Have you ever broke off a relationship because of your SO's family?
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A person has very little ability to change the way others think. Her Mom may never like your ideas and choices because it's not the way she would do things. She may never confront her Mom, and if she did it would probably do no good. I think you have to be able to live with that as part of the equation. Regarding children, I have seen several cases where the husband didn't want kids but the wife did, and the husband and wife split up after the wife was too old to have them. Maybe this is what her Mom thinks could happen.
You say you don't want kids or don't want them for a good long time. This sounds like waffling. You either want them in the forseeable future or you don't. It sounds like you don't. If your fiance is OK with never having kids, then this is not a problem. If she's waiting for you to change your mind, it's a big problem.
I know that I don't want kids right now. I still have things that I want or need to do, for me and for us, and having kids would put a significant strain on those timelines. My fiance feels the same about kids, but for her own reasons. She's a teacher, and she really can't stand kids because of what she has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. She's also young, and she wants to experience a lot more with us before she makes that decision. As of right now, we both agree that we don't want kids, and we have no plans for kids in the next five years. Beyond that, maybe our feelings change. It would not be the first time in history that that has ever happened.
My future MIL was pretty blunt about her feelings towards us having children. She wants us to produce grand babies for her so that she can spoil them and send them off once she's had her fill. Sounds like a great deal for us. We bear the responsibility and cost of raising kids for 18-20+ years so that she has someone to spoil for a fraction of the year. She wants them for her own selfish reasons, while we don't want them for ours. The problem with her thinking is that we have a lot more at stake than she does.
Yep. She wasn't exactly a picnic, but her father was a major-league a-hole. Yes, she was a coal heiress. Yes, he was worth untold millions. But he was a horrid person and she had daddy issues.
My future MIL was pretty blunt about her feelings towards us having children. She wants us to produce grand babies for her so that she can spoil them and send them off once she's had her fill. Sounds like a great deal for us. We bear the responsibility and cost of raising kids for 18-20+ years so that she has someone to spoil for a fraction of the year. She wants them for her own selfish reasons, while we don't want them for ours. The problem with her thinking is that we have a lot more at stake than she does.
The MIL can beg and plead till the cows come home, but it's ultimately up to you and your finance if and/or when you have kids.
Yes, her dad was a racist who didn't want her dating black men.
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