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I am so sad today. I just found women on my husband's computer with whom he has been chatting. He has been "just looking" at women for months on the online dating sites. I looked the other way because he claimed it was "nothing"since he had no intention of talking to them , just looking, and I let it go because he has so many health conditions. He has had cancer twice with two surgeries, fell to the floor in the grocery store last week when I let him go alone, spent a month in ICU after falling from his hospital bed and breaking his hip--and his hip was ok beforehand. He almost died; the doctor even called the house. He uses a catheter after his cancerous kidney was removed. There are so many things he can't do now that he's a complete couch potato. I do everything around here: cleaning, cooking, shopping, I buy his clothes, help with the household expenses, talk with repairmen and pay them and he seems fine with this lifestyle while I am depressed 24/7 for a year now. I've gained so much weight. I do all the driving. I don't want to go out to eat because he probably will say, Ï can't get out of this booth." He manages, though, eventually. I have to put up the tree, decorate it, buy all the gifts and wrap them, entertain his family coming here after Christmas while he just sits. I am so unhappy he has spoken online with two women I found in a 3 minute search. I could very easily do the same thing but my heart isn't in it. He can't even carry five , one liter bottles of soda in a basket without falling down in the store due to his hip. That is, the soda made him too uneven" and he fell over.
All I do is sit at my desk on Facebook or other websites and my "life" is not worth living, really. We can't even go to the movies because he could fall down in the aisle and he refuses to use a walker. He can walk with a very noticeable limp but I choose to go to the mailbox in case he falls on the sidewalk. We're in our 70's; I don't want anyone else. No interest in fooling around. I just don't know if I should even confront him with this he's so pathetic and cheerful. We have been married for 32 years. I buy and bring him so many supplements to do the best I can to keep him feeling ok physically. Should I confront him or keep my mouth shut? It is the only thing he can do for fun--chat with pretty divorced women online. . Should I allow" this? If you met him you'd like him.
What does he say when you tell him how bad it makes you feel? HAVE you told him how bad it makes you feel? Not in an accusatory way, but to let him know you feel angry and sad that you are doing all this for him and he's looking at other women.
It sounds like a harmless escape for him, but I do understand you feeling bad when your life has become being his caretaker and his attention is all directed at other women, pathetic as it may be.
I personally think I'd take him to the diner and leave him in the damn booth and tell him to call one of his online babes to help get him out, but I'm kinda cold-hearted.
You don't need to "confront" him, but you DO need to talk to him about it.
You are making a lot of excuses for him. Stop that now. If he took marriage vows, he swore to forsake all others and to love you in sickness and in health. You are his wife, and while that can involve caring for him, you are NOT His slave to take everything without consideration .
Tell him that you can put up with a lot, but you draw the line at flirting with women. Put a stop to it now.
I personally think I'd take him to the diner and leave him in the damn booth and tell him to call one of his online babes to help get him out, but I'm kinda cold-hearted.
Hi. I'm a guy and I think you should confront him. -Are you no longer enough? -What more does he want? To be honest, you shouldn't ever have to do this. I, personally, would never give the woman I love any reason to feel less than special.
Do you mind dialing back the clock and providing insight into your relationship 3, 10, and 20 years in? When was the last time you two shared any intimacy?
Another story to confirm why I don't want to ever get married again, treating the wife like a mother, nurse or purse with all three rolled into one.
If he is aware of how this makes you feel and uses the excuse that he is invalid, then he is just a jerk and not a loving husband. This has gotten so bad that you are depressed and obese from his abusive behavior. You may need to consider getting into therapy and learning how to love yourself first.
And no I am sure that I would not like him, a dirty old man who treats his wife like crap.
Take his computer and his phone. Give him books and magazines to read.
Is this new behavior for him? Does he have a history of "looking at" other women?
Another story to confirm why I don't want to ever get married again, treating the wife like a mother, nurse or purse with all three rolled into one.
If he is aware of how this makes you feel and uses the excuse that he is invalid, then he is just a jerk and not a loving husband. This has gotten so bad that you are depressed and obese from his abusive behavior. You may need to consider getting into therapy and learning how to love yourself first.
And no I am sure that I would not like him, a dirty old man who treats his wife like crap.
Agree. And I’m so sorry that you’re being treated this way.
Take his computer and his phone. Give him books and magazines to read.
Is this new behavior for him? Does he have a history of "looking at" other women?
He is not my son. I don't take things away from him, things that are but remnants of his past life of relatively good health. No more than if he would unplug my big computer and put it in the garage or take away my car keys.
And no; he has no history of "looking at" other women. He grinds his teeth all day long, naps and watches sports. This all came about when he fell off the hospital gurney and had to quit playing golf and living a normal life. I don't think either of us feels any joy anymore out of life. Not that I don't have anything to be grateful for.
I honestly feel a little sorry for the lovely women online who think he's a healthy guy they'd like to meet in person. They have No Idea what they'd be in for.
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We have been married for 32 years. I buy and bring him so many supplements to do the best I can to keep him feeling ok physically. Should I confront him or keep my mouth shut? It is the only thing he can do for fun--chat with pretty divorced women online. 
. Should I allow" this? If you met him you'd like him.
