Online dating - Is this a date (guys, separate, couple)
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Yep. I thought I moved slowly. But I still wanted a physical demonstration of mutual attraction by the third or fourth date or so. Sometimes sooner was okay too. Didn't mean I was immediately jumping into bed, just wanted a sense it was wanted.
Of course it was a date. I hate the way people dance around that with OLD. A "first meet," "meet for coffee/drinks," "get together for lunch" - all of them are dates, even if it's your first time meeting the person face-to-face and you never go out again. It is common for people to go on many first/last dates when dating.
Why do people make this kind of basic stuff more complicated than it needs to be?
Agreed. In fact, it's only on this forum where I've ever even seen or heard of the term "first meet." Everyone I know in real life just says, "I have a date" even if it's with a stranger they met online. I've never heard anyone actually say out loud in person, "I have a first meet." WTF is that?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkylarkPhotoBooth
Agreed. In fact, it's only on this forum where I've ever even seen or heard of the term "first meet." Everyone I know in real life just says, "I have a date" even if it's with a stranger they met online. I've never heard anyone actually say out loud in person, "I have a first meet." WTF is that?
It's a meeting to determine if one wants to have a date with someone. I don't hear it called "first meet" IRL, but people do say "I'm meeting someone tonight" and don't call it a date, when they don't know them, very frequently in my experience. It's a smart move, and it takes the pressure off of the situation.
OP you didn't say what happened next, what were your response?
Be it a date to you or a meet up to him, whatever. I'd say next time let the guy pay. If he has a problem with this, pay up and move on, or just move on.
I asked him if he wanted me to pay my share, he smiled and asked me is this a date.
...
I am not sure what the proper response would have been, did I say or do something offensive?
... is a breach of etiquette.
It's akin to a restaurant server taking away the bill with your cash payment and asking, "Do you want change?" which could be seen as disingenuously fishing for a tip. It would be better to just say, "I'll be back in a moment with your change..." which then gives the patron the chance to be "generous" and say, "Oh, just keep the change."
Be earnest, especially on "first meets" or first dates (whatever they are called), about paying your share if that is truly your intention. If not, don't even bring it up.
Had 5th date and didn't work out. He tried to kiss me with open mouth, personally find that a little too aggressive and pushy. Prefer someone who is gentler and wants to take the time to actually get to know me. Put ad back up and will have to try again for now. Pity.
Had 5th date and didn't work out. He tried to kiss me with open mouth, personally find that a little too aggressive and pushy. Prefer someone who is gentler and wants to take the time to actually get to know me. Put ad back up and will have to try again for now. Pity.
If you think an attempt at an open mouth kiss is not only "too soon" on a 5th date, but also a deal breaker, you're in for a big surprise.
Good on you for having standards but few men who are attracted to you are going to be a match with this pace.
It's a meeting to determine if one wants to have a date with someone.
Yes, I understand that, because I see it used on this forum all the time. I'm just saying I don't hear it used in real life, which makes it not a real thing in my world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I don't hear it called "first meet" IRL, but people do say "I'm meeting someone tonight" and don't call it a date, when they don't know them, very frequently in my experience. It's a smart move, and it takes the pressure off of the situation.
Sure, I hear those terms used in real life, but they're pretty much understood to be the same thing as a date. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't see people obsessing over definitions of encounters in real life the way they do on this forum, where many seem to think there is some specific difference between a "first meet" and a "first date." In real life it's just going out, hanging out, meeting, grabbing a drink, going to dinner, whatever, but it is all understood to fall under the general category of "date" when it's with someone you met on a freaking dating site. It's not like you're on there looking for golfing partners.
I think that I offered to pay my share because when the check came he looked at me, whereas in the past the man gets the check without saying a word, in hindsight I think his behavior was tacky and will keep that in mind for when I meet someone new next time. I think when I am asked where I would like to meet, I will suggest a place and ask is this within your budget, so it's clear.
Yes he paid for the dinner dates and on the last one he brought a bouquet of flowers (something you would give to mom), not a romantic partner. It's the thought that counts but I like someone who is super romantic, and choice of flowers show this, more romantic imo means a more attentive partner.
He never tried to hold my hand or even kiss me before so it surprised me that he went to kiss me with open mouth. Personally I prefer when a man likes to hold your hand and is affectionate and gentle, not someone who goes from not even sharing any type of affection and expecting to me to want to kiss with open mouth. Major turn off.
Well, it's because he paid for all your dates. Yeah. I don't think the guy is a good guy. I've had men pay for our meets well actually all of them. Only one did that to me and wow, while I did not feel he will rape me, that is a major turn off. Not open mouth though. A kissy lips with eyes closed. LOL, I laugh now I remember it. I was forced to kiss coz he won't get out of my car if I didn't. This is the same guy who said he wants to buy a house with me, huh?! And who said his ex called police on him several times, LOL. I was out of there real quick.
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