pretty annoyed if anybody expected me to talk to them all the time, while I was away. When I'm over there, I don't have time to be texting every few hours, especially with the time difference and my free time being her working/dinner time, and her free time being when I should be sleeping. If it's during NHL season, I'm usually up until the very early hours in Euro time watching my game.
Your threads read like a manual on how to chase a guy away.....
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My husband travels a lot for work. Sometimes I only hear from him once a day. He's busy during the day and tired after work. How long have you been dating? Seriously, you need to back off or you're going to kill the relationship. This is coming from someone who has also been married for almost 20 years. Guys don't like it when you're constantly wondering what there doing. It screams desperation and that you don't trust him.
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