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I've thought about relocating to the pueblo area (cheaper houses than Colorado springs) just because a higher population means more options. Plus the climate is great and the legal bud.
I've made right around $1M as of this post on paper from crypto currency investing and have withdrawn around $300k so I have plenty of funds to quit my long term job and start over somewhere. I know for a lot of people that's not a lot of money but when youre used to living cheap you can make it last.
Right now I live in a rather isolated town of 25k in eastern south Dakota. However another idea has been to meet a woman from the Philippines and move/retire there if I can manage to make $2M in Cryptos. I've been told they are much more family values oriented out there and the cost of living is much less. I just want a loyal cuddly nerdy introverted feminine wife who will make a good mom and raise 2-4 kids without getting bored and wanting to leave.
I've thought about relocating to the pueblo area (cheaper houses than Colorado springs) just because a higher population means more options. Plus the climate is great and the legal bud.
I've made right around $1M as of this post on paper from crypto currency investing and have withdrawn around $300k so I have plenty of funds to quit my long term job and start over somewhere. I know for a lot of people that's not a lot of money but when youre used to living cheap you can make it last.
Right now I live in a rather isolated town of 25k in eastern south Dakota. However another idea has been to meet a woman from the Philippines and move/retire there if I can manage to make $2M in Cryptos. I've been told they are much more family values oriented out there and the cost of living is much less. I just want a loyal cuddly nerdy introverted feminine wife who will make a good mom and raise 2-4 kids without getting bored and wanting to leave.
Well, Pueblo...the houses are cheaper for reasons. It's just not as nice down there. Although I do hear good things about the river walk. A lot of Pueblo has kind of a run down feel to it, compared to the Springs.
There are areas of Colorado Springs that don't cost as much, like Widefield and Fountain. I used to live down there, it's not bad. C.Springs has a nice little-city feel to it. We do have a lot of military here, so I expect competition in the regular, vanilla dating market for certain demographics can be a little skewed, and Denver's got the reputation for being tough for single guys, too. But I just think it's a matter of finding the right market for yourself socially. We do have quite a population of nerdy gals here, though maybe not as much as the Pacific Northwest. But with regard to not getting bored and wanting to leave...well, life is what you make it. I think that for many guys, if you keep a decent attitude...capable of happiness and fun, helping out with the necessary tasks in life, and working to not take your partner for granted...your odds of keeping a partner aren't bad. I mean, if one gets bored, that implies that life has become boring, right? People need to stay engaged with living, not just fall into a rut. Having kids does not have to mean having a boring life.
And I gotta say, there is a lot of really low cost fun that a person can have in this area. My community activities don't cost very much at all, but things like hiking...that's basically free. And when I say hiking...I mean, hiking HERE.
37, M, introverted, not religious, and in a 90% LDS college town. I also don’t drink, which isn’t very popular with the non-LDS crowd. I also have aspergers, which is never good for one’s prospects. On the plus side, I at least own a house and earn over 100k.
Salt Lake City is about an hour away, but I’ve gotten no replies and few messages on dating sites from anyone there (two so far, one much older than me, one with kids)
According to this site, the demographics in SLC are also pretty bleak for a single man my age, with there being 140 single men per 100 single women in the 25-40 range.
I’m kind of clueless as to where to even start. I was (still am) depressed in my 20s and was rejected by everyone who I was interested in, basically gave up looking for much of my 30s to focus on my career (which coincided with the move to Utah). I’m starting to look again, but it feels like I’m just spinning my wheels.
Probably the first step would be to move to somewhere else, but considering the cost of living vs salary, it feels like anywhere I go will be a big step down from what I have now. I’m also an outdoors type, and obvious picks such as Denver have similar (but not as bad) demographics problems. They also seem big into the beer scene and between an alcoholic brother and uncle, and not being able to sleep if I drink at all, that’s not the kind of thing that I’m looking for.
I joined a singles group which I’m about to start going to regularly, but the members are roughly 2/3 male. It’s also an hour away.
I’m kind of clueless about how to even start beyond what I’m already doing, especially at my age. Any advice?
