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Old 12-27-2017, 04:39 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 6,894,660 times
Reputation: 30708

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Good grief. Just tell her she forgot to log out of her facebook, and you saw the messages, and you're wondering what it's about.


It DOESN'T make you seem overly jealous


It DOESN'T make you seem insecure.


It MIGHT be nothing. But you have a right to know, and she has a right to explain it, if she can.
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Old 12-27-2017, 04:42 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 6,894,660 times
Reputation: 30708
Never mind what I said. If I'd read all the way through, I would've seen you've already approached her on the subject, and her answer was kind of flippant.


I'd ask her if she plans on putting the kabash on the chats. They DO seem innapropriate.
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Old 12-28-2017, 12:32 AM
 
Location: 415->916->602
3,145 posts, read 2,381,261 times
Reputation: 3862
I feel bad for you and the douche bag's wife.
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Old 12-28-2017, 09:21 AM
 
887 posts, read 507,183 times
Reputation: 1983
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Your cavalier attitude about this topic doesn't sound like someone whose spouse has deceived them. It mostly sounds like reaching to prove a pedantic point.

My life experience has taught me that very few men (especially married men) actively seek out a woman to chat without ulterior motives. Part of what you're saying is true ... independent adults can't walk around every day checking in with their partners about what they're doing and saying with other people. But if she has a guy friend with whom she's close enough to DM at 11 at night, her BF would know who it is and know why they're messaging.

.

I am sorry, I still don't agree with this. My husband has way different hours than me, I start work super early, he starts work later, so is therefore up later than me. If someone is texting him at 11 a night, I don't care, nor ask about it. I wouldn't know anyways because I am asleep, but I just don't think the time frame matters. I guess it is about how the relationship has always been. We have always been like this, from day 1 we discussed both or our needs to feel trusted, to be able to live life without having to constantly check in and explain every little thing to each other. I actually would feel really silly asking him " who is message at 11 pm, and why are they messaging" obviously people will never agree with me on this, and that is fine, it's just how I choose to live my life. I guess that is why we dated casually for a year, because I really wanted to get to know him and get a vibe as to how he was, if he was someone I did want to give my trust to. I don't even know all my husbands friends, he has many from work I haven't even met, some are woman, doesn't bother me.
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Old 12-28-2017, 09:24 AM
 
887 posts, read 507,183 times
Reputation: 1983
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Never mind what I said. If I'd read all the way through, I would've seen you've already approached her on the subject, and her answer was kind of flippant.


I'd ask her if she plans on putting the kabash on the chats. They DO seem innapropriate.

But again, I am not seeing what is so inappropriate. He didn't say anything at all bad. And neither did she. And lets just say, for arguments sake, that this guy DOES have ulterior motives with this girl. So? Does he trust his girlfriend or not?
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