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Old 12-22-2017, 09:28 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,015,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015 View Post
Why is this sneaky? Does she have to mention every time she talks to someone? My husband and I text, email other people all the time, even women/men, I never would think to ask him who he is talking to, even late or in the morning.


If you don't trust her, why are you there? But if you really think that people should tell their partners every time they send a message to someone else, that is a bit strange.
This is called complacency. This never works out well.
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Old 12-22-2017, 09:43 AM
 
887 posts, read 507,682 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster View Post
This is called complacency. This never works out well.

Well my husband and I have been together for over 14 years, so I think it's going fairly well. I just can't imagine wondering every time he is texting someone, no matter what the time of day. What are we supposed to do, constantly ask " who are you talking to?...we both have friends, co workers etc. We both lock our phones and computers, my husband is the one who forced me to do this, he works in IT and is super paranoid about security ( as in, what if I lost my phone and it wasn't locked). It's quite frankly none of my business what his text messages or emails say, he is still an individual.


I will always stand by my conviction that you can't watch someone 24/7, and if you don't trust someone, you shouldn't be there.
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Old 12-22-2017, 09:46 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,015,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015 View Post
Well my husband and I have been together for over 14 years, so I think it's going fairly well. I just can't imagine wondering every time he is texting someone, no matter what the time of day. What are we supposed to do, constantly ask " who are you talking to?...we both have friends, co workers etc. We both lock our phones and computers, my husband is the one who forced me to do this, he works in IT and is super paranoid about security ( as in, what if I lost my phone and it wasn't locked). It's quite frankly none of my business what his text messages or emails say, he is still an individual.


I will always stand by my conviction that you can't watch someone 24/7, and if you don't trust someone, you shouldn't be there.
Nah, you're right. You gotta have some trust, but I'm a little hyped today, so I might say some things that I haven't thought all the way through.
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Old 12-22-2017, 09:48 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,799 posts, read 7,001,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster View Post
Nah, you're right. You gotta have some trust, but I'm a little hyped today, so I might say some things that I haven't thought all the way through.
This seems to be the case with majority of your posts. You need to find more constructive ways to channel your aggression. Otherwise, people will just distance themselves and not take you seriously.

OP, didn't really snoop per se, he literally just opened the laptop for some other purpose and BOOM there it was. I agree with Canada girl though. Some will argue what if they're acting funny? What if it seems like they're being sneaky? What if they are plotting to kill you? My question is: If you think all that, why are you still with them?

*shrugs*

Last edited by Auraliea; 12-22-2017 at 09:57 AM..
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Old 12-22-2017, 09:56 AM
 
1,566 posts, read 897,510 times
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You should send a message to his wife saying don't text your partner.Then talk to you partner and see what she says.It sounds fishy and inappropriate to me.
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Old 12-22-2017, 09:57 AM
 
3,271 posts, read 2,015,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
This seems to be the case with majority of your posts. You need to find more constructive ways to channel your aggression. Otherwise, people will just distance themselves and not take you seriously.

OP, didn't really snoop per se, he literally just opened the laptop for some other person and BOOM there it was. I agree with Canada girl though. Some will argue what if they're acting funny? What if it seems like they're being sneaky? What if they are plotting to kill you? My question is: If you think all that, why are you still with them?

*shrugs*
Well, I make my life a little more stressful than it has to be because I want to win so bad. Like today, honestly wasn't the best day for me, but it's not the worst day either.

Although, right now is CHAOS!!!

Blood on the streets! Not sure what to do.
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Old 12-22-2017, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,924 posts, read 55,716,162 times
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Well, there are some factors missing between finding something on her FB page and "If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be there."

He has found something worth investigating. It IS suspicious. Context matters. The doc didn't text her some work-related thing like, "Just confirming our appointment for tomorrow." He texted her something that people who are personally involved would text each other.

Sure, you can blithely go through life never once "checking on" your partner, but you also can take proactive steps to let your partner know that you are aware of potential threats but not susceptible to them.

She could easily let the OP know if this kind of thing is something typical of her business. She also may not even like the guy and is being pursued by him but not interested. Either way, she could do more to reassure the OP, and if they are committed to each other IMHO it's her duty to do so.
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Old 12-22-2017, 10:52 AM
 
651 posts, read 373,419 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuestOfTruth View Post
The conversation is not important, what matters is that you don't trust your gf. Without trust, there is nothing....
Just because you trust someone doesnt mean they will never do you wrong. Kinda like just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they are not out to get ya
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Old 12-22-2017, 10:55 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 4,990,024 times
Reputation: 13236
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Well, there are some factors missing between finding something on her FB page and "If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be there."

He has found something worth investigating. It IS suspicious. Context matters. The doc didn't text her some work-related thing like, "Just confirming our appointment for tomorrow." He texted her something that people who are personally involved would text each other.

Sure, you can blithely go through life never once "checking on" your partner, but you also can take proactive steps to let your partner know that you are aware of potential threats but not susceptible to them.

She could easily let the OP know if this kind of thing is something typical of her business. She also may not even like the guy and is being pursued by him but not interested. Either way, she could do more to reassure the OP, and if they are committed to each other IMHO it's her duty to do so.
Perfectly stated.
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Old 12-22-2017, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,924 posts, read 55,716,162 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
Just because you trust someone doesnt mean they will never do you wrong. Kinda like just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they are not out to get ya
Yeah, I agree. "The conversation is not important ..." is absolute BS.

My husband also gets late and early texts and calls sometimes. But they are all about part numbers and orders that didn't get shipped or alarms that went off. They are never from another woman asking if he's awake.. LMAO They NEVER contain anything personal.

He obviously trusted her and still does; now he is merely suspicious. He just needs to talk to her about it. There's nothing wrong with being concerned.
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