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Old 12-22-2017, 11:03 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,798 posts, read 6,996,105 times
Reputation: 16207

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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanMarlton View Post
Just because you trust someone doesnt mean they will never do you wrong. Kinda like just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they are not out to get ya
That can go for any type of relationship though. Friends and relatives do shady stuff behind their loved ones' backs ALL the time. You DEFINITELY can't keep an eye on people 24/7.

Yeah a romantic relationship is "different" but people are still people whether you are involved with them intimately or not.

I just think a lot of people don't know how to STOP once they start/find out something that hurts them. It can become a habitual thing and lead to unhealthy dynamics in other relationships.

Regardless any relationship is not without "risks."
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Old 12-22-2017, 11:37 AM
 
21,930 posts, read 10,085,449 times
Reputation: 27417
Unless you have somesense that she is unhappy in your relationship, leave it alone. She runs a massage business. That is a very personal and sensual service, involving rubbing a man's body. For him it's pleasure. Many men are going to want something more and see what they can get. For her it's business. Dealing with the inevitable come-ons is "part of the job".

She probably hasn't mentioned it to you because she can handle it and doesn't want you getting "involved" or micro-managing how she handles it.

If you message him and threaten him you will likely lose her a profitable client.
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Old 12-22-2017, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,007 posts, read 24,656,827 times
Reputation: 27609
Your story and the timing still aren't adding up.
I call this fantasy
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:07 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
98,885 posts, read 97,427,748 times
Reputation: 110354
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Unless you have somesense that she is unhappy in your relationship, leave it alone. She runs a massage business. That is a very personal and sensual service, involving rubbing a man's body. For him it's pleasure. Many men are going to want something more and see what they can get. For her it's business. Dealing with the inevitable come-ons is "part of the job".

She probably hasn't mentioned it to you because she can handle it and doesn't want you getting "involved" or micro-managing how she handles it.

If you message him and threaten him you will likely lose her a profitable client.
Well, this is certainly a fresh perspective! You could have a point. Although, if it were strictly business, I would have responded (to the "you awake?" message) the next day, after 9 a.m., and said, "I only check client messages between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., regular business hours." That would have sent a clear signal to the client that I was all business, no play.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
45,934 posts, read 30,778,984 times
Reputation: 68027
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Unless you have somesense that she is unhappy in your relationship, leave it alone. She runs a massage business. That is a very personal and sensual service, involving rubbing a man's body. For him it's pleasure. Many men are going to want something more and see what they can get. For her it's business. Dealing with the inevitable come-ons is "part of the job".

That is the opposite of what a professional should be doing with their clients. Well, depending on what type of "professional" she is.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,924 posts, read 55,683,987 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
That is the opposite of what a professional should be doing with their clients. Well, depending on what type of "professional" she is.
Yep.

Professional massage therapists draw very strict boundaries between therapeutic and sexual/sensual massage. It might bring a client pleasure, but a client is supposed to respect the boundary, not take advantage of it.

And yes, I know that massage is by definition "sensual." But the connotations are supposed to be different.

Ruth's suggested reply would have been perfect for the OP's girlfriend to send.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:35 PM
 
21,930 posts, read 10,085,449 times
Reputation: 27417
Just because someone else draws their "red line" somewhere differently than you would draw yours doesn't mean they don't have boundaries.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:36 PM
 
9,515 posts, read 4,752,288 times
Reputation: 9070
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Well, this is certainly a fresh perspective! You could have a point. Although, if it were strictly business, I would have responded (to the "you awake?" message) the next day, after 9 a.m., and said, "I only check client messages between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., regular business hours." That would have sent a clear signal to the client that I was all business, no play.
Good point. I think there's a little more going on here than meets the eye. In todays world the sky is the limit. To think that some things are impossible when it comes to human behavior is wrong headed. People just need to accept the fact that the society we live in is by and largely devoid of high standards.


For the OP.

https://www.amazon.com/Chimpanzees-G.../dp/0674116496
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:39 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 4,987,684 times
Reputation: 13236
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia View Post
Just because someone else draws their "red line" somewhere differently than you would draw yours doesn't mean they don't have boundaries.
Huh?


A 'client' is texting her late at night - for what? "You awake?" - sounds like a booty call text. Name one profession, other than the obvious, where this is allowed. He is not talking about a legit massage at 1104 pm.


If this is a demonstration of boundaries (I mean, someone sent her pictures!) then I would hate to see what 'no boundaries' look like.
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Old 12-22-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,485 posts, read 7,339,717 times
Reputation: 25940
Oh gosh, that is all very suspicious.
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