Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Whether you're single, in a relationship, or married, which of these turn you off the most?
1. When a guy is too nice (lets you get away with everything and gives you anything you want)
2. When a guy doesn't want to take charge and leaves a lot of the decision-making up to you
3. When a guy lacks self-confidence (doesn't stand up for what he believes in, doesn't express his opinions and beliefs with convinction) 4. When a guy doesn't take care of himself physically (overweight, etc.)
5. When he's bad or selfish in bed -- doesn't take the lead
6. When he doesn't do anything spontaneous (come up with new things to do/new ways to enhance the relationship, like traveling and trying new restaurants)
7. When he shows zero ambition (no real plans to better himself, like getting a new job, taking on a new hobby, etc.)
8. A combination of all the above
I think a guy needs a strong father figure for guidance to help steer clear of these faults.
Sadly this is the truth and once the manchild has grown to adulthood without the inspiration and example of what it means to be a 'man' it's difficult to change. Not necessarily impossible but challenging at best.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
All of these characteristics add up to a weak man, and anyone who has one of those traits probably has most of them.
No one wants someone like that. Women won't want him as a partner and men won't want him as a friend.
I would say the same if the subject was female.
This
Some of those character flaws may be tolerable depending on the degree but I have to go with #8, all of the above.
a combination of all of the above except for #1. though I'm not such a stickler about weight.
lack of ambition is a big one, followed by lack of self confidence. bad/selfish in bed sucks too. i prefer men who are middle of the road - overly dominant and we'll literally be fighting every day. overly submissive and that makes me uncomfortable.
All of these characteristics add up to a weak man, and anyone who has one of those traits probably has most of them.
No one wants someone like that. Women won't want him as a partner and men won't want him as a friend.
I would say the same if the subject was female.
This is definitely an interesting logic, given that some of those things listed happen to contradict to some others or they can be seen as sets of behavior that are inversely proportional to their counterparts.
I.e. #6 vs #7.... people who aren't spontaneous and happen to plan things ahead are generally very ambitious. In fact, I do evaluate people on this matter itself as well when I evaluate them as the type of a person and I do it when I do the decision making whether I'm going to employ them or not.
Another would be #2 vs #3. To clear this up, I'm a guy and you're a woman. I am definitely more qualified to say that these two are far more at odds than they happen to converge, but I leave such option as a possibility, it could be a generational/special case observation that you have so I'd wish to know how old you are and if you happened to be referring to christian/muslim fundamentalists or some other group that behaves much differently than the general audience.
An explanation is due on my part... Dating as a man (or woman), in a nutshell: You don't want to give leisure or space to the other person in order to play their options at the detriment of your own, you want them to make up their mind because you're also eager to play the field and walk away instead of feeding someone's ego. When talking about guys, "taking charge" is disproportionately a result of mindset among men who lack experience and confidence. A man is already assertive and will have best success in dating by playing a vague game. If a woman doesn't get it then she either isn't interested in you or in anyone at the moment (same goes for men). In this game of vagueness, you'll be upfront on your goal and if you don't achieve your goal then you better move on.
This vagueness is something that women don't want, because they all wish the #1 scenario when there's a guy that they want, but if a guy goes that route when he hits on a woman he has generally failed before it even started, because she'll generally be prone to continue playing other options now that she "has" you.
Hence the assertiveness through vagueness, with the confidence that if she isn't interested - then you just move on and seek for other opportunity with another woman some other time.
This is definitely an interesting logic, given that some of those things listed happen to contradict to some others or they can be seen as sets of behavior that are inversely proportional to their counterparts.
I.e. #6 vs #7.... people who aren't spontaneous and happen to plan things ahead are generally very ambitious. In fact, I do evaluate people on this matter itself as well when I evaluate them as the type of a person and I do it when I do the decision making whether I'm going to employ them or not.
Another would be #2 vs #3. To clear this up, I'm a guy and you're a woman. I am definitely more qualified to say that these two are far more at odds than they happen to converge, but I leave such option as a possibility, it could be a generational/special case observation that you have so I'd wish to know how old you are and if you happened to be referring to christian/muslim fundamentalists or some other group that behaves much differently than the general audience.
An explanation is due on my part... Dating as a man (or woman), in a nutshell: You don't want to give leisure or space to the other person in order to play their options at the detriment of your own, you want them to make up their mind because you're also eager to play the field and walk away instead of feeding someone's ego. When talking about guys, "taking charge" is disproportionately a result of mindset among men who lack experience and confidence. A man is already assertive and will have best success in dating by playing a vague game. If a woman doesn't get it then she either isn't interested in you or in anyone at the moment (same goes for men). In this game of vagueness, you'll be upfront on your goal and if you don't achieve your goal then you better move on.
This vagueness is something that women don't want, because they all wish the #1 scenario when there's a guy that they want, but if a guy goes that route when he hits on a woman he has generally failed before it even started, because she'll generally be prone to continue playing other options now that she "has" you.
Hence the assertiveness through vagueness, with the confidence that if she isn't interested - then you just move on and seek for other opportunity with another woman some other time.
No, YOU have interesting logic!
6 vs 7: Those may contradict each other when it comes to the common hard working man who chooses his job over fun. But I see 6 AND 7 all the time, usually in depressed people. They don't have the energy for fun OR a job/obsession. You probably don't see these people often, as they don't leave the house and you probably don't WANT to talk to them.
2 vs 3: I get what you're saying. Most low self-esteem guys put on a show because they were told that taking charge is attractive. Then there's that depressed guy, who doesn't have the energy to take charge or have self-confidence.
I think there's an explanation for all of this! Consider that there are three general categories you can put men (or women) into...
1. Depressed, doesn't try, low self-esteem etc.
2. Depressed but trying, cocky, overbearing, trying to validate his manliness
3. A truly great guy, fully self-confident etc.
Obviously no one man fits perfectly into one category, and people can change categories on a whim. But I think your counter-point is based on the #2 guy.
Obviously no one man fits perfectly into one category, and people can change categories on a whim. But I think your counter-point is based on the #2 guy.
People can change on a whim? Really?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
