I'm stuck in a Catch 22, and I have No Idea What to Do. (date, guy)
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I'm a 27 year old heterosexual man, and I've still never dated, had a girlfriend, or been intimate with a woman. I blame my entire situation on this Cincinnati Metro Area at this point, as I've lived in the city of Hamilton(in Ohio) my entire life.
I've been trying to get with girls since I was a 13 year old teenager, and no matter what, it has failed. I've been involved with sports, clubs, hobbies, and still no luck. I was a high schooler like everyone else, I went to Miami University(Oxford, Ohio), still no luck. I've gone to public places, and approached women, and still no luck. I know my age group(20-29) has the pickiest women(since adult men lust after this group the most), but I feel like I should have scored with a girl by now. I'm not picky, I'm in good shape(I'm a gym-rat), I'm confident, funny, and an ideal match, yet still no luck. I've even tried online dating websites, and apps, and I've still had no luck. The common denominator is one thing: THIS AREA.
My conclusion is this entire southwestern area around the city of Cincinnati is full of the pickiest, and most stubborn women in the country. They expect guys to be loaded with money, and spoil them the rest of their lives. This isn't the only reason I want to move either, because I'm a licensed teacher, and the teaching market here in this area is saturated. I feel like moving can be a win-win situation here.
Whenever I go on vacation(I've been to southern Louisville, Kentucky, Denver, Colorado, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, all over the state of Florida, and all over Indiana), and the people in those states are friendlier, and much more open. On top of that, I actually receive attention from women. Even the people in the outer cities/towns(away from the tourist) area seem to be more welcoming.
The catch is, I have one thing holding me back: Family. My problem is, virtually my entire family lives in the Cincinnati Metro Area, and I'm very close to my family. This includes my parents, grandparents, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, niece, and nephews. I honestly don't want to leave my family, and they don't want me to leave either. At this point, it's looking like I live life as a broke, and lonely substitute teacher, or I move away, and find stability, but as a trade-off, I never see my family.
What would you guys do in my situation?
Get on line and get busy - spend an hour or two every day on tinder, match.com, cupid, POF, etc. until you get a date. Go and have fun even if you have zero chemistry. In fact think of it as Chemistry class and make yourself learn something even if it is uninteresting to you. Once you get the ball rolling you will find out how easy it really is.
What you are describing, is everywhere. There's always someone that just doesn't fit in where their location is, yet others seem to have no problems. All my male friends here have had no issues finding women to be in relationships with, yet I constantly struggle with it. And most guys would love to move here for dating. However, don't just move because you can't find a woman. If you think you can get a better career, or just be happier in a different location, then move, but to move just to have better dating prospects...well you may find out that no matter where you move to, you will always have dating issues.
You're in Hartford, Connecticut, right? Do you think that's a Hartford Metro Area issue, or a state issue?
I only ask because at my alma mater(Miami University in Oxford, Ohio), I met several students there who lived in Connecticut, and I kid you not, almost all of them were superb snobs-Even snobbier than the Cincinnati Metro Area natives! And of course, most of those snobs were Millennial women. I couldn't even get them to engage in a conversation with me.
I would say your friends are probably snobs, and they match with the girls in that area.
Are you aware of how these personal prejudices you're displaying here affect your classroom practices? And how they affect your interactions with people in general?
Get on line and get busy - spend an hour or two every day on tinder, match.com, cupid, POF, etc. until you get a date. Go and have fun even if you have zero chemistry. In fact think of it as Chemistry class and make yourself learn something even if it is uninteresting to you. Once you get the ball rolling you will find out how easy it really is.
As for the online dating, I already did that. I was on those apps, and websites for about two hours every single day. I had the absolute best profile you can imagine; very detailed, and I choose great photos. Despite countless hours on there, still no luck at all.
I've tried the "have fun", and "live life with no worries" method. It's not as stressful, but still not successful.
Are you aware of how these personal prejudices you're displaying here affect your classroom practices? And how they affect your interactions with people in general?
Your views seem deeply entrenched.
I choose teaching because I love helping teenagers, and I like to be their role model. So far, high school students really like me, and look up to me.
It doesn't affect my classroom practices at all.
When I student taught, I taught two blocks of seniors, and one block of sophomores in high school. During the end of my term, I had to give some of the male students the harsh reality of life after high school. I mentioned it to my female students as well, but they didn't need to hear that most men were visual idiots(They already figured that out).
Some of the male students had this fantasy of how college life would be, or even life afterwards. I told them the harsh truth, and how you will be constantly judged for how much money you make, or how picky the dating world is after high school.
How is New York? Are the Millennial women there open-minded, friendly, and accepting?
I grew up in NY and while I can't speak for Millennials (I moved away twice, once in '93 and again in '05) but the only open-minded, friendly and accepting women there are from Ohio. You think women in Ohio are stuck up? Go out to Long Island for a weekend and get back to us.
But seriously, I moved away from my family twice and while it wasn't easy, all of my family have now left the NY metro area since I left for good in 2005. If Cincinnati isn't working for you, I would recommend looking into a college town. I lived in Ann Arbor in the 90s and live in Austin now. I had a girlfriend at the time and am married to her now, but the young women that I meet here in Austin are really nice, constructive , down to earth people. Of course there are materialistic women everywhere but you can tell who they are pretty quickly.
If you think Cincy women are picky, you will find and unlock a new level of picky and snobbishness in most big cosmopolitan cities on the East Coast.
Thanks for letting me know to never move to the east coast!
Interestingly enough, at my alma mater(Miami University in Oxford, Ohio), I met quite a few girls from the east coast, and almost all of them acted like total prudes, and snobs.
I had to give some of the male students the harsh reality of life after high school. I mentioned it to my female students as well, but they didn't need to hear that most men were visual idiots(They already figured that out).
Some of the male students had this fantasy of how college life would be, or even life afterwards. I told them the harsh truth, and how you will be constantly judged for how much money you make, or how picky the dating world is after high school.
Ugh. Yeah, that's what I figured. This is very disturbing.
As a former teacher and as a mom of three sons, I would have contacted your principal and your supervising professor immediately about your misguided and off-topic rant.
You need professional help. Your self-loathing and frustration about your family ties has got you all bound up. Look in the mirror and take the steps to get your mind right.
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You think women in Ohio are stuck up? Go out to Long Island for a weekend and get back to us.
, down to earth people. Of course there are materialistic women everywhere but you can tell who they are pretty quickly.