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Old 12-06-2017, 12:35 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,745,522 times
Reputation: 20030

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol View Post
Don't
If you think she's a less than stellar person, why would you want to be anything like her.
^^this^^ OP your best revenge would be to get on with your life and forget her. and anytime you are around her, treat her as if she doesnt exist. if she pulls any crap on you, just let it go gracefully. remind people politely and with sadness that she has issues that she has to overcome, and that you wish her well in life, and hope that she overcomes those issues.

if you can do this, and do it without anger, then you come out with the moral high ground, and she gets the shaft, as it were, and her support system falls away from her.

do it right and you can come out looking like a hero in all this. but remember that if you stoop to her level, you lose it all and very quickly.
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:36 PM
 
10,500 posts, read 6,983,845 times
Reputation: 32334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I’m willing to take responsibility for my part in enabling her to treat me terribly, I’m fine with that. But I’d love to hear an explanation as to how taking revenge against someone who wronged you terribly makes you a bad person. If some random person comes up to you and punches you in the face, will you smile and hug this person and show them compassion or will you retaliate and strike them back?
Because it puts you at her level. It means that you're now willing to debase yourself for some goofy, premeditated act. It shows the world that you are no better than her and the fact that you're willing to show the world shows that you might be a good deal worse. The only difference between you and her is that she did it to you first.

The other thing? Revenge advertises to the world that, deep down, you're some lovesick jerk who she was perfectly justified in treating badly. The minute you exact your revenge and try to publicly try to humiliate her, the entire world will sit up and say, "Well, I can't blame her. Wow, look what a total a-hole he was."

You've never heard the saying, "Living well is the best revenge"? Go off, quit letting this girl live in your head, and be a man about matters. If you're all that and a bag of chips, she'll wake up one day and realize what an idiot she was.
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:45 PM
 
10,135 posts, read 27,418,523 times
Reputation: 8398
OK, put her on /b/
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Screami View Post
None but what does that have to do with the op and how does living well help get revenge on someone who isn't thinking about you.
Because she's doomed to repeat this pattern, and have a miserable life, while the OP gets to walk away a free and happy man, and move on to better relationships. She's sinking her own ship, while the OP bailed out, and has the option of sailing off into the sunset without her.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:12 PM
 
212 posts, read 158,999 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Because she's doomed to repeat this pattern, and have a miserable life, while the OP gets to walk away a free and happy man, and move on to better relationships.
That's not punishment.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:15 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Screami View Post
That's not punishment.
Exactly! None is necessary, because she's doing it to herself. And years from now, she may find out the OP is happily married, while she's still floundering around in a swamped boat.


You catch on fast!
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:22 PM
 
10,500 posts, read 6,983,845 times
Reputation: 32334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Screami View Post
None but what does that have to do with the op and how does living well help get revenge on someone who isn't thinking about you.
It has everything to do with it. You're giving disastrous relationship advice based on nothing at all. Advice that does nothing to help the OP. You're just egging the guy on when what he needs to do is move on.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:33 PM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,358,105 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
It has everything to do with it. You're giving disastrous relationship advice based on nothing at all. Advice that does nothing to help the OP. You're just egging the guy on when what he needs to do is move on.
Added that one to the Ignore List. Every post it is egging people on.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:40 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,392,058 times
Reputation: 9092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
To give some background, I was with this girl for almost a year and we broke up recently. I admit, this whole this is partly my fault for ignoring the red flags and staying but she completely took advantage of me. I would do nice things for her and spend a lot of money, time, and effort to make her happy. I would do little things like surprise her with her favorite candy and random romantic cards to show my appreciation for her. She never seemed to fully appreciate any of it and she only seemed to show real affection towards me when I was going to buy something for her or do something for her. There were many times when we had arguments that she’d fly off the rails and say all types of harsh things towards me. She once told me to kill my self, she called me ugly and worthless, she’d ignore me and block my number, she’d call me stupid and talk about how no one will ever want to be with me. And I know most people probably would’ve ran away after that, but afterwards she’d seem so apologetic and remorseful. Then she’d go back to normal until the next argument came up. She would also criticize me whenever she felt like it, but the moment when I’d criticize her or ask her to change something about her treatment of me then she’d get really angry and shut down the conversation. She once got really angry at me for calling her out about one of the lies she told me. I put up with that type of treatment for too long and I’m done. The breaking point came when I tried to talk to her about her behavior towards me and she flew off the handle at me and started talking about how annoying I was and how no one will ever want to be with me and how she “hates” me. I’m really hurt, as this happened just a few days ago. I put so much time and effort into this relationship, and I’m a young man working at a job where I don’t make too much money and I still spent a lot on her. I want her to feel the same pain I feel. I have a lot of the screenshots from the arguments we’ve had where she’s said reprehensible things to me. I want to post them on the internet and attach her name to it, so others can see how bad of a person she is. That’s the only idea I have for now. I don’t want to just “move on” from this and let it be, I want her to feel the same hurt and shame that I feel from this
3 things. You needed to grow a pair a long time ago. You need to grow a pair now. Stop thinking like an animal and just walk to hell away from this.

I mean really, that thing you were with is not a female. It's a curse. Stop thinking with your wanker.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I didn’t think of it that way. I just want to expose her for people to see what a terrible person she was towards me. And she admitted multiple times in the relationship that she was “harsh” to me, so on some level she did know what she was doing.

What it REALLY shows, is that for some reason you are the type of person to put up with it. Not a good idea.
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