Utah County Or Davis?
I would suggest go to gyms and coffee shops on sundays. Might run into someone at a target cosco or smiths on Sundays too. You could also try outdoor activities (skiing hiking etc on those days).
There are an awful lot of open non practicing LDS in those areas that would make for a good option.
My gf tells me that I am perfectly normal. A bit quirky maybe but she says she loves my quirkiness. I did actually tell her about it on our first date I think it was or it could have been before that. Anyway, I felt secure in telling her. She opened up to me in a big way on our first date.
But generally it is best to keep that sort of thing quite at first. Sooner or later the lady is going to want an explanation for what seems to others to be odd behaviour or thinking patterns.
Just thinking about it - my mother was very odd. Only recently did I realize she was autistic!
Some people are just more comfortable being upfront. There's nothing to be ashamed about. I met and interacted with a few men with ASD, and it was obvious to me when we met in-person. Having been married to a man with HFA and two kids on the spectrum, it's not exactly difficult to observe the range of traits and and mannerisms.
I think SLC is diverse enough that you could find a few women to date, especially since you’re a bit older. Seems middle aged women struggle to find suitable men.
You could try several approaches: make one profile where you’re up front about aspergers, one where you are just another guy (because you are just another guy), and then try to find a suitable venue or activity group for meeting new people and then getting to know them over a period of time.
There’s no magic solution. Put yourself out there. Dress nice, smell clean, and smile when you’re supposed to.
Well, a 2nd profile on a different site couldn't hurt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
I vote for Colorado. Your pool of options is going to be much smaller given the local demographics and your age. (My husband had a similar issue when he lived in a very conservative and religious city -- he focused on dating others who are secular/non-religious. He also doesn't drink and is very introverted.)
Yeah. Colorado is definitely on the list.
I'd love to move back to NM but options are limited. I (probably) failed an interview at LANL today.
Plenty of chile, mountains, and hiking in Colorado. I'm not so much a big city guy, but that's probably where I need to look right now.
It'd certainly be easier to move to SLC than Colorado, though I don't know if it would be "enough" of a difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
Utah County Or Davis?
I would suggest go to gyms and coffee shops on sundays. Might run into someone at a target cosco or smiths on Sundays too. You could also try outdoor activities (skiing hiking etc on those days).
There are an awful lot of open non practicing LDS in those areas that would make for a good option.
Utah County.
Though there aren't many coffee shops locally.
There's one that I'm a regular at in Salt Lake (woo. I have to drive an hour to find a place that makes a decent cappuccino) though it's a really small shop.
I'm trying to get into some of the general hiking groups.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Runninglikethieves
What kind of work do you do?
I'm a programmer. Lots of jobs in Utah Valley (and also SLC) in the field.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 303Guy
Have you thought about establishing an internet relationship? Just friendship. Someone you can talk to openly and freely and who will not judge you but who will help you communicate better. I have no idea how you would go about it though. Perhaps dating sites? I formed a few such friendships on dating sites.
How exactly does one become friends with people online, anyway?
I chatted back and forth with a few people in the Myspace days, but before too long, it always just stopped. I've also been active on several different message boards, but I've never really managed to actually be friends with anyone there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 303Guy
Oh yes, you gotta get that depression under control. I would swing from being Ok to pretty depressed and when I was Ok I had friends and girlfriends but when I got depressed everyone disappeared!
Getting depression under control is easier said than done.
Mine started after the social isolation began when I was a kid, and subsided a fair amount for the last couple of years when I had some actual friends, though in the last year, most of my friends moved away and one of the two remaining ones got really mad at me (in the not talking or admitting that there's even anything wrong to me directly, but clearly avoiding me and also making walls-of-text rants to people we both know, though the only details that I've gleaned about that have been false, so even there I don't know what he's so upset about) The other is just rather unavailable most of the time.
I've tried (a loooooootttttt) of different meds, generally with bad reactions, and my last psychiatrist actually recommended that I not take anything.
