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Sad to say but the whole idea that a man only has value if he makes a lot of money is a manifestation of the patriarchy just as much as impossible beauty standards are for women.
This is interesting to think about! Last night I was watching the latest (or next to latest) episode of "Billions." (I think it was Episode 3 of Season 3)
SPOILER ALERT: stop reading now if you haven't seen it and are planning to see it.
Anyway, newly-broke and jobless Ira is with a very beautiful young woman who presumably he's been seriously dating. And he's telling her how gorgeous she is, how her skin is so amazing when he wakes up and sees her in the moonlight, etc, he's clearly very dazzled/hypnotized by her beauty. And he says he wants to marry her, but didn't know if she still wanted to, because he's broke and jobless. And she agrees, "Let's wait!" to his disappointment, while she digs happily into her pasta dish that she just had the waiter add $240 worth of truffle shavings. The scene makes it very clear that she has zero consideration for his financial hardships he's experiencing.
In the end, Ira ends up making a deal with Axe, and Axe pays for an incredible and ginormous engagement ring for Ira to give to the as-of-yet-unanmed beauty with the great skin. And Ira gives it to her, and she accepts happily.
The scene was so interesting because it showed the business side of the exchange of beauty and money, even though it was supposed to be a "romantic" relationship. And how both players are fully aware of the transaction. And are both satisfied with the game. Both of them are very clear on what was important to them. For Ira, it was having the physical beauty of the woman. For unnamed good-skin woman, it was getting the lifestyle that was appropriate compensation for her beauty. It felt very superficial, because what they each wanted from the other had basically nothing to do with the other person themselves, and yet, both people were getting exactly what they seemed to want the very most, so really, how can that ever be superficial?
Regarding the original post...why would any beautiful woman sell her beauty for less than she can get for it? Clearly men know how valuable it is to them...that's the whole damn reason they want it so bad, yes? That men want beauty so badly, that's what makes gold-digging even possible.
I can't wait for the next episode.
Last edited by typical_guinea_pig; 04-16-2018 at 09:39 PM..
Women like nice things. They may not need or want them, but they like them.
I honestly blame instagrma and social media. It's so common to see women bragging about money they can spend or vacations they can take while cropping out or not mentioning the person who is paying for it. Whether it's their parents, boyfriends, etc.
Unfortunately as men we don't have much of a choice. If men are not willing to treat a woman a certain way that she feels she needs to be treated, they look for someone who will.
Fortunately my fiance doesn't care about fancy stuff but I still treat her like a queen because she surely didn't have to pick me to be with.
Women like nice things. They may not need or want them, but they like them.
Women like doing things. And things cost money. Vacations, restaurants, concerts/events, new hobbies that cost money.
Not too many women are happy staying home eating take out and watching Netflix or playing video games.
And women aren't happy going out with an adult male who still lives in his parents' basement or having roomates. At some point a man has to live on his own whether he rents or owns. And that costs money.
Women like doing things. And things cost money. Vacations, restaurants, concerts/events, new hobbies that cost money.
Not too many women are happy staying home eating take out and watching Netflix or playing video games.
And women aren't happy going out with an adult male who still lives in his parents' basement or having roomates. At some point a man has to live on his own whether he rents or owns. And that costs money.
You know, Netflix, take out, and video games, also cost money.
It was an interesting thing, I did a detailed financial analysis on income and spending during the entirety of my 18 years of marriage, using the best data I had (which was pretty good, really.) You would not BELIEVE this spreadsheet I made. But I'm kinda meticulous about logging financial information and being able to analyze it. I want to know where my money goes.
My ex was more the "stay home, play video games" sort...but he would spend a little money here, and a little there, and not think about it. If he had some money to spend, and went into a convenience store, nothing would stop him from getting a couple of energy drinks, and some snacks...the lure of the shiny packages he wouldn't resist. I on the other hand, would fuss about the prices you pay at such places, easily 2-3X higher than at the grocery store. I would spend very little day-to-day, but then want to occasionally have a little bout of extravagance, such as traveling or going to a concert or something. And I do like nice things, but only when I've planned them into the budget, and only if I feel I'm getting a good bargain on them, or the best price I'm going to get. I gave more thought to what I was doing with money.
The results of my analysis, were that he earned slightly more than I did and spent considerably more than I did, over time. My choices were not always the best choices, but they were at least done with some deliberation and intent. A lot of people don't even have any idea where their money goes, and I always did.
I'll be the first to admit that I like having cool stuff and I like DOING cool stuff...but I plan and save for it, and I tend to make enough that I'm not expecting my partner to cover it. Now if he wants me to go do something WITH him, that I cannot afford, and I tell him, "Look...I can't afford this. If you want me to go badly enough to pay for it, then I will, but otherwise, you go and have fun. I'm staying home." I don't demand things from my partner that I can't afford to pay for myself.
Never spend your time and energy attempting to do things for a woman. Do things for yourself. If they follow great.
IF they don't, onto the next.
Time for men to grow a pair and stop being played the fool.
I don't really understand what you mean about men growing a pair. How are men being played a fool, if they are getting what they want?
It seems that men want something of value (they value it, so it's of value), but they don't want to have to "pay" for having it. Any man who is attracted to someone he perceives as a gold digger...all he has to do is ask himself "Why do I like and want this particular woman, but don't want her to use my money for her own enjoyment?" And then wait for the answer.
When people genuinely know what they want and need in a relationship, ideas like gold digging are completely moot, there is just a balance of needs being met in the relationship.
I used to tell people "I'm a gold digger, but I'm not very good at it." I didn't really understand what I actually meant by that at the time. Now I do. I love (and have) being with a man who is open to sharing whatever he has with me, whether that be his money, his time, his body, his ideas, his Fig Newtons...I enjoy it all. Yes, I'm a gold digger, and I'm finally good at it.
Actually, plenty of women are homebodies who like to stay in and watch Netflix.
It's almost like different men and different women have different interests and lifestyles.
I remember a thread from a regular male poster who was a chill guy and happy with Netflix and takeout. So many negative responses about his lifestyle and comments from women who said they can do that already by themselves why would they 'need' a partner for this? Basically offer something more exciting and entertaining than this.
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