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Old 12-13-2017, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,328 posts, read 61,154,439 times
Reputation: 30256

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Quote:
Originally Posted by diddleydoo22 View Post
It's a huge deal. Family, acquaintances, and coworkers are all leaning towards thinking that I'm a homosexual. And no offense, but I don't feel like I deserve that label, since I'm attracted to the female gender only.
Seriously, early 20s is very common for men to be awkward in dating.

Is there anyone you know who is married, where you could talk to their wife for advice? It sounds to me like you may need a female friend [one who is totally off the market].
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:09 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,102,207 times
Reputation: 3703
OP, does this truly bother you or are you more worried about what friends and family think you should be doing?

If the latter, I'm here to tell you other people's opinions on something that's none of their business aren't worth a tin ****. Shrug them off as best you can and give all your time and energy into the things you love to do. Find your passion and follow it, then nothing and no-one else need concern you.
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:12 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddleydoo22 View Post
No. I don't come on aggressive at all. I don't even invade their personal space. I rarely even say anything other than, "hey".
I think we've identified the problem. OP, you need to do a bit more than that, if you want a girlfriend.



NEXT!!
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Old 12-13-2017, 05:35 PM
 
57 posts, read 61,619 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I think we've identified the problem. OP, you need to do a bit more than that, if you want a girlfriend.



NEXT!!
Why should I do anything if they treat me like a joke.
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddleydoo22 View Post
Why should I do anything if they treat me like a joke.
You never said they treat you like a joke. And we don't know whether it's all in your mind, or not. Also, we don't know in what kind of context you're perceiving their dismissive behavior of you: bars/clubs? Public places/stores/events? Group activities, classes, co-ed sports, volunteering? You haven't told us anything. A good way for shy, awkward or lacking-in-confidence guys to meet women is to find some group activities to participate in on a regular basis. You can get to know them, while they get to know you, in a low-key environment involving an activity of mutual interest, so there's a natural conversation topic.

That's what some of us mean by "do more than say "hey".
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Old 12-13-2017, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,288,409 times
Reputation: 30257
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddleydoo22 View Post
Why should I do anything if they treat me like a joke.
How so are these women treating you like a joke?
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Old 12-13-2017, 07:21 PM
 
1,713 posts, read 1,102,207 times
Reputation: 3703
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
So yeah, there’s something wrong if you haven’t dated a little by the time you’re 22. It’s up to the OP to make more effort.
And here it is again, the all too common assumption that if you haven't done x by a certain age, you don't measure up and there must be something amiss.

By no means am I attacking ellie or singling her out in any way, but I take so many issues with this kind of thinking that I may as well buy a subscription. I'm nearly twice the OP's age and I can count the number of dates I've had on the stump of an amputated hand because I've found the situations very uncomfortable. I only agreed to them to get people off my back and the lack of any follow up dates was a blessed relief.

To the OP, I will rephrase my original comment. If dating or finding a girlfriend is something you want to do for yourself, you could do worse than follow some of the advice people have offered you in this thread. If you are simply reacting to pressure from family members or others in your life to conform to their standards and it's bringing you down, distance yourself from them or their influence and follow your own path.

There's no rule in life that says you have to be in a relationship to be happy. Some folk will tell you otherwise, but their biggest problem is a lack of imagination.
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Old 12-13-2017, 08:58 PM
 
57 posts, read 61,619 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
How so are these women treating you like a joke?
They treat me how most people would treat a person that they believe is beneath them on some level(s).
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:14 PM
 
57 posts, read 61,619 times
Reputation: 30
If a girl thinks she's better than a certain guy, that guy's efforts to seduce her are all in vain.
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Old 12-13-2017, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddleydoo22 View Post
If a girl thinks she's better than a certain guy, that guy's efforts to seduce her are all in vain.
If she thinks she's better than you, why would you try to seduce her??
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