Meds were really rough when one of the primary things holding me back is fatigue, and the meds... make the fatigue (a lot) worse? Like, I had a kind of a black hole in my life for 6 months when on Prozak, and another when on low-level Seroquel (prescribed for sleep) when I had so little energy that I could barely drag myself too and from work.
The only one that even remotely worked was Buspar, which I'm on a low dose of right now, though I'm not sure if it's working (I've been on it one month; it was prescribed by a PCP, but maybe I should try a psychiatrist again) Though I guess it's working to some extent, since I've been more driven to actually do something about my non-existent social life and also apply for jobs elsewhere since I started.
I'm bouncing between counselors ATM (in the last year, one who was just useless, and two of them switched jobs to places closer to where they lived) and am about to start seeing another.
Though even there, I'm not sure how to approach it. There are many things that I consider to be "the real issues" but it's always structured around present stressors (or "vague notions of happiness" in the case of the first counselor).
Well, a 2nd profile on a different site couldn't hurt.
Yeah. Colorado is definitely on the list.
I'd love to move back to NM but options are limited. I (probably) failed an interview at LANL today.
Plenty of chile, mountains, and hiking in Colorado. I'm not so much a big city guy, but that's probably where I need to look right now.
It'd certainly be easier to move to SLC than Colorado, though I don't know if it would be "enough" of a difference.
Utah County.
Though there aren't many coffee shops locally.
There's one that I'm a regular at in Salt Lake (woo. I have to drive an hour to find a place that makes a decent cappuccino) though it's a really small shop.
I'm trying to get into some of the general hiking groups.
I'm a programmer. Lots of jobs in Utah Valley (and also SLC) in the field.
How exactly does one become friends with people online, anyway?
I chatted back and forth with a few people in the Myspace days, but before too long, it always just stopped. I've also been active on several different message boards, but I've never really managed to actually be friends with anyone there.
Getting depression under control is easier said than done.
Mine started after the social isolation began when I was a kid, and subsided a fair amount for the last couple of years when I had some actual friends, though in the last year, most of my friends moved away and one of the two remaining ones got really mad at me (in the not talking or admitting that there's even anything wrong to me directly, but clearly avoiding me and also making walls-of-text rants to people we both know, though the only details that I've gleaned about that have been false, so even there I don't know what he's so upset about) The other is just rather unavailable most of the time.
I've tried (a loooooootttttt) of different meds, generally with bad reactions, and my last psychiatrist actually recommended that I not take anything.
Meds were really rough when one of the primary things holding me back is fatigue, and the meds... make the fatigue (a lot) worse? Like, I had a kind of a black hole in my life for 6 months when on Prozak, and another when on low-level Seroquel (prescribed for sleep) when I had so little energy that I could barely drag myself too and from work.
The only one that even remotely worked was Buspar, which I'm on a low dose of right now, though I'm not sure if it's working (I've been on it one month; it was prescribed by a PCP, but maybe I should try a psychiatrist again) Though I guess it's working to some extent, since I've been more driven to actually do something about my non-existent social life and also apply for jobs elsewhere since I started.
I'm bouncing between counselors ATM (in the last year, one who was just useless, and two of them switched jobs to places closer to where they lived) and am about to start seeing another.
Though even there, I'm not sure how to approach it. There are many things that I consider to be "the real issues" but it's always structured around present stressors (or "vague notions of happiness" in the case of the first counselor).
Hmm odd I’m in south Davis and we have 4 coffee shops within 10 min of my house. We also have the best strip club Utah right down the street.
My gym is busy enough on Sunday’s and I know a significant amount of non practicing lds. I would thing you wouldnt have to look to hard.
OK, so you own your own house, have a good job, & don't drink, so that's good IMO.
How are your social/conversational skills & physical appearance? I know looks shouldn't matter, but they do, especially when you want to get out there & attract a mate & date. Do you look like a modern man w/ a nice haircut & stylish clothing OR do you have the same old hairstyle & clothing you've had for the last 10+ yrs &/or any kind of mullet, long hair, ponytail, mowhawk, bowl haircut, or anything else that looks nerdy or from the 80s?
Is your clothing style like the store Express or more like old-timey Sears from 1988?
