How do I make a guy fall in love with me? (dating, girls)
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I need advice. I'm in love with someone and we've had a physical relationship on and off for a couple of months. At the onset of our "non-relationship" things moved very very quickly due to us having great physical and mental chemistry. As soon as I started to express my growing feelings for him, he started to become distant until one day he told me he suddenly "lost interest". I was hurt but not surprised because this same thing happened to me earlier this year. I was dating someone and I think I may have pushed them away because I was too expressive of my feelings. Seems to be a common theme with me.
I was appreciative of the fact that he was honest and kind and so I held no hard feelings towards him. He expressed an interest in remaining friends with me. I was hesitant to agree but I said yes. I told him that I needed some distance because I needed to get over him before we could be friends. So some time goes by, and he starts texting me here and there. One day, he spontaneously dropped by my house to return an earring that had fallen off in his bed. A single, cheap stud he could have just thrown away. It seemed as though that was just an excuse to see me but I didn't dwell on it.
We are both recent vegans and so that is a common theme in our conversations. I asked to have dinner one day, as friends, and he was eager to do it. It was a nice dinner and at the end of it I had an urge to kiss him. I asked if it would be alright...He said "are you sure"? And of course I said yes. I told him that if that's what he wanted as well then he should just go for it too. So we kissed. That kiss led to us hooking up again. So now I'm confused. It doesn't seem like he really lost interest. But I notice that he backs away as soon as I say I like him or something. He seems to like the chase.
So my question is: Should I ignore him in order to get him to pursue me and possibly want a relationship with me? What can I do(or not do) in order to make him fall for me? And why do men retreat when feelings start to be involved?
ps- he also kept my toothbrush in his medicine cabinet and some other knick knacks I had given him. and I expressed my surprise to which he answered "why is that surprising?" to which I answered "for obvious reasons?"
I need advice. I'm in love with someone and we've had a physical relationship on and off for a couple of months. At the onset of our "non-relationship" things moved very very quickly due to us having great physical and mental chemistry. As soon as I started to express my growing feelings for him, he started to become distant until one day he told me he suddenly "lost interest". I was hurt but not surprised because this same thing happened to me earlier this year. I was dating someone and I think I may have pushed them away because I was too expressive of my feelings. Seems to be a common theme with me.
I was appreciative of the fact that he was honest and kind and so I held no hard feelings towards him. He expressed an interest in remaining friends with me. I was hesitant to agree but I said yes. I told him that I needed some distance because I needed to get over him before we could be friends. So some time goes by, and he starts texting me here and there. One day, he spontaneously dropped by my house to return an earring that had fallen off in his bed. A single, cheap stud he could have just thrown away. It seemed as though that was just an excuse to see me but I didn't dwell on it.
We are both recent vegans and so that is a common theme in our conversations. I asked to have dinner one day, as friends, and he was eager to do it. It was a nice dinner and at the end of it I had an urge to kiss him. I asked if it would be alright...He said "are you sure"? And of course I said yes. I told him that if that's what he wanted as well then he should just go for it too. So we kissed. That kiss led to us hooking up again. So now I'm confused. It doesn't seem like he really lost interest. But I notice that he backs away as soon as I say I like him or something. He seems to like the chase.
So my question is: Should I ignore him in order to get him to pursue me and possibly want a relationship with me? What can I do(or not do) in order to make him fall for me? And why do men retreat when feelings start to be involved?
ps- he also kept my toothbrush in his medicine cabinet and some other knick knacks I had given him. and I expressed my surprise to which he answered "why is that surprising?" to which I answered "for obvious reasons?"
I don't think he likes the chase. I think he likes having casual sex with you.
So ... "after a while" he shows up with the earring, and you have sex. His asking "Are you sure?" was probably shorthand for, "You know this is just like before, right?"
You can't make him fall in love with you. You can keep him coming back by pulling away, then having sex with him again like you did this time.
Also, "men" don't retreat when feelings get involved. Only men who just want a hook-up do that.
In your mind, you think it's something more. In his mind, it's an FWB situation.
If he really wanted to be with you, he would. You've already made it know that you like him, and he's made it known he's not into you like that. Just because someone sleeps with you, doesn't mean they want to be with you. The common theme here is that you seem to be going for men who are emotionally unavailable to YOU. If you keep trying to get with this guy, you're just going to end up getting hurt again.
You can't MAKE someone fall in love with you, it's just something that either happens or it doesn't.
It doesn't seem like he has lost interest in having sex with you, no. But it also doesn't seem like he ever wanted any other kind of relationship with you. Wanting to be able to brush your teeth before/after sex is not the sign that someone is emotionally invested in you, I'm afraid--please don't take it as a "sign". It's a commitment to good oral hygiene, nothing more.
There doesn't appear to be anything here besides the dude enjoying casual sex. You are not going to change that. I'm sorry.
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I need advice. I'm in love with someone and we've had a physical relationship on and off for a couple of months. At the onset of our "non-relationship" things moved very very quickly due to us having great physical and mental chemistry. As soon as I started to express my growing feelings for him, he started to become distant until one day he told me he suddenly "lost interest". I was hurt but not surprised because this same thing happened to me earlier this year. I was dating someone and I think I may have pushed them away because I was too expressive of my feelings. Seems to be a common theme with me.
I was appreciative of the fact that he was honest and kind and so I held no hard feelings towards him. He expressed an interest in remaining friends with me. I was hesitant to agree but I said yes. I told him that I needed some distance because I needed to get over him before we could be friends. So some time goes by, and he starts texting me here and there. One day, he spontaneously dropped by my house to return an earring that had fallen off in his bed. A single, cheap stud he could have just thrown away. It seemed as though that was just an excuse to see me but I didn't dwell on it.
We are both recent vegans and so that is a common theme in our conversations. I asked to have dinner one day, as friends, and he was eager to do it. It was a nice dinner and at the end of it I had an urge to kiss him. I asked if it would be alright...He said "are you sure"? And of course I said yes. I told him that if that's what he wanted as well then he should just go for it too. So we kissed. That kiss led to us hooking up again. So now I'm confused. It doesn't seem like he really lost interest. But I notice that he backs away as soon as I say I like him or something. He seems to like the chase.
So my question is: Should I ignore him in order to get him to pursue me and possibly want a relationship with me? What can I do(or not do) in order to make him fall for me? And why do men retreat when feelings start to be involved?
ps- he also kept my toothbrush in his medicine cabinet and some other knick knacks I had given him. and I expressed my surprise to which he answered "why is that surprising?" to which I answered "for obvious reasons?"
Sorry, but you're probably just one of many girls he's hooking up with. I'm a guy, and if I like a girl and want her to be mine, I just go for it. Seems like he wants you in his orbit and wants to keep you around because you're eager and willing to sleep with him, but he doesn't sound like he wants a relationship with you.
Best thing you can do is to date around and move on from him, because it doesn't look like you'll get what you want with him and the more you hook up with him, those feelings will probably just get stronger.
To quote Meatloaf: "I want you. I need you. But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you. Now don't be sad. Cause two out of three ain't bad."
That is what is going on here with you right now. If he really wanted you then you two would be a couple right now. The fact is that you are not someone he really wants to be in a relationship with, and he has no other options. Enjoy the nookie because that's all this is ever going to be.
Unless you have a really hot body, get some serious implants, start working out, lose some weight, never see him without make up, dress well and don't let him make any booty calls. Say no every third time he asks you out. Don't spill your guts. Don't initiate the sex. Don't misbehave when you are around him (he has to respect you to love you).
Sex leads to love for men. You have to get their attention first, however.
You aren't going to make him do anything. You need to move on and find someone who does love you. That's hard to do, good things don't come easy.
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