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Old 12-22-2017, 01:35 PM
 
336 posts, read 174,425 times
Reputation: 409

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Yup... just because it's open doesn't give you permission to read it. The device might be yours but the page is not.
wow, way to go out of your way to attack the victim. Something tells me that if the genders were reversed you would be calling for the guys head.
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Old 12-22-2017, 01:39 PM
 
336 posts, read 174,425 times
Reputation: 409
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norrov View Post
He’s an older doctor and saying good night and good morning to your gf?

She doing something sketchy with him or trying to monkey branch. You shouldn’t of needed to make this thread. Call her out on it and see her reaction then go from there. I wouldn’t aware his wife, just keep it between you two. No sense in making everyone’s life a mess.

There’s plenty of awesome women out there, don’t settle for someone who thinks they need a back burner.
So, if they indeed are cheating, which they most likely are, it would be the OP that makes their life a mess? not the actual people cheating? lies and affairs thrive in the darkness. Exposing it to everyone involved, usually ends them.
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Old 12-22-2017, 02:20 PM
 
887 posts, read 505,880 times
Reputation: 1983
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Asking about it doesn't mean you don't trust him.

That's the way you operate. Other people operate differently, and it's not a negative. It doesn't have to be distrustful. It's a way to stay engaged, to remind her he is aware and cares, that he wants to be sure she is safe and not being harrassed.

Assuming your husband can handle it doesn't preclude you from helping him And supporting him emotionally, if he wants that.

Oh, I'm sure he waned to chat LMAO

He doesn't need my help, or support, to deal with a woman who may have a crush on him. He is a grown man.


I don't think accusing her and reading her email is saying he cares, it's more saying he doesn't trust her. I highly doubt he will say it in a non accusing way. And again, as adults, we should be able to handle these things. sure, I may mention it to my husband in passing if a guy was hitting on me or had a crush on me, but I wouldn't feel I had to, because it really doesn't matter. The message barely said anything. So this is a lot of drama for a message that really said nothing at all to indicate anything bad was going on. Even the late night thing, who cares, some people stay up later than others.


And how do you know he didn't want to chat? Men and woman can just chat, you know.


I am not saying people don't have affairs, they do, and in fact I have been cheated on in this past in previous relationships, maybe these people are, I have no idea, but the message alone certainly doesn't indicate that.
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Old 12-22-2017, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
32,812 posts, read 16,219,408 times
Reputation: 24466
The ONLY women I have shared late night, or early morning texts with are those in which I am being INTIMATE.
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Old 12-22-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
45,759 posts, read 30,631,849 times
Reputation: 67648
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilot1 View Post
The ONLY women I have shared late night, or early morning texts with are those in which I am being INTIMATE.
Pretty much this. Yes, I am sure there are rare exceptions, but 99% of the time (random number to make it look official ) late nigh and early morning texts are if not romantic, trying to become romantic.
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Old 12-22-2017, 02:55 PM
 
336 posts, read 174,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015 View Post
He doesn't need my help, or support, to deal with a woman who may have a crush on him. He is a grown man.


I don't think accusing her and reading her email is saying he cares, it's more saying he doesn't trust her. I highly doubt he will say it in a non accusing way. And again, as adults, we should be able to handle these things. sure, I may mention it to my husband in passing if a guy was hitting on me or had a crush on me, but I wouldn't feel I had to, because it really doesn't matter. The message barely said anything. So this is a lot of drama for a message that really said nothing at all to indicate anything bad was going on. Even the late night thing, who cares, some people stay up later than others.


And how do you know he didn't want to chat? Men and woman can just chat, you know.


I am not saying people don't have affairs, they do, and in fact I have been cheated on in this past in previous relationships, maybe these people are, I have no idea, but the message alone certainly doesn't indicate that.
Why in the world would he trust a cheater? Doesnt that make him SMART?
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Old 12-22-2017, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
45,759 posts, read 30,631,849 times
Reputation: 67648
I know everyone's relationships are different, but I believe in maintaining the appearance of propriety. If I seem like I am fooling around then I can't fault someone for thinking I am, even if I am totally innocent.

Why would I put that in front of my husband? So, if something happens (ALL of it innocent) I mention it to him. Why? Is he some crazy jealous guy? Nope? Does he think I am incapable of handling myself? Nope.

Because if someone mentions to him "hey, I saw your wife and so and so at lunch", it's no surprise to him, when the guys at the gym report to him that they saw me playing racquetball with one of the guys, yep he knows already. My ex drunk calls me? I let him know.

Things only look funny if you discover then unaware (IMO).

Works for us.
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Old 12-22-2017, 03:29 PM
 
887 posts, read 505,880 times
Reputation: 1983
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1981 View Post
Why in the world would he trust a cheater? Doesnt that make him SMART?
Who is the cheater, his girlfriend? We don't even know she is cheating. And absolutely he shouldn't trust her if she is a cheater, but he also shouldn't be with her, because without trust, there isn't anything. So rather than just complaining about how you cant trust that person, find someone you can trust. I never once said you should trust a cheater. You also shouldn't be there though. My husband knows if he cheats on me I am gone, no second chances, and vice versa. But with that being said, we both have a lot of trust and freedom, even though we have both been cheated on in the past ( by other people, not each other).
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Old 12-22-2017, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Florida
23,002 posts, read 24,610,579 times
Reputation: 27592
At this point, girlfriend hasn't done a thing.
Old doc may be trying for something and she may be totally confident that she can handle it. With her job, she may have encountered this more than once.
No need to bother or possibly upset the boyfriend with it.
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Old 12-22-2017, 03:39 PM
 
887 posts, read 505,880 times
Reputation: 1983
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I know everyone's relationships are different, but I believe in maintaining the appearance of propriety. If I seem like I am fooling around then I can't fault someone for thinking I am, even if I am totally innocent.

Why would I put that in front of my husband? So, if something happens (ALL of it innocent) I mention it to him. Why? Is he some crazy jealous guy? Nope? Does he think I am incapable of handling myself? Nope.

Because if someone mentions to him "hey, I saw your wife and so and so at lunch", it's no surprise to him, when the guys at the gym report to him that they saw me playing racquetball with one of the guys, yep he knows already. My ex drunk calls me? I let him know.

Things only look funny if you discover then unaware (IMO).

Works for us.
That's cool for you. But you see, I also have men friends, so if someone said to my husband they saw me somewhere with a guy, he would just assume I was with a friend, rather than the worst. I am not even saying I wouldn't tell my husband, I probably would in passing if a guy was hitting on me or something, just because we would get a good laugh about it and we talk about things. But I don't need to. And we don't need to look at each other texts or emails. I have faith. If it turns out I am the biggest idiot on the planet, so be it, and I move on to being single again, either way, I will be ok. I am not scared of something happening, but I am scared of living my life worrying about something happening. I am scared of living a life being controlled because of what " might" happen.


And actually yes, I think you can fault someone who is supposed to trust you for thinking the worst, if you have never given them a reason not to think that. I would be fuming mad if I came home and a friend of my husbands had mentioned he saw me out with a guy, and my husband assumed I was cheating on him right off the bat. Because I have NEVER given him a reason to think that. So to leap to that assumption isn't cool at all. In fact this recently happened, I was out for my work party, and a bunch of us went out dancing afterwards. I was dancing with some guys I know from work. My husband's friend saw me and mentioned it. it came up a few days later when I said my back was a bit sore from dancing ( I am old ha), and he said " oh ya, so and so mentioned he saw you were dancing a few nights ago" No assumptions, nothing, just faith that I was just having fun. It probably wouldn't have even come up if I hadn't said anything.
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