Are you clean cut? Are you in somewhat good shape? I'm not talking Mr. Olympia here whatsoever, but nice, toned arms/chest, etc.
Do you smile an adequate amount? Don't smile too, too much, but don't be a boring-looking stone either. Do you initiate conversations w/ women or wait for them to come to you? You have to be bolder if you're the sit back & watch type.
I know those w/ Asperger's are socially awkward & may not have good eye contact, etc. Get a self-help book on how to come out of your shell more or how to flirt, etc.
I wish I could see a picture of you, then I could see & possibly give more pointers.
OK, so you own your own house, have a good job, & don't drink, so that's good IMO.
How are your social/conversational skills & physical appearance? I know looks shouldn't matter, but they do, especially when you want to get out there & attract a mate & date. Do you look like a modern man w/ a nice haircut & stylish clothing OR do you have the same old hairstyle & clothing you've had for the last 10+ yrs &/or any kind of mullet, long hair, ponytail, mowhawk, bowl haircut, or anything else that looks nerdy or from the 80s?
Is your clothing style like the store Express or more like old-timey Sears from 1988?
Are you clean cut? Are you in somewhat good shape? I'm not talking Mr. Olympia here whatsoever, but nice, toned arms/chest, etc.
Do you smile an adequate amount? Don't smile too, too much, but don't be a boring-looking stone either. Do you initiate conversations w/ women or wait for them to come to you? You have to be bolder if you're the sit back & watch type.
I know those w/ Asperger's are socially awkward & may not have good eye contact, etc. Get a self-help book on how to come out of your shell more or how to flirt, etc.
I wish I could see a picture of you, then I could see & possibly give more pointers.
Yeah, Latter-Day Saints.
Social skills... I wouldn't have gone most of my life without friends and all of it without romantic partners if they were better.
Appearance? I'd say not great but not terrible. I'm at least not overweight (close to it, though) and 6'2". The sleep/fatigue issues are the biggest thing keeping me from getting into shape (I can and do hike, but I'm usually wiped out for the rest of the day + the next). Frankly, sometimes I'm scared to exercise much during the week, since I'll be fighting to stay awake and focused at work the next day (and still somehow manage to not sleep during the night)
Rough-shaven (not a fan of blades, so I use an electric), recent haircut (probably a bit too short).
I see. Well, again, try finding a good self-help book. If possible definitely exercise/lift weights Fridays & Saturdays if you work a M-F job, which means you don't have to worry about staying awake on Sat or Sun if you exercise Fri & Sat.
Good luck with finding that special person out there! It's rough as it is, so don't ever give up.
Social skills... I wouldn't have gone most of my life without friends and all of it without romantic partners if they were better.
Appearance? I'd say not great but not terrible. I'm at least not overweight (close to it, though) and 6'2". The sleep/fatigue issues are the biggest thing keeping me from getting into shape (I can and do hike, but I'm usually wiped out for the rest of the day + the next). Frankly, sometimes I'm scared to exercise much during the week, since I'll be fighting to stay awake and focused at work the next day (and still somehow manage to not sleep during the night)
Rough-shaven (not a fan of blades, so I use an electric), recent haircut (probably a bit too short).[/quote]
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Okay, as a girl in your age range, you need to grow your hair slightly longer. Not long, just slightly longer.
Is it a buzz cut? Girls don't like that.
I picked this pic bc the hairstyle looks easy to do.
Most girls like clean cut. Unless it is a goatee of some kind. Needs to be very well kept though.
Look, girls don't like blades either but here we are shaving our legs every day. You have to make some effort.
I am not sure what type of girls you have been asking out, but are they really pretty? How about trying just average? Not ugly, just cute?
I also noticed that you didn't like girls with kids. I have lots of girlfriends (hot girls) who got pregnant young and would love to find a man who will accept their kid. A woman your age or even younger will have kids by now. I don't bc I can't physically have one. Girls have to wait for a guy to ask, but if I was a guy, I would keep asking until one said yes. It's pure statistics, one is bound to say yes eventually. Just saying.
Good luck!
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Just saying